IOWAHAWK FREE SPEECH SUSPENSION CRISISGATE

Dear Iowahawk Reader:

I have just received a memo from me informing me that I have suspended myself without pay, for alleged violations of the Iowahawk Code of Ethics:

Dear Me:

Effective 8 am this morning, you have been relieved from your duties as Chief Executive Senior Anchor at Iowahawk. The Iowahawk Code of Ethics clearly states (Section 3c[11.05]) that:

Employees of Iowahawk shall, during critical election seasons, remain at their assigned posts and think of cheap blog stunts to suck in the big internet traffic. During the seven days immediately preceding and seven days immediately following a national election, prohibited employee activities include, but are not limited to:

1. Partying with Tim Blair.
2. Driving about aimlessly in a hot rod.
3. Flying to the coast and getting drunk.
4. Moonlighting as a fire insurance 'consultant'

It has been brought to my attention that during the recent election season you were engaged in at least three of these prohibited activities. Therefore I have no other recourse but to suspend me indefinitely pending my thorough investigation and review into this matter.

Sincerely,
Me

As a strong supporter of the First Amendment I will not take this suspension lying down, and neither should you. Get the word out - write to me in the comments section and demand that I reinstate myself immediately. Enlist your friends and neighbors in the Free Iowahawk campaign. Organize boycotts of Iowahawk advertisers and non-advertisers. Together we can defend our precious rights of Free Speech and premium ad rates.

I will post frequent updates as this constitutional crisis unfolds. Until then... Good Night, and Good Luck.

UPDATE 10:08 AM Attention Twitter users! College Politico has created a Twibbon to show your support in my fight against Big Me.

UPDATE 10:24 AM The Jawa Report stands up for free speech.

UPDATE 10:30 AM Good news! I have un-suspended me!

UPDATE 10:31 AM No I haven't! You're re-suspended!

UPDATE 10:55 AM Signs of thawing? I am scheduled for an emergency suspension meeting with me at 11:00, where I will be represented by my attorney, me. Keep up the pressure, folks!

UPDATE 11:55 AM Bad news. After a contentious meeting where I demanded an apology from me, me countered that it was actually me who deserved an apology from I. Of course, me stormed out of the meeting, but not before telling I that me was rejecting his suspension and would immediately go on strike. Me will soon be issuing an official Open Letter to announce my upcoming Special Comment on the Me vs. I matter. Until then, me am making myself available to all high-traffic media outlets for interviews.

UPDATE 12:30 PM More bad news. My pageviews are not responding to this Free Speech Crisis as quickly as I had anticipated. Keep up the pressure on non-linking big shot blog media, and remind all non-Iowahawk advertisers that you will boycott them until they take advantage of my once-in-a-lifetime discount Free Speech Crisis ad rates.

UPDATE 12:34 PM Controversial blogger Rand Simberg, who is allegedly implicated in my so-called "ethics violations" chimes in.

UPDATE 3:37 PM When protesting the Orwellian suspension of Iowahawk, enjoy the rich menthol flavor of Kools - the official cigarette of the First Amendment. Now in the exclusive crush-proof box!

UPDATE 3:52 PM Solidarity! Little Miss Attila, Dan Collins and Double Plus Undead stand up and lend their voices for Free Speech and Increased Iowahawk Ad Revenues. Stand by for an important Statement.

UPDATE 4:48 PM IMPORTANT STATEMENT TO IOWAHAWK READERS

Dear Iowahawk Reader:

During the ongoing Iowahawk suspension / unsuspension / disunsuspension / strike crisis, I suspected that I and the other corporate "suits" at Iowahawk would pull out all stops to discredit me. But I never thought that I would stoop as low as to engage in a whispering campaign accusing me of treason against the United States of America. Sadly, this now appears to be the case. As we all know by now, a mysterious rocket powered missile was spotted over California today. Just as mysteriously, a new meme is appearing on Twitter, somehow linking this event with my recent alleged trip to California and subsequent suspension of myself.

