Let the carbonating begin! This post will updated frequently with newest stuff at the top, so keep on checking back in for more crazy climate cookers. If you'd like to see your own vehicle featured, send it to the email link to your left along with a pithy description. Onward, through the CO2 fog!
Update Note: in the interest of pageload speed, I added an extended entry break. Hit "continue reading" at the bottom of the visible post for more carbony goodness... If You Dare.
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Update: When planet-destroying bloodthirsty capitalists need a discreet and speedy lift to various cabal potlucks and secret oppression conferences, one Iowahawk reader stands at the ready. This reader -- let's call him/her "Pilot X" -- wishes to remain anonymous as not to attract the attention of the various international governmental bluenoses. Still, Pilot X is right proud of his/her hooptie, this fabulous Canadian-made Bombardier luxury jet. Pilot X notes:
"I celebrated earth day by schlepping 4 Texans and their golf clubs to Cabo, running up a good 1000 gallon bar tab at the big MILF's hydrocarbon bar."
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Update: My Michigan pal (and member of the Council of Automotive Advisors) Dave Shuten sends along two of his latest projects, his '59 Impala kustom and the Dan Woods Milk Truck resto...
"Mike Brim, who wrote the story in Rod & Kulture, was was contact by this guy Rich, who was a friend of Forest Cutler in Rapid City SD who built the car and sent these pics. On the back he wrote:
(OUT DOOR SHOTS)
Counts Car Club 2nd Annual Car Show, AUG. 26 1962, Rapid City SD
(INDOOR SHOTS) Counts Club Show, AUG. 26 1962, Rapid City Auditorium AUG 1965
"Here's the car now..."
The Milk Truck, originally built by Dan Woods of Paramount CA in 1965 when he was a high school senior. Recently restored for owner Larry Tarantolo.
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Update: Our second Shovelhead chopper from Alabama comes from Bobby Jones, who reminisces about the one that got away:
"This a photo of me and my 1968 HD Shovelhead about 30 years ago. Back in my wild and crazy days. I built it in the spare bedroom over the winter, then had to take it apart to get it out of the house. When I bought it, all I got was several cardboard boxes of parts. The only thing that was still together was the 6 volt generator. Rode it for several years then sold it after my son was born because I figured I needed to stay around and raise him right. Must have been a good decision, he served two tours(the last one voluntarily) in Iraq with the USMC. Three days after I sold it, it burned to the ground in a Waffle House parking lot in Rome, Ga. The carb always leaked a little."
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Update: Who says Earth Week cruisers don't enjoy a majestic natural wildlife vista? Behold the Ansel Adams paradise of my buddy Drew's parts yard. In order, 1955 Pink Eldo, '54 Studebaker Commander 2-door wagon, '59 El Camino, '54 Ford Ranch Wagon, '57 Chebby 2-dr sedan, and a Discoriffic '71 Econoline Shaggin' Wagon. Don't come a-knockin' if the van is a-rockin'!
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Update: Floridian Kevin Kennedy (no relation to the Hyannisport ones, or so I assume) says you don't need big cubes and insane horsepower to cook the climate:
"Here it is... a totaly unrestored, original Ford 200ci in my '65 Mustang coupe. The carb leaks vapors upwards and fuel down, years of running on unleaded have cracked the rings, valves, etc. No catastrophic converter, and the crankcase vents to atmosphere. It's a hybrid of sorts-it burns gas and oil: in the summer it's a gas/oil/steam hybrid!"
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Update: Ahoy mateys! Florida eco-pirate Chris "Blackbeard" Johnson carbonates the high seas in this tasty old-school tub:
"This is Rosie, my '46 Matthews. Originally, she was powered with KerMath Sea Chief Specials that were, as best I can tell, flathead 8s. Contrary opinions are appreciated. Now she has 1974 straight 6 Volvo diesels that are, in my opinion, the worst motors I have ever turned a wrench on. That's not just an off-hand opinion, as I have been maintaining these anchors, disguised as motors, since I was 16. On their best day, cleanest fuel, newest injectors, they purr along, smoking like a 3-acre fire. As an added bonus, they dribble just enough unburnt fuel from the exhaust to leave delightful rainbows at your stern.
