Connect the Dots

November 1, 2009: Northwestern University golfer Eric Chun, a native of South Korea, finishes second in the Asian Amateur Championship, earning a spot in the 2010 British Open.

November 3, 2009: South Korean human cloning scientist convicted of embezzlement scheme.

November 3, 2009: North Korea announces it possesses weapons-grade plutonium.

November 7, 2009: the previously undefeated #4 University of Iowa Hawkeye football team is defeated by the Northwestern Wildcats after Hawkeye QB Ricky Stanzi is sidelined with injury.

November 10, 2009: North and South Korean ships exchange fire after maritime territorial dispute.

November 10, 2009: President Obama announces a top-level diplomat will be dispatched to Pyongyang for direct talks.

November 14, 2009: Iowa, still without Stanzi, plays Ohio State for the Big 10 title and a spot in the Rose Bowl in Pasadena. They lose in overtime 27-24.

November 19, 2009: President Obama warns North Korea against further provocations.

November 26, 2009: In their final game without Stanzi, Iowa defeats Minnesota 12-0.

November 26, 2009: North Korean leader Kim Jong-Il announces a TV ban of the World Cup, unless North Korea wins.

December 6, 2009: Pasadena Rose Parade cancels invitation to North Korean Army Marching Band.

December 6, 2009: Iowa is officially invited to play in the Orange Bowl in Miami.

January 1, 2010: Ohio State defeats Oregon in Rose Bowl game.

January 5, 2010: With Stanzi, Iowa defeats Georgia Tech in Orange Bowl game. At the post game trophy presentation, Stanzi rallies American patriots:

January 21, 2010: Kim Jong-Il's secret military hideout is discovered.

January 26, 2010: All-girl South Korean pop group "Girls Generation" releases new video featuring scantily-clad girls provocatively, if inexplicably, kissing an Iowa Hawkeye football helmet. The video surpasses 1 million views in 3 days.

January 26, 2010: North and South Korea exchange artillery fire at sea border.

What the hell is going on here, people?! I WANT ANSWERS!!

Comments are open for your theories, explanations, predictions and further relevant data.

Comments

[setnaffa]

I think the answer may be in "Soy" and "Pork" futures... "The Iowa Connection" might involve Korean Bean Paste (된장), and a particularly addicting form of tabletop barbecue that combines delicious pork with social eating habits (삼겹살).

Iowa also has a lot of the same "family values" culture as Korea. And they have a lot of the same weather. In fact there have been Koreans "infiltrating" Iowa for decades. And vice-versa...

[Ohiowa]

@hawkeye.. ummm Woody Hayes is looking over a map of South Vietnam not North Korea. The giveaway is in the title of the map where it says "South Vietnam".

Do not slander Coach Hayes... or his ghost will punch you in face.

[Grant Mazzy]

Well, Norman Mailer, he had an interesting theory that he used to explain the strange coincidences in the aftermath of the JFK assasination. In the wake of huge events, after them and before them, physical details they spasm for a moment; they sort of unlock and when they come back into focus they suddenly coincide in a weird way. Street names and birthdates and middle names, all kind of superfluous things appear related to eachother. It's a ripple effect. So, what does it mean? Well... it means something's going to happen. Something big. But then, something's always about to happen.

[SNSDFan]

And how the hell did this make the news???

Only some random hawk fan would notice!!!???!?!

I go to the U of I and a SNSD fan and I didn't even notice til the local new mention it!

[SNSD Fan and Iowa Hawks Fan]

THIS IS SO STUPID! PEOPLE READ TOO MUCH INTO IT!!!! THE SCENE DIRECTOR WANTED A FOOTBALL THEME, AND THEY PROBABLY GOT THIS HELMET AT SOME RANDOM PLACE IN EBAY!!!!! DDDDDDDDDDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I BET SNSD IS NOW GETTING SO MUCH PUBLICITY FOR THIS!!!

[Dr. D]

This is easy, but you need to be across the symbols of the region.

Internationally, the most widely recognised symbol of US support for South Korea is the loveable Hawkeye from M.A.S.H.

In kissing the helmet, Girls’ Generation are showing the relationship between them and “Hawkeye”.

Stanzi represents the big artillery that “Hawkeye” brings out for the big battles.

The use of the most recent Orange Bowl is a reference to the most recent confrontation Hawkeye (the US) had in the region. That last confrontation was World War II.

You’ll notice that the gals from Girls’ Generation are wearing the numbers 32, 24, 21, 12, 9, 22, 0 and 7. In longitude and latitude terms, they are the exact release coordinates (32 24 21; 129 22 07) of the last atomic weapon that was used in war time - on Nagasaki.

It’s complicated to non-Koreans, but basically it’s saying: if you invite us to play, our team will be dumping Stanzi on you.

[Mike]

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=25486892512

Is that Wooten player at Northwestern tied to this group?

[Bill D. Cat]

Treacher was getting close , look what they did to him .

[Bill D. Cat]

Hmmmmm ........ Treachers name must set off the spam filters .

[Penfold]

So, the Girls' Generation members are not OSU grads or fans? Figures, no hairy armpits.

[twitter.com/dibutler]

This begs for a hockey stick graph. Or at least a pie chart.

[HAL]

Fearless Leader:
Here is a better representation of G Tech
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NKa0F788T0

[LTC John]

North Korean instability can be directly traced to the efforts of secret freedom fighters of the Hayden Fry Liberation Front?

[Patrick Sennett]

It's all right there, I really don't know why you don't see it. The blonde girl in the video, fondling the helmet (no, that's not code for something) is Choumi Yank Dong, the great-granddaughter of Kim Jong-il, and is an internationally ranked baton twirler and dancer (Choumi, not Kim). Although still in grade/elementary school (or glade skool as they say there), she has aspirations to be the Golden Girl for the Hawkeyes. This is simply an attempt to poison the well, so to speak, like the theatres putting subliminal messages into movies (flashing "BUY COKE, YOU CRACKHEADS!!1!!" up for milliseconds.

It's all so clear to me now...

[fluke_boy]

I laugh at all your feeble intellectualizings. Clearly FSU or Miami WILL. RULE. ALL!

Muahahahahahahaha...

PBR anyone?

[I Like Football]

Coming from a football-watchin' and Korean-speakin' American, I can tell you with full confidence that the youngest of these girls is 18, and they are all very much legal. You neither need to carry a guilty conscience nor worry about Chris Hansen surprising you in your kitchen. They just never physically age...which is just grrr-eat.
I don't know why I didn't notice such hot Asian girls before. I guess I just met ugly ones throughout my life.

[kevin barry]

I believe all of this was predicted by the Mayans. Buy the t-shirt today!

[SFBadger]

I can't decide who is cuter: Kimchee Spice or Daewoo Spice.

[Wedge]

Hayzoos Christo, it all makes sense now. The North Korea-OSU axis of evil must be smashed! And the Wonder Gir... I mean "Girls' Generation," are just the ones to take on Little Elvis up north. What hardened, if very skinny and foreshortened, North Korean soldier "oppa" could resist?

[Rightnews]

Stop bragging about the one flukey successful Hawkeye season. They'll be back to being the punching bag for the big ten this year. Then, the South Korean girls pop group will go back to kissing the Illini helmet as destined.

[E. Azlant]

Responding to the growing furor over the reported kidnap of Writers’ Workshop faculty, Secretary Clinton today moved to freeze Kim Jung-il’s import of gourmet runzas.

[Lazarus Long]

It's obvious:

Kim Jong-Il is ronrey.

[The See-er]

so the SOUTH KOREAN from NORTHWESTERN university gets a spot in the BRITISH open and 6(count 'em--6)days later the NORTHWESTERN wildcats defeat IOWA, then a SOUTH KOREAN chick kisses an IOWA football helmet, then BARACK OBAMA wants to reorder the ncaa football schedule. all the other stuff in between is just for distracting the less observant. NOW I SEE IT!!!!

[Tman]

North Korea is to Iowa as Chavez is to SDSU. One day...........

[Hocking Hick]

Kim Jong-Il 2 - and Kim Jong Il 1 for that matter - are both easier to get information out of than The Vest.

[Roman Polanksi]

I guess you could call Girls Generation cute if you like older women.

[toad]

One of the teenage S.Korean girls that I'm sponsoring flunked her mid terms in the last term of 2009. If this goes on she'll need another year to graduate. She was doing OK until then. What's the connection that is going make it necessary for me to sponsor her for another year. I need that $26 for porn. I'm in Dallas so I just know it has something to do with Iowa.

[Christopher Calandro]

Looking forward to the book version once Mr. Burge gets a handle on the data.

[Fearless Leader]

I agree-

How could anyone ever look at a Korean girlie Iowahawk flicks instead of watching these beautiful Virtuous Georgia Tech Southern Women riding on an American made 1932 Ford Coup?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8B2hUFiwDXk&NR=1

(go to 1:15 seconds in film)

And also...

we should have won the Iowa game and that war of Northern Aggression.

PS:
(even though Georgia is a Southern State,
their Univ. of Georgia sucks.)

[JanniGogo]

Is this a screening for this position?
http://ks111.moore.hawaii.edu/wp/?p=716, the University of Iowa Korean Studies Position.

[Mo Cheese]

I once was overserved at a bar in Iowa by a Korean Barmaid.

[Just_A_Grunt]

The answer is obvious. Bench Stanzi, rhymes with Nazi anyway, especially if they ever play my beloved Ramblin Wreck again. Besides I thought you would at least side with the team that has a cool car instead of the one with bird.

If Iowa persists in provoking the Dear Leader I suspect a strongly worded reprimand from the UN is on the way with possible NCAA sanctions.

[Doc Weasel]

I think it's something to do with antipodes.

[K.Bowman]

What if Eric Chun didn't really finish second in the Asian Amateur Championship? What if Chun was just a stooge? We're through the looking-glass here, people... white is black and black is white, buckeyes are hawkeyes...Everything is seemingly spinning out of control

[Tex Taylor]

I'd always suspected Kim Jong Il of being the Ohio State Buckeye mascot. The shape of the head was a dead giveaway.

[Dan Collins]

Iowa City is a non-nuclear weapons zone.

You get my drift.

[alphonse]

Man, that is very suspicious. I've never seen anyone lay it out like that.

[Gregory Walker]

Did you ever notice that Bobby Knight and Fidel Castro look exactly alike?

[Claude Hopper]

Bush did it!
Bush diddled it?

[SoupOrMan]

The other other Iowa university? I thought that Northern Iowa was the University That Shall Not Be Named, or if you're a Southern Illinois alumnus, the University That Shall Be Called Bad Things On A Regular Basis.

[Snarky Basterd]

IT WAS BUSH'S FAULT!

[Tommy Gunn]

It's obvious sir. On 23Jan I boarded a flight from ATL to ORD that pushed back at precisely 2100. In the 15th row seated accross the aisle from each other were gentlemen wearing Iowa and Wisconsin t-shirts. The Captain on this flight was Korean. Now do you see?

[hawkeye]

http://www.wosu.org/archive/woody/images.php?slides=military&img=4

Above is a picture of Woody Hayes looking at a map of North Korea during the war.

Now that we know who built Kim Jong-Il's secret military hideout,
we can also guess that Woody Hays was part of this North Korean Plot and cover up to destroy Iowas chances for the BCS crown...

I shall also discover his connection with the NORK'S WMD.

[MNHawk]

It's obvious they're celebrating Clayborn coming back for his senior season. The world celebrates.

[Fearless Leader]

There is a college in Iowa that has a football team? News to me.

Posted by: dndrko | February 02, 2010 at 07:59 PM ......................................................

If that team was not from Iowa.

Then who the hell raped my Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets?

And mocked our Southern Women's Virtues?

[Stergeye]

I've noticed that you never see Kim Jong Il and Jim Tressel in the same photo. MORE THAN COINCIDENCE?!?!?!

[Terry_Jim]

These dots WILL be connected.
Right now, DHS Napolitano is on the case,linking these dots that are securely tattooed on her inner eyelids.

http://www.cristyli.com/?p=5336

[sylvacoer_irencarr]

And, yes, the Koreans have their answer to Morning Musume - awesome! I think I like their style more, though I did wonder about them talking about their "older brothers"... only to find that the term "oppa" has become almost the equivalent of "senpai"/"nii-san" in regards to older men. ^^;

As to why they chose that particular helmet - dollars to donuts, someone on the production crew has a secret love of the Iowa Hawkeyes. :3

[Hocking Hick]

Evidence that we need another remake of "The Longest Yard". Only with Girls Generation as the prisoners. Or the Guards. Or both.

[dndrko]

There is a college in Iowa that has a football team? News to me.

[sTevo]

lack of cheerleader coverage has led the hawk to take notice of slender Korean girls.

[hawkeye]

How do you spot an Ohio State Buckeye fan?

He is usually the biggest 16 year old in a fifth grade class.

[Orlin Bowman]

So you want answers eh...well if you play Girls Generation back wards at .666 speed and slam down 5 shots of Markers and....I forgot what I was doing.

[dahozho]

Nah. If Iowa was a NK satellite, would we have such culinary delights as MaidRites, Mary K fries, The Hill Pizza, Harris Pizza, or other such indulgences?

No.

If we were a NK satellite, you'd see a lot more grass and twigs on people's plates. And no Blue Bunny Ice cream. Or the Iowa State Fair.

I still argue for a world domination plot by UI teams (except for the wrestlers, who get beaten by the OTHER Iowa university on a regular basis).

[Cod Liver]

I suspect Iowa is reality a North Korean satellite province. Buried under the football field you will find the Kim Jong-Il's real military HQ.

[iowahawk]

Additional data:

Iowahawk's father was stationed in Korea, 1956-7.
Korean car maker Kia recently opened a plant in Georgia... home of Georgia Tech.
Iowahawk buys his booze from a Korean liquor store.

[GreenBlade]

I was watching the Hawkeye's men's basketball team on television getting blown away by Michigan. My niece asked me to turn the sound down because she was writing a book report on "To Kill A Mockingbird", the movie version of which starred Gregory Peck who also portrayed General Douglas MacArthur on film. This would be the same General MacArthur who was replaced as Commander of UN forces during the Korean War for getting all "uppity" with President Truman.

Coincidence? I think not!

[jimbo]

"Hawkeye" Pierce, television's most famous fictional Korean War veteran. I mean, the character was fictional, not the war. That was real. Except the TV depiction of the war, I guess, was fictional, because I'm sure it didn't alway happen that way.

So just to recap: fictional "Hawkeye", real Korean War, fake depiction, Girls' Generation...

Wait, what the hell was the point of all this again?

[Jim P]

Don't reckon I've ever been to either Iowa or Ohio so I don't know what the fuss is all about. I think we all need to look at the bigger picture.

I'm not talking about aliens building pyramids. Instead, I'm referring to playing that video on a wide-screen television. Now where's that monitor attachment thingie...?

[Gregory Walker]

Why are you wasting so much time on this when you should be investigating the Links between Purdue soccer and Hugo Chavez??????

[Will Stevens]

Woody Hayes is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I've ever known in my life.

[MarkoMancuso]

Fearless Leader,

The Big Ten* went 4-0 against Southern teams. In games played in the South. Fool.

* We banished Northwestern

[Fearless Leader]

Iowas Brutal Muscular drubbing of my Glorified Southern Georgia Tech reminded me of Gen. Sherman's infamous march to the sea.

Our poor injured Yellow Jackets were un-Chivalrously abused, play after defensive play,
and our Virtuous Southern women were mocked.

How dare you Northern Midwest carpetbaggers do something like that to our poor starved blockaded peanut farmers sons,
and you knew all along that you had North Korean, Ohio sanctioned, nuclear weapons of mass destruction?

How could we possible win?

This is unforgivable!

[Fearless Leader]

I agree-

The dancing Korean girls do take my mind off the BCS wars.

But is this the continued violation of the human rights and fundamental freedoms of women, in particular trafficking of women for prostitution, dancing, or forced marriage?

official statement from the US State Dept.
(dancing inserted)

[Fearless Leader]

We Southern Boys now control the BCS football playoffs.

Texas, Alabama, ?Florida.

Your Northern and Midwest conspiracy's and domination of football will no longer be tolerated.

Now we find out that even North Korean Nukes were part of this football war.

Have you no shame?

The South will rise again (shit floats) and you will never see another BCS trophy in Ohio or Iowa.

[Tim]

Those are some cutie pies there. What was the question?

[Cooper Rutz]

It is plain to see that Kim Jong Il wants to become the next quarterback for the Iowa Hawkeyes. Maybe then the Hawkeyes can become National Champions (of North Korea)

[brad essex]

I figured it out the end part that their north Korean Ohio state loving doppelgangers.

[Ronsonic]

Aw hell, I don't understand any of this. All I know is the Korean girls are weapons-grade cute.

Maybe there's a plan to induce all those Chinese boys who can't get a date to invade North Korea to get at the video girls.

[Sean]

I have no clue what the hell is going on. But I can say unequivocally that I'm on the side of the scantily-clad Korean babes.

[Drang]

as a Native Wolverine who spent 20 years as a Korean Peninsula Cold warrior, it comes as no surprise to me at all that Woody Hayes and Kim Il Sung were in cahoots.

[snakesavage]

are you sure those girls are of legal age? i'd like to see their birth certificates!---WHOOPS! i forgot that question is "persona non grata" now! don't turn me in guys!

[Jean]

No doubt there is some negotiations taking place between representatives from Kim Jong II and mayors of Midwestern college towns. After all, the cultures are so similar:

* kimchee:lutefisk
* potential nuclear disaster:the OTHER hot rods of wrath
* experiments with human genetic material: the denizens of Iowahawk's own Lakewood Mobile Home Court

[Bob Commings]

Liberty, freedom, and Iowa: good.

Slavery, tyranny and Ohio State: bad

[Vicodumb]

And I thought that I was the only one who noticed an ominous trend here.

[F.X. Lauterbur]

Kirk Ferentz, or someone on his staff, is a genius at product placement.

Also, Kim Jong Il is a typical Buckeye fan, except that he is using his authority as a tyrannical dicator to gratify his maniacal allegiance to OSU (but I repeat myself) by engaging in an elaborate plot to thwart the success of the Hawkeyes.

[Tex Lovera]

I attribute your seeming paranoia to certain substances.

Remember, Hawkster:

Meth & moonshine don't mix. Especially with Tasers.

[Radishthegreat]

I like the cut of Dave Himrich's jib and would like to subscribe to his newsletter.

I would further like to point out that Iowa City outlawed nuclear weapons in 1985, so there's really no point for Kim Jong Il to poke around, other than the students love him. ;)

[mojo]

Girl's Generation: Uh-oh, EVIL TWIN trouble!

The mind boggles.

[USMC Chris]

iowahawk,

first time caller, long time reader.

i just wanted to chime in here and tell you that for some reason, this is the post that has tipped me over the edge and has declared you the most entertaining and hilarious web log site on the entire information superhighway. i don't know why it was this particular post, but i guess it was the proverbial feather that broke the gorilla's back.

[Buffoon]

What is this Ohio you speak of?

[Dave Himrich]

I think we are seeing a case of mistaken identity or perhaps an attempt to curry favor with the OTHER other university in Iowa, the one with the Manhattan Project legacy. Though the Korean nymphets in the video fondle a Hawkeye helmet, the players who briefly appear seem to be wearing Cardinal and Gold. Perhaps the Hawks' tribulations are some kind of inducement for information on/access to the long-dormant and possibly now nonexistent reactor in West Ames. Think about it: who is more useful to an insane, nuke-crazed dictator? A bunch of LGBT Studies majors and some creative writers, or thousands of engineers, potentially very interested in fit Korean girls who are presumably of legal age?

[Joe Redfield]

You fools, it's global warmi...er, climate cha...no...what are we calling it this week, oh yeah, ocean acidification! Either that, or Bush did it.

[Bill Shears]

Wheels within wheels. Need Nimoy to explain it all. Cliffhanger at the end of that video. Those girls have tapped into something.

[Joe W]

I'm stumped. Almost like a dog watching TV. I know something is going on in there. It's just a bit beyond my understanding.

Like watching a State of the Union Address. With better music.

[brad essex]

Korean girls like iowa football?

[Phineas]

It's simple. Ohio State is obviously a Stalinist front group secretly serving Dear Leader. If you look carefully, you can find him peeking out from under the bleachers at Buckeye games.

The Hawkeyes, on the other hand, are glorious freedom fighters beloved of Korean all-girl bands, everywhere. That's why you can order kimchi with your fries at all home games.

[dahozho]

Well, for those of us who attended the "other" Iowa university, its very simple. (No, NOT ISU. The OTHER Iowa university.) We've known for years that the Hawkeyes have been working, very quietly, towards domination of the Korean peninsula, that subtle backdoor into China and seize the university clothing manufacturing infrastructure to brainwash the entire USA into becoming Hawkeye fans and *demanding* that any official Rose Bowl contain the Hawkeyes. Through a clever combination of sports and fluffy pastel videos featuring large muscular young men and petite Korean women (usually in that order), they will bring down the tryanny of Kim Jong Il and obtain a permanent Rose Bowl berth. Bwahahahaha!

Or something along these lines. Last week I saw Hawkeye clothing in a Starbuck's and a Chipotle in Dupont Circle, DC. I think I'm on to something...nah, probably just too much espresso. heh.

[iowahawk]

It's like the Matrix. Instead of red pills and blue pills, it's kimchee and pork tenderloins.

[Blackash]

It's obvious a cosmic wormhole exists between Iowa City and South Korea.

[Danny]

I LOVE Girl's Generation! And Wonder Girls!