Let me be clear. Yes, I was in California recently. And yes, during my visit I did spend last Thursday at XCOR Aerospace, a manufacturer of suborbital rocket vehicles in Mojave, at the invitation of renowned controversial science space blogger Rand Simberg.

And yes, okay, I sometimes enjoy playing with and/or driving rocket-propelled items. What of it? I have never sought to hide any of this from the public. But for anyone to somehow string these completely unrelated "facts" as evidence of some sort of bizarre master plan on my part to steal a rocket from XCOR and use it in a botched hold up of a Malibu liquor store, well, I mean, come on. That's just crazy talk. The so-called "facts" being shopped around by Iowahawk's corporate goons are as coincidental as the unexplained weekend break in and missing equipment at XCOR. If you ask me, the so-called "mystery rocket" was almost certainly fired by UN ships, seeking to enforce war crime sanctions against California for "The Kardashians," "The Hills," and "Real Housewives of Orange County."

I am shocked that myself would suggest that I would be involved in a brazen military attack on what is arguably still part of the United States. At long last, me, have I no shame?

UPDATE 6:29 PM More solidarity as Cynthia "A Conservative Lesbian" Yockey, Miserable Donuts, and In Jennifer's Head join the chorus of freedom-loving voices calling for the end of my outrageous suspension of me. Like me, these patriots know that our brave forefathers died that I would be able to exercise my freedom of expression without the cowardly, craven interference of me. And, like me, these patriots enjoy the smooth satisfying flavor of Night Train® fortified wine-like beverage.

Night Train® - the perfect drink for the on-the-go human rights activist. Perfect alone, or as a tasty compliment to a delicious meal of Hot Pockets® and Dabo's® Spicy Hot Fried Pork Rinds.

Look for them at your local fine independent grocers!

Comments

[Mr. Ogrrre]

Iowahawk, I don't think you've fully thought through the ramifications of your suspension of Iowahawk. My word, what would happen if the Emperor suspended Misha over at the Rottweiler Empire?
Are you also aware that your suspending, unsuspending, resuspending, etc., of Iowahawk may easily set up a resonance in the space-time continuum, thereby causing stars with only one solar mass to go supernova? This could result in plagues of locusts, dogs and cats living together, a Republican majority in the House ... hmmm...nemmind.

[Blue Hen]

In a move eerily familar to one seen on Capitol Hill, Iowahawk has challenged the procedings being brought against him by....him. Iowahawk claimed that his finances were in a state of disarray, due to fiscal mismanagment by the firm that employs him, Iowahawk Llc,Inc, TM, PDQ. This situation has resulted in a strained cash and liquor flow, both of which, he asserts, are essential for a succesful defense. Mr. Iowahawk (the stylebook compells us to use this honorific)also drew a rather sharp connection between the court and an associate well known to Mr. Iowahawks' employers, saying "it's fitting that my persecutors know Tim Blair, since both he and the court have an intimate knowledge of kangaroos, if you know what I mean". At that point, Iowahawk corporate security declared the proceedings concluded for the day and ejected the press.

[fluke_boy]

I freely admit that it was I who fired both Iowahawk and Mr. David Burge. So there. nya nya nya!

Now, where are my PBRs?

[dennis m]

Dear Me Hawk,

Double secret probation is the only answer.

Call a community organizer for help.

MMMMMMMMM, mmmmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmm

[Vanguard of the Commentariat]

In capitalism, man exploits man. In Iowahawk, its the other way around.

[archtop]

It is clear that your punishment is NOT suitably severe. Accordingly, I demand that Mr. me be required to march in the 2011 VEISHA parade/riot dressed as a free-range chicken with a sign that reads "Down with people who carry protest signs!"...

[Steve Burri]

"We don't need no stinkin' Burges!"

[John Frary]

Needles to say.................

[Tcobb]

This is the problem with bourgeoisie capitalist states. When you free yourself from your false consciousness the answer is clear: send IowaHawk to a re-education camp. It is the humane and socially responsible thing to do, whether the scumbag apologist for Capitalism likes it or not. (David Burge --don't be so naive as not to see the connection with bourgeoisie. Don't be so naive Comrades as to thing otherwise.)

Besides, if he's insufficiently grateful and/or resists re-education we can always shoot him.

[fiftyville]

But what will the neighbors think?

[Sioux Lady]

Split!!! Personalities.

[Lamontyoubigdummy]

That damn Blair. He gets his friends in more trouble than Bill Brasky.

[Tyrone Slothrop]

I am shocked and dismayed at your behavior for violating Iowahawk ethics rules, and shocked and dismayed at your behavior for suspending you for violating Iowahawk ethics rules. Imagine. When a journalist like yourself cannot express himself freely, or can express himself freely, I believe the Republic is in grave danger.

[toadold]

Well as the old Catholic explanation went I see this as a clover, their is the me, the I, the other me, and the holy cow, all leaves of the same planted one....the problem is leaf rot. I notice there is no mention of me's offer of rice cake to the oriental chick at the show, for that alone he should be uh.....did she have a sister?

[jetty]

Yes, this fellow needs to be fired. Policy is policy, and without it there would be less policy and less regulation. And without that there would be...wait, what were we talking about?

[Corona]

What the....When did Iowahawk get a comments section? Did a bell go off?

[Joe at Cold fury]

Apologies, boycotts, Night Train vs. Thunderbird ... I think you're all missing the most important aspect of this heinous suspension - how will this affect me, Joe at Cold Fury?

I warn you, Mr. Burge, to reinstate yourself immediately or I'll start blogging again. And no one wants that to happen ...

[Claude Hopper]

More to the point, did you know that on page 1361 of Morse and Feshbach's Methods of Theoretical Physics, Part II, Section 11.2 Waves in Two Space Dimensions, there is sub section on Fourier Transforms and Green's Functions?

[Dennis M]

Dear Hawk,

I caution you, as a friend, that you do not seem to have much of a case regarding the first amendment in as much as none of the listed infringements, “1. Partying with Tim Blair.
2. Driving about aimlessly in a hot rod.
3. Flying to the coast and getting drunk.
4. Moonlighting as a fire insurance 'consultant'”, involve speech of any kind.

Therefore, I think the first “Me” will win in court.

Sorry. Although, I usually root for the underdog.

.

[punditius]

Just why should anyone give a rat's ass about this? I mean, we all know that Iowahawk is a shill for those who would destroy our country by boogying all night long. I think it's a farce for Iowahawk to take this self-righteous stand against himself, when he has known all along about his goings on, AND HAS PARTICIPATED IN THEM HIMSELF! Geeze Louise, who even reads what he posts? I mean, I don't come here all the time, and am not even here now. Does anyone else? I didn't think so...

[Joan of Argghh!]

I've fired myself just to piss off the chattering-class, tone-deaf, elitist me in a show of solidarity with the Midwestern Free Speech Advocates (MFer's) and the FlyOver Advocates for Disestablishmentarianism (FOADs).

Solid State, man.

[HeatherRadish]

FREE IOWAHAWK!!

With qualifying purchase of Boone's Farm, while supplies last. Offer void where prohibited; all taxes and fees responsibility of the consumer. Must be 21 or older and a legal resident of the United States.

[Porkov]

When will the apartheid end? I understand that not only a, but THE GREATEST ex-El-Presidente is consulting with him and will be there shortly to negotiate an equitable peace in which you will be required to abandon vast swaths of real estate to yourself.

[David Weisman]

I don't believe these ethics violations are being taken seriously enough. Given your lack of penitence, they might well be repeated if no action is taken. You should fire yourself immediately. Don't worry about having to pay unemployment - I've never heard of anyone having to pay themselves unemployment, plus you're probably an independent contractor as an excuse to pay yourself less than minimum wage.

[Eric]

Please keep me fired, just pay him under the table so he can receive 99 weeks of unemployment and get free healthcare.

Thanks!

[BHO BOSNOS]

Iowahawk acted stupidly.

Can we give Iowahawk a bailout, yes we can!

Fore!

[Will]

How the he!! did I ever get hooked on this website. Go ahead and fire your lazy a$$ so I can give it up.
No, no, wait...let me think about this. I'll get back to you after a bottle or two...of Thunderbird not Night Train.
Blind drunk, doesn't mean a blind drunk sycophant follower.

[kim]

Tim Blair, Tim Lambert, I used to get them mixed up. Maybe you did this time. That would explain the suspension. Look into it.
===================

[nickless]

This is not just abuse, it's self-abuse!

Join the movement to stop Iowahawk from abusing himself!

[Drew in MO]

Stand up for the rights of pork rind eaters everywhere!

[ussjimmycarter]

I've heard that Sarah Palin is taking your suspension of yourself very seriously. I would expect a visit from her very soon and if you can't get yourself to reason with yourself she will be forced to kick you firmly in the nads. Although, I suspect your nads have been completely like baked to raisin size since you are a bloggy geek type who probably keeps his laptop on his lap!

If your suspension continues much longer the Unemployment Office is going to get you a job with the TSA as a rectum examiner at your local airport. I would suggest you get serious about your negotiations! Some rectums are...well...that's just not right!

[Lester]

Hang in there Iowahawk! When the whole thing blows over you won't be able to take yourself for granted anymore!

[Big Al]

If I may be so bold to suggest that perhaps apologies are in order all around. I mean, this has gone on far too long and the effects are becoming more and more pronounced out in the blogosphere. Face it, the ramifacations now seem to far outweigh any damage done by your acts, and the public (me) is the real victim here. I'd suggest that you suck it up and be a man, promise you want violate yourself anymore, and welcome yourself back to work with open arms, letting bygones be bygones, and as a show of no hard feeling perhaps give yourself a raise, or at the very least some time off to recover from this trying experiance. In fact, it think the both of you should do something together. Take a trip. Go to a game. Go out for a steak dinner, and maybe drinks afterward. Something that would show the world your a team, and no little spat about silly rules and work ethic will tear you in two.

[Harry_Bergeron]

Looking to the future, how shall we avoid repeated, recursive recurrences of this senseless, solipsistic sophistry?

Will we always be subjected to random auto-suspensions, will-ye-nil-ye, at the whim of an obvious maniac?

Are we expected to stand idly by while innocent young bloggers from Australia go missing?

Steps must be taken; redress must be had; justice must be served!

My own sober assessment is that Iowahawk must stay suspended until these concerns are addressed.

[glenda]

Love me some Iowahawk! If you start taking the crazy world serious, read two iowahawk posts, drink, repeat! :)

[bingbing]

Well he did just release his memoirs. He's back.

But Blair's been on a bender since October.

And not that I've ever thought of strapping myself to a missile (because even with parity dollars, plane tickets are still expensive)... but if anyone would...

Know what I'm saying?

But maybe that's part of the plan.

But who's?

[spot_the_dog]

I blame George W Chimpy McHilterBurton.

And Tim Blair.

But mostly, Tim Blair. He's trouble, that boy.

[bingbing]

Can it be assumed that Iowahawk will categorically confirm and deny that it was he who strapped Blair to the missile?

And it could well likely end up that Detective Paco will investigate PACO Enterprises.

And then there's this.

"Bingbing nips any thoughts in the bud that James Board had anything to do with it.

I, for one, welcome this investigation however I categorically deny having a hand in the events that transpired prior to said investigation."

http://jamesboard.wordpress.com/2010/11/10/whodunnit-the-case-of-the-mystery-missile/

[bingbing]

Maybe that was Blair on the missile flying home.

[Bruce]

And what did you do with Blair anyway?

He seems to be awol.

[bingbing]

Paco has been a little quiet lately. And as if Detective Paco would investigate himself... unless.

I smell a rat.

[Waterhouse]

What exactly is that cat in the XCOR picture being trained for?

[Bill D. Cat]

Apparently you need some guidelines to deal with issues such as this . I suggest you unionize yourselves immediately .

[Just a Dad]

Dude - This was a perfect time man for that layoff crap. Take it all the way dude, 99 weeks + of unemployment! That’s like free money! Dude you can rock it, they don’t check what you spend it on, you don’t even need to start looking for a new job until week 98!

[BillCC]

In creating rules for your own suspension, you must simultaneously create rules for your own rehabilitation/reconciliation.
Suggestions:
1. grow a mullett
2. fire-engine red jumpsuit 24/7
3. crawl on hands and knees to Graceland
Other ideas?

[GeronL]

The only I remember about this article is "conservative lesbian"....

[TGSG]

I'm thinking maybe the Professional Association of Corporeal Onomatodeists has been influencing your decision to suspend yourself. I don't trust them either!

[RedandGearHead]

While sitting and thinking of our Contitutinal rights and the slow and unrelentless whittling away of those rights, I like to enjoy a few handfulls of Planters Redskin Spanish peanuts, made with Real Sea Salt. Though if I can't control the mess the skins make, the little woman says she's going to cut off all my rights including The Big One.

[lauraw]

It seems rather clear that this is just a personality conflict more than anything.
These fellows just don't get along and one of them is grasping at any reason to cut the other's/his own throat.

Hey Dave, you were right there when Iowahawk was doing all that stuff and you said nothing.

If you were so worried about him/you soiling your/his reputation, you/he could have said something then instead of pulling this passive-aggressive-dissociative-schizophrenic PUSSY move so many days later.

I'm going to drink whisky and chain-smoke Marlboro Lights until you/he reinstate him/yourself.

And FOR long afterwards, too. I'm THAT pissed off!

[J.M. Heinrichs]

Free Iowahawk??
... now he drops his price.

Cheers

[RW]

Was Iowahawk trying to win the carbon-derby with the missile launch?

[Chris]

"The landlord is mad at the tenant, and isn't speaking to myself, and even if they was, the neighbors would think I had took leave of our senses."
-Walt Kelly's 'Pogo'

[Phil Smith]

I'm throwing the Bullshit Flag. Iowahawk drinks Mogen-David 20-20, not Night Train. Only Iowahawk drinks Night Train, and then only when he can't find Sauterne. That last update is an effort to impersonate Iowahawk by Iowahawk!! What have you done with the real Iowahawk?!?!?

[SoupOrMan]

FREE THE IOWAHAWK 1!

[Ken Rusnak]

While prosecution of war crimes by the State of California et al would be a worthy pursuit, that very worthiness proves that it couldn't be the UN responsible.

[Sarah]

This is a very-serious charge, Iowahawk. I hope that everything works out in the end between you and yourself, but ground reports in my area indicate that the general public is furious. The Tea Partiers and liberals alike are starting to assemble at the local Wally World...the only place large enough to hold all three dozen of 'em in this town.

If I were you or yourself, I'd work on a very-big apology. A confetti cannon on scene would probably help.

[Karl Maher]

If I was still blogging, I would trackback this post.

[Joe Redfield]

There are more holes in your LA alibi than in a ton of Swiss Cheese. For example, there are no "Liquor stores" in Malibu, only Spirits Dispensaries. I suggest you come clean before you're forced to arrest yourself.

[MNAus]

OMG no, not my fav hot rodder and fellow Aussie Tim Blair. Say you are not responsible and all will be forgotten. You have faced your toughest critics and you are unsuspended. We are winners as of last Tuesday. It has been only a week, seems like I have been celebrating forever.

[aelfheld]

As a member of the disenfranchised Totino's® Pizza Rolls® and Thunderbird® community, I am suspending myself to express solidarity with your suspension of you.

[Mitch]

If that was your missile that was launched near Los Angeles, the Air Force would like a word with you at your earliest convenience.

[gonzo]

I'm just here for the free booze. Somebody said there was a

T
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P
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going on here.

[Blue Hen]

Perhaps the saddest part of this ill-considered decision is its impact. After all, who does this hurt most? Iowahawk. We can discuss the merits of this decision on the grounds of business savvy, or ethics, both of which are important and totally new where Iowahawk is concerned. And might that be the crux of the problem? Another, slightly smaller internet titan got into trouble of its own making when it found itself guilty of breaking its' own ethics code. Yes, Google, that perennial second place finisher for internet content has experienced the same turmoil that now plagues this foundation of the internet.

[Harry_Bergeron]

At least now we know who the new Worst Person In The World is.

I shall boycott myself, Rachel Madcow and FireDogLake in sympathy and solidarity.

[I R A Darth Aggie]

I'll support whoever will buy me booze. Preferably Val-U-Rite.

[smitty]

I, for one, decry the rampant sexism of boycotts and demand a girlcott. Or a girl on a cot.

[DS]

Iowahawk's right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.

[LTC John]

I am in http://miserabledonuts.blogspot.com/2010/11/free-speech-susension-outrage.html

The Legion of Dumb supports Iowahawk in his struggle with Dave Burge, the SOB!!!

[tim]

you're crazy. i'm pregnant, you're the father, and i'm gonna kill all three of us!

re-dis-un-suspend me RIGHT.THIS.INSTANT!

[Faffnir]

I have the solution to your problem! I have a fine selection of ethics, scruples and principles at very reasonable rates. I have ethics both new and used: the ones I got from Bill Clinton are available dirt cheap. For obvious reasons. Contact me at the email attached and I will FedEx your shiny new ethics immediately. Satisfaction Guaranteed or I'll replace your ethics with some from Charlie Rangel or Barney Frank at no additional charge!

[Conservativelez]

Dude! A Conservative Lesbian also joins you in solidarity: http://aconservativelesbian.com/2010/11/09/iowahawk-suspended-in-first-amendment-outrage/

[Christopher Johnson]

I demand the immediate reinstatement of Iowahawk and will boycott Iowahawk until such time as Iowahawk resinstates Iowahawk. I, on the other hand, think that Iowshawk's suspension of Iowahawk was entirely justified and back Iowahawk's suspension of Iowahawk 100%. Codes of ethics mean something and if Iowahawk doesn't understand that, Iowahawk deserved to get suspended by Iowahawk. Who does Iowahawk think he is anyway? Iowahawk?

[What?]

Iowahawk? Wasn't he some sort of blogger?

[hutch1200]

You should respect your AuuthORRRITAE'. You should look at all the wonderful, talented people you have brought to your blog. Well, ok, actually nobody will submit anything, let alone be seen in public w/you. But don't you understand where you would be w/o your guidance to the people that don't write on this blog w/o you? May I suggest that you inform yourself that unless this suspension is lifted poste-haste, you will take you, and your non-existant co-workers...and use your mad skillz on a chopper/bobber blog. Lets see what you say when you realize there is a whole new demographic to be served better by you, than you ever could!
In the meantime. How's about you throw us bikers a bone when you reach an amicable solution w/yourself. A bike pic from the Heartland on your next "rat show"? Too much to ask? Yeah I know, I'll ban myself for blasphemy.
Thanx, hutch, Prez, Cranium Fornicators Motorcycle Gang (and buffet killers).

[STL Hawkeye]

Although the suspension of IowaHawk (him) may be overwhelmingly disliked by IowaHawk (he). I think IowaHawk (him) should jam through the un-suspension by reconciliation without care for (he) or conversely waterboard (him) by beer at the Sports Column until (he) relents.

[smitty]

Comments on Iowahawk? This is as monumental as that one time Althouse subbed for Reynolds and allowed comments on InstaPundit! Shag the Tea:

T
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P
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!

[Cod Liver]

I think a Federal District judge should throw out your suspension and then reinstate the suspension based upon the Commerce clause because both the suspension and reinstatement deals with economic issues.

[Will Kamishlian]

My colleague Iowahawk was temporarily suspended from his job, because he took a few rides in a hot rod. Here at Iowahawk, there is a rule against riding in hot rods during an election cycle. I understand this rule. I understand what it means to break this rule.

But there is the larger issue here. Namely that Iowahawk encourages this type of behavior. We've seen Sean Hannity in his '34 Ford and O'Reilly tooling in his '51 chopped Bel Aire. And who could forget the disgusting cloud of smoke Sarah Palin left when she lit 'em up in her '77 Hemi Challenger?

Let this incident lay to rest forever the facile, never-true-anyway, bullpucky, lazy conflation of Iowahawk and what the rest of us do for a living. I know everybody likes to say, "Oh, that’s the blogs. It’s all the same." Iowahawk is a hot rod operation. We're not.

-Rachel Maddow

[mrmandias]

I demand something or other immediately!

[Col.]

I smell reparations...

[Veeshir]

This is crap, we all know Iowahawk.typepad has no ethics!

http://doubleplusundead.com/2010/11/09/iowa-v-hawk/
DPUD is with you Iowahawk!
But not you Iowahawk, for shame.

[Mustang II Lovers of America]

This is no less than you and your kind deserve for pilfering all of those Mustang II front-ends from the local scrap heaps, junkyards and impound lots. I demand satisfaction! This, however, will suffice.

[Charliefreak]

Isn't your job function one that would enable you to join SEIU. You should sic Andy Stern on yourself. That would teach your fat cat ass not to abuse your hard working self. Free Iowahawk from that Fascist Burge.

[aelfheld]

Kegger summit?

[Knitebane]

I'm putting myself forward as an intermediary in this dispute.

I propose that I, Iowahawk and Iowahawk drink beer until this dispute is settled.

Or until somebody passes out.

[Patty Robichaud]

I believe we should form a focus group and do an environmental impact study of what this suspension is doing to the planet and how it is perceived by liberal winos in Modesto, CA.

[MNHawk]

Stick up for your principles. Whatever you do, don't back down.

Not only that, demand restitution from yourself. I would think tickets to the Ohio State game should assure you that no principles have been compromised.

[Kate Stokes]

hm. once you are fully reinstated, you will most likely have to do an interview with geraldo so if i were you, i'd go sloooow.

[Joe Redfield]

I see you apparently ignored the mandate in the Healthcare Reform Colossus requiring all Americans to purchase suspension insurance. I suggest you immediately re-unsuspend yourself before the IRS comes around for a little chat, and then give me a call about our surprisingly affordable Suspension Insurance plans.

[Robert Harrison]

I demand that you immediately un-re-suspend yourself and place yourself on Double Secret Probation for the duration of the investigation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0cF2piwjYQ

[Jim Treacher]

I have already bought a frame for your "Statement to the Readers of Iowahawk." It will be hung in a place of honor, perhaps about the toilet.

[Pcbyers]

You need to double suspend yourself to avoid yourself reinstating yourself again. Or revoke yourself's powers of reinstatement.

[Bob Frost]

Big me has both the ethical and fiduciary responsibility to look at the big picture. I must reserve judgment until the his side of the story gets a full hearing.

[Russell]

Fire yourself. Ride your you around on a motorcycle. Replace your me with Kahane or T-Cod.

[Jenn of the Jungle]

Hmmmmm I sure hope your friends there at Iowa Hawk throw a party for you upon your un-suspension.

[Kenny Solomon]

In order to properly repair damages done, you need to take a road trip with 3,000 of your closest friends. How about going to a third-world country ? Make sure you and all of your bestest pals don't pay one thin dime for any single aspect of the vacation either. Send a note to your security detail that you may need a few ships to tail the group 'just because you want them to'.

[Joestrong]

I'm still not sure you've established that you are, in fact, your boss and therefore capable of suspending yourself. Until this question is adequately answered I would wonder if you wouldn't be free to post until the determination of whether or not you are or are not your own boss.
If you are not your own boss then who is?
And of course if you are your own boss than it is possible that you need to at least apologize to yourself, if not your readers - and frankly - we expected more of you. You are better than this.

[Anthony Bialy]

Pointing out what a horse's ass Olbermann is won't be the same until you release you from your suspension. You and your right-wing corporate interests are silencing your important voice for unbiased independence. I demand you free Iowahawk, Iowahawk!

[Rick Moore]

Fire his ass. He should get the same treatment Keith Olberdork got.

Oh wait...never mind.

[aelfheld]

Hang all the lawyers!

Oh, wait . . .