I want to repower her and go back to unsafe and inefficient gasoline, and I would like to consider big-block V-8s, but she's a narrow boat, so maybe straight-8s are needed. Anybody have some straight-8s lying about, looking for a good home?"
I'll look in my parts stash for a Buick Fireball Chris. In the meantime, why not have the Professor fab one out of coconuts?
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Update: Robert Kuhn likes to get down 'n' dirty with Mother Earth:
"A couple of pics of my vehicles that appreciate the ultimate MILF... Man, do I love the sweet, smell of unburned hydrocarbons escaping from the tailpipes."
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Update: Another one from Cap'n Victory in Houston:
"It is with great pleasure that I introduce my secretary Julie's 2006 GTO, in all its Texas-Longhorn-burnt-orange glory. This car is living proof that EPA standards are no match for good old American ingenuity [ed. n�ote: credit where credit is due! The neo-Goat is actually a rebadged version of the Australian Holden Monaro, tho it does feature a Yankee-made mill]. Ever the overachiever, Julie tells me that this bone-stock groundpounder "eats gas like no other" -- at least the way she drives it. It's not idle chit-chat, either; Julie has facts to support her bold claims.
For example, this gassy Goat has an engine that -- in this day of the Prius and the Peapod -- can only be described as deliciously excessive for a daily driver. The V8 mill boasts six liters, 400 hp, and four massive valves per cylinder to ensure maximum fossil-fuel depletion. It does 0-60 in a neck-snapping 4.74 seconds. And don't tell the local constabulary, but Julie has punished the atmosphere by muscling the speedo up to 138. So, aside from all the carbon monoxide, Julie has littered the roads with plenty of spent rubber too. Call it her little gift to Mother Nature.
But you know, Julie doesn't stop at adding a little spice to the air we breathe. She has also been known to contribute to Houston's ambiance by cranking out impossibly loud boogie-woogie-style music -- AC/DC, Tantric, the good stuff.
In conclusion, this is one woman (and vehicle) against whom Mother Earth stands no chance. Gaia had better run for cover if she hears Julie's theme song for this week -- a slightly edited version of Ronny & the Daytonas' classic '64 hit "G.T.O.":
Gonna save all my money and buy a GTO
Get a helmet and a roll bar and I'll be ready to go
Take it out on Gaia's punk ass and let her know
That I'm the coolest thing around
Mother Earth, gonna shut you down
When I turn it on, wind it up, blow it out GTO
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Update: Speaking of Turbonique, etc., roll your rig down to your friendly neighborhood Barnes & Noble, Borders, or Wal Mart and pick up the brand-spanking new issue of Garage Magazine #18. In same you will find my story on the late great Zach Reynolds, the wild hillbilly tobacco zillionaire and pilot of the greatest street racing car of all time -- the mighty rocket-powered 'Tobacco King' '64 Galaxie. As a bonus, an '80s-themed cover featuring the lovely Miss Carrie Keagan draped over Billy Gibbons' iconic "ZZ Top Eliminator" coupe.
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Update: What can one say about Hugh Whited? Gentleman, philosopher, Carolina bean farmer, prodigious engineer, Hugh worked closely with Turbonique founder Gene Middlebrooks to create some of the craziest speed equipment ever to see American drag strips. And I am proud to call him a friend. Hugh's innovation continues to this day, as his Virtual Cruise entry shows. Instead of filling up his truck at the pump, he goes for crude oil straight from the well:
Being off the farm I'm sure you'll recognize the "containers" as recycled herbicide jugs. Hence, I measure my fuel consumption in "miles per jug." Or a "two jug trip," "five jug trip," and so on. On a level stretch of I-94 (west bound), constant speed of 100 km/hr and with a slight tail wind the truck traveled 218 miles on two jugs. For reference; a 2 1/2 gallon herbicide jug, when filled to the top will hold 3 US gallons, plus or minus an ounce.
The tank in the bed was used to retrieve a small amount of Canadian crude I'd had been asked to evaluate. Not having appropriate identification and at odds with Customs and Immigration getting across the border required an "indirect" approach. But with the help of farmers on both sides I went and came unmolested.
The Canadian "stuff" was great fuel and I wandered around so much on that by the time I got back to the farm I'd consumed most of it and had to make a second trip. But I feel I met my CO2 production quota. Speaking of such I claim to have the lowest "grams of CO2/mile" cost of anything on the road. Or off the road!
I've always wanted to try North Slope oil and might make a run this summer. That is, if I can get through Canada."
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Update: My trusty agent Lynn Chu lives in the crowded confines of Chelsea, Manhattan, USA, where keeping a large automobile is a tricky logistical proposition. Still, even she finds the Chrysler Peapod hard to take with a straight face:
"What’s next? The Bean Sprout?"
Quite so, Lynn. To paraphrase Simon and Garfunkel,
Where have you gone, Virgil Exner?
Our nation turns our lonely eyes to you...
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Update: Milt Clary likes cruisin' the Wild Blue Yonder:
"Since flying machines are allowed to be in the virtual cruise in, I nominate the F-15, although it’s not my ride anymore. But back when I was young & foolish, I had the privilege of flying 40 missions over Iraq in dreaded “E” model. Please don’t be impressed. My sorties were during Southern Watch, whose objective was to protect the Shites from the shinola the republican guard was trying to dish out around Basra. Anywho, the Eagle does indeed fight where others feared to fly and as you can see from the ‘happy snap’, it creates lots of heat, tons of noise and burns over a ton of fuel per minute in max burner! And, as an added bonus, there are still Americans that appreciate what we do in these kinds of war machines and enjoy the thunderous ‘sound of freedom’ that we blow out the back end."
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Update: Joachim (Joe) Klehe rolls snake eyes:
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Update: Houston's "Captain Victory" showed up at last year's cruise astride his Victory 1500 V-twin. This year he's favoring Teutonic iron:
"Guten Tag, Herr Iowahawk! Hier ist mein 1974 BMW 2002. Das ist gut, ja?
But since you're an oil-swilling American, I'll explain it in American. Behold my 1974 BMW 2002, which I owned until a few years ago. Now you might think that such a humble, German, 2.0-liter four-banger is easy on fuel consumption and generally eco-friendly. You'd be wrong, bitch!
As the second photo suggests, the engine was almost totally original. No fancy, efficient fuel injection here. This beastie had the original Weber carb, with a water choke that kept the mixture needlessly rich for a pointlessly long time. Then there's the rubber -- I swear most of the hoses were original. Which is excellent, because you know there were leaks in there somewhere. And of course the valve cover was painted red -- the opposite of green. All in all, this little baby managed to get less than 20 mpg. The little engine that could!
Still, 20 mpg doesn't quite satisfy. So to make up for its lack of tailpipe output, this sweet wagon had an aftermarket Behr A/C unit that leaked freon (yes, the illegal stuff) like Al Gore's anus."
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Update: Tarheel Bugman Freddie Badgett sends this vid of his son lifting 'em through the lights:
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Update: Joe of Undisclosed Location adds his scoots to this year's already impressive collection:
"One bike is a '78 GS1000E bored to 1086cc, cams, big smoothbore carbs, noisy exhaust, and as many Yosh Suzuki race parts as I could find. The other a BMW R1100S Light. Both smoke! when started cold and burn a little oil when ridden hard. Both will get 40 MPG if ridden like a Harley, but what's the fun in that - figure 36 MPG while having the recreational go-directly-to-jail speed fun we live for. And the BMW costs more in tires than it does in gas."
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Update: North Carolina reader Bob Morgan likes old school Mopar muscle:
"I took the old truck
(55 Dodge Power Wagon) out to celebrate; it’s only 235 cu in, but the
Carter “Ball and Ball” E7T2 carburetor results in a nice 1955
hydrocarbony exhaust!"
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Update: Another military hotrod from "cdat88":
"Not my old tank (pics of that lost in hurricane divorce) but truly a wonderful example of a one of the best Fossil Fuel Disposal Unit. 279 miles on 505 gallons with the NBC protection system on (289 turned with system off)
Hooah!
You ain't Cav, you ain't shit!"
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Update: Former flyboy "Arlo Guthrie" shares his Alabama big cube chopper featuring some crazy customizing items:
"Here's my current ride. It has a mere 2081cc engine and gets almost 30mpg. It's kick only, which saves on gas used to recharge the battery. