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Quark

I pledge 10 bars of gold-pressed latinum.

motionview

Nowhere in your description of the incident do you mention that Weiner is a Democrat. Are you not aware that there is a special justice system for Democrats, covering everything from health insurance mandate waivers to stimulus money flow? Perhaps the Bizarro-FBI is hot on the trail of this hacker, EVEN AS WE SPEAK (er TYPE).

Unibummer

Congressman Weiner: "There's hacking afoot, and not a moment to lose! Quick! To the Weiner-mobile!"

Horshack Robin: "Hyaaaaannnnnnh!"

No Whining

When tasty l'il iWeiners start popping up all over the internet, who will be first to offer iCondiments? Answer that, and you'll know exactly who's behind this scandal.

Blue Hen

I think that such times call for desperate measures. Dan Rather needs to put down that bottle of booze, get those gumshoes off of the desk and back on the pavement and ferret out who hijacked the weiner wagon. Why Dan Rather you ask? Because this job calls for a Dick.

Quilly Mammoth

I got a set of Thomas "B" valve covers for a 32 Model A I'll throw in to bring that miscreant to justice.

And why is the Left Wing Noise Machine saying that it wasn't a hack at all when Mr. Weiner says it was?

Mr. Nefarious

Hey, I'm a l33t hax0r and I just hacked into three accounts and used my mad skillz to send this girl I've been he was flirting with a picture that didn't surprise her. And I didn't even change the passwords!

Next I broke into his bank account and checked his balance!

Mitch Rapp

Weiner's johnson is making him more popular than the mighty O'Bama. Will Weiner run instead of O'Bama?

Lawrence Person

If my estimates are correct, your $1,000 reward works out to a hefty $333.33 an inch...

arlo

It should be Whack the Weiner Hacker Fund.

RT

My god. When I first saw that picture I thought "Why do they have a picture of Horshack from 'Welcome back Kotter' on the page?". I had no idea that was supposed to be him. Seperated at birth!

Fehk-Mo

Why is he using a picture of JoAnne Kloppenburg?

Jason Mart

Frankly, Weiner should first be thoroughly grilled and if it is indeed the sort of pickle it currently seems, skewered by the media and removed from orifice.

Victoria

I can kick in 100 Pan Am airmiles.

refried beanie wells

I enjoyed the hockey game too, but it didn't give me a boner.

T Johnson

Has anyone checked with Loraina Bobbit?

smitch

I thought Horshack was dead.

PeriBlue

This video explains all:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNddW2xmZp8
"Oh I'd love to be an Oscar Mayer Weiner*. That is what I'd truly like to be-ee--ee. 'Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner. Everyone would be in love with me."

He just wants to be loved you guys. Leave him alone.

(*spelling changed in keeping with the situation!)

Jeffersonian

Could it be that we'll find the real killer of Nicole Brown-Simpson and Ron Goldman lurking with this sinister hacker of innocent Weiners?

GnuBreed

A minor correction Mr. Iowahawk -- From the fount of well researched info known as wiki, here is the the education background of our favorite Weiner:

He originally had failed the admission test for Stuyvesant High School by one point.[7] After graduating (1981), he attended the State University of New York at Plattsburgh, where he played hockey. He originally sought to become a television weatherman, but his interests soon turned towards politics, and he became active in student government. Weiner and Jon Stewart, of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, were roommates after college; Stewart has contributed to Weiner's election campaigns and has hosted Weiner on his show.[8]

After graduating with a Bachelor of Arts degree, Weiner worked on the staff of then-Congressman and current Senator Chuck Schumer (1985–91)

Frederick

His youth photo looks like Abby Joseph Cohen.

Geoff

@Tena | May 31, 2011 at 06:40 AM
"Geoff? "I don't care about this guy, the details, or whether he sent this or didn't..." LOL! Really? Then, what on earth would make you read a blog on the subject?"

Well because the Memeorandum coverage of non-underpants stories today is rather slim.
Did you have a followup to your "why are you reading today's big story today" question? Maybe something about my choice of a computer to post?

ThirteenthGreen

http://www.tmz.com/2008/06/10/horshack-memba-him/
The truth is out!

Weinered

You people...just don't care about the REAL travesties here. #1 hairless medical conditions #2 deflation #3 PTWS #4 eye strain #5 Historic IPhone and Hanes share sell-off #6 Weinerism #7 inchworms

ussjimmycarter

Listen, if wieners are going to start popping up all over the internet, I say we need safe wieners. I shall contribute a box of Trojans (unlubricated) to the cause to make certain we don't have a bunch of unintended young wieners running around the internet. This is serious folks, and is going to get out of control very quickly and someone is going to die! We need a law, your wiener hits the internet, it then hit's the paper cutter!

Tena

Geoff? "I don't care about this guy, the details, or whether he sent this or didn't..." LOL! Really? Then, what on earth would make you read a blog on the subject? You sound like you're on Weiner's staff... no pun intended. If Weiner is so innocent... why doesn't he just request an FBI investigation? NO... instead HE lawyers up... lol!

On another note... after seeing that HS picture of Weiner I can understand why he is such a putz... he MUST have been beaten up every day in high school. At first I thought it was a picture of Rachel MadCow.

Geoff

"as well as his world class ninja programming skills"

I don't know your technical knowledge, but basically someone gaining your logins to all your accounts at the same time and you being able to rectify that are both very plausible and trivial.

Have a smartphone you use for social networks? Live/work in any kind of urban area? Don't know the answer to my next question before I ask it?
Congrats, you're on that menu. It's literally a 1 click process with a GUI to select your shit to be taken over.

I don't care about this guy, the details, or whether he sent this or didn't, but you sound like someone from 2000 suggesting it's a laughable suggestion a guy could re-wind TV to watch a replay. Not everyone had a PVR back then, but if there's a suggestion that's a crazy story, you're the joke, not him.

daddy

Lets ask CNN's Dick Quest to do a dick quest on Weiner's Weiner...or at least take a Poll.

Kinialohaguy

OMG It’s Janice Ian

Kini on December 8, 2010 at 6:21 PM

He learned the truth at 17,
That jobs were meant for working fiends,
Who did their jobs and then got paid,
And who plied an actual, useful trade.

Remember those who play the game
Get attention and TV fame,
While telling us how to live,
And just how much income we should give,
The small town eyes will gape, it’s true
When value gained falls short of payment due,
Elitism is all it seems
at seventeen …

Ed Morrissey on December 8, 2010 at 6:30 PM

Joseph Cannon

There probably was no hacker. The only evidence against Weiner was a screen cap which appeared on Breitbart's site. The screen cap is, I believe, a fake. The evidence is here:

http://cannonfire.blogspot.com/2011/05/was-congressman-weiner-smeared-yes.html

Mike

This is a lot more than an innocent "prank". Whoever did this made Anthony Weiner look like a sex pervert or deviant. Isn't it important that Weiner defend his honor and report this to the FBI and put the "hacker" behind bars?

Raincityjazz

Let's buy the congressman a cucumber and a few cloves of garlic. Right now the poor guy's pretty much firing blanks in the sexting department.

Curly Kramden

With that schnozzola, a picture of the underpants positioned correctly on his head would have been more impressive.

neil sedaka

My rep he had a first name
it was T-O-N-Y
My rep he had a second name
it was W-E-I-N-E-R

How he loved to snap those photographs
and spice up fawning high school chats

Cause Tony Weiner lost his job with T-W-I-T-T-E-R

Rae4palin

I pledge my Dutch Brothers card. ($2.25 balance)

westsoundmodern

In addition to Burge's one thousand large he's tossed into the prize kitty, I'd like to contribute my own entire 2008 federal tax filing in which I am a bit delinquent to the tune of ten grand give or take. Thank you Iowahawk for solving this little "issue" of mine that I had been contemplating handing off to Taxmasters.

marc

LET JUSTICE RAIN DOWN LIKE WATER!

Daryl

You know it will be an intern who did it, who will be accused, fired, with no charges brought against him. He will then retire very comfortably in Hawaii.

Ain't Government power grand?

Freewinersweiner

I did not have sensual relations with that weiner!

SecondMouse

Not sure if this qualifies, but I would be happy to provide instruction to the Congressman on the difference between sending a tweet to the entire universe and sending a direct message using Twitter to a smokin' hot Seattle coed. This will dramatically reduce the likelihood that any imagery of the congressman's brand new wardrobe of Fruit of the Loom whitie tighties should enter the public domain.

aelfheld

It's obviously a VRWC black ops; that uber-Republican, Paul Ryan, once worked as a Wienermobile driver.

Howard D. Doyle

Andrew Breitbart, while rummaging through his father-in-law’s (Orson Bean‘s) attic, discovered a portal into Anthony Weiner’s brain. He began charging admission for the “through the eyes of a Weiner” experience. Disgraced Congressman Christopher Lee (NY) signed up and went trolling for young nubile twitter tail.

Weiner is the victim of right-wing hackery.

Check the charges on Lee’s AmEx card, and look for “Being Anthony Weiner” or “Big Portal”.

This must be stopped.

RedGrains

'How to Use twitter to Make a Johnson a Weiner'=shapeshifting for the unwashed whacker

Bolivar5599

Just for the lil Wiener and his reward I have 2 balls of lint and a chewn gumm wrapper with the gum in it chewd.

RedGrains

Expiring minds want to know...When does a Wiener become a Johnson? Is this a tranfiguration...a twitter sack..rament?

MrsD

Here's a hot tip to forward to authorities: The picture, of one Client No. 10, was taken in the stall adjacent to the one where Larry (Wide Stance) Craig was found to be an evil-doer and drummed out of the human race. The underpants were traced to the friend of a Debbie Wasserman Schultz look-alike cross dresser, who was said to be hiding to Seattle. The hacker was none-other than WikiLeaks themselves, who wanted to bring down the illustrious Congressman after not being invited to his wedding.

Mike

I'd like to donate these magic beans to the beer -- uhh, Prize fund.

MOTUS

As a loyal public servant and valued senior member of Team Obama I am not allowed to involve myself in the dispensing of any financial remuneration or reward. Big Guy handles all the cash giveaways personally.

Butt I can add to the reward the personally generated and autographed (not by autopen) reflection of your choice. This cowardly weiner hacking terrorist must be stopped and brought to justice.

BTW @CowardlyWeinerHackingTerrorist, Big Guy has not ruled out deployment of Seal Team 6 to apprehend you, so I advise you to give yourself up. Quickly!

Folly

I have a tip to the investigators: I believe it was Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory with a knife. Don't ask me how I know that. I must keep the identify of informants secret.

Arms Merchant

That's not Weiner in the photo, that's Barry Miller, who played the kid that jumped off the Verrazano Narrows Bridge in Saturday Night Fever.

Howard D. Doyle

Janis Ian, that is.

Howard D. Doyle

I have a box of TV bonus "Cap Snafflers" in my garage I would gladly donate to the cause. (What does that picture of Jani Ian have to do with Weiner hackers?)

MikeL

For my contribution to this bounteous bounty I offer fifteen cents and a nail and the shell of a great-great-great-grandfather snail.

LTC John Tammes

Mr. B, If you have a winner collect on your bounty, I'll throw in the 4th left metatarsal bone of St. Cedd....well, not really, howz about I throw in a little Taliban era Afghan currency? A few 100s should do the trick.

The last loyal Lizard

I'll need to see a flashing imposition over at Chuck's place before I can come to any conclusions.

Mark

A young Juan Epstein?

Linda

Regarding the above photo of the hapless hack attack victim, I have but one thing to say: "Dude looks like a lady".

'Course he also bears a resemblance to Horshak from Welcome Back, Kotter.

And to Screech from Saved By The Bell.

Things that make ya go Hmmmmm....

AtlantaGator

If the panties don't fit, you must acquit.

vanderleun

Real Moral of this Story: On a long slow news weekend be careful about going all in on the flop.

vanderleun

"This fellow http://twitter.com/markos seems to know an awful lot. He even seems to know exactly who did it and when."

Well yes, but he does point to a Kossack who seems to have a point by point timeline and breakdown.

"Breitbart's #TwitterHoax - How It Went Down (updated w/ smoking gun)"

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/05/29/980400/-Breitbarts-#TwitterHoaxHow-It-Went-Down-%28updated-wsmoking-gun%29

As much as I might enjoy this if it were true, I am not as yet sold on the story.

The Great Satan's Ghost

This so-called "money" we are to send/pledge to the reward, it wouldn't be held in the same place as the beer/hotrod fund, like the rest of your money is, would it? Methinks there are plots within plots here.

aelfheld

VoteOutIncumbents, it's not like Weiner is some Republican sending out pictures of his naked torso.

jmflynny

That photo of a younger Weiner reminds me of this. A lot.

http://tinyurl.com/3pvg98z

VoteOutIncumbents

Don't worry folks, the intrepid MSM is all over this story!

Not.

mcg

Relax, @Nachmanides. Sometimes a wiener joke is just a wiener joke.

Harry Bergeron

Has anyone interviewed the Other Victim, Miss Chesty McCoed? Please forward her contact details to me, ASAP, since I have lots of questions for her.

In these sophisticated black ops, there are many layers of deceit. I would start with a shadowy character who goes by D. Burge, a known master of duplicity, who apparently knows details that the Authorities do not.

He likes to pose as a semi-doofus, drunken hotrodder, but he actually attended a junior college in Iowa, I'm told, and has been seen using a TI-73 "calculator".

How better to divert suspicion than have one of the conspirators post a reward and insinuate himself into the "Investigation"? I would think twice before disclosing any real information to this fellow.

Wheels within wheels, people; wheels withing wheels.

vanderleun

Someone's going to get their weiner caught in a wringer, but I'm not so sure he'll be a member of congress.

joe

Possible hackers name; iamnotaweener

Howard D. Doyle

When I see that photo, I hear the lyrics..."I learned the truth at seventeen..."

BobH

Moral of this story: Be careful w/ those BlackBerrys, 'cause they will turn on you and broadcast your junk!

@tnpitmaster

Congressman Weiner is already in talks with Harper Collins on his tell all memoir: "Anthony Weiner: If I Did It, Here's How It Happenned". The story of his relentless search for the hacker!

@tnpitmaster

You better hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hackers takin over yo twitter tonight! They hackin eveerybody up in here!

Huma Weiner

I have nothing to say at this time.

iowahawk

Let's hope WeiniLeaks is on the case.

Narniaman

So is the esteemed and intrepid Congressman Weiner eligible for the reward too? This is important. . . .it's very possible that he could be the one to correctly identify the culprit!!

Paul B

I will pledge Eleventytwo Quatloos to hunt down this scum.

Stark Dickflüssig

This fellow http://twitter.com/markos seems to know an awful lot. He even seems to know exactly who did it and when.

Sam Valley

If Weiner did text a photo of L'il Anthony, he will not be charged with indecent exposue due to a lack of evidence.

Nachmanides

The weiner in that photo look a little large to be a Hebrew National. Just saying.

Oh, good. By all means let’s resort to antisemitism. Sounds like fun!

Norman Plum

The weiner in that photo look a little large to be a Hebrew National. Just saying.

BobH

I'll check the golf course!
(I hear criminals like to hang out there)

sarainitaly

"the intrepid Congressmen sent out a new tweet explaining how he was victimized by an Internet criminal mastermind."

He first sent out five other tweets about hockey. I don't think the "i've been hacked" tweet came until over an hour later. Kind of weird, eh?

Hilarious post, as usual!

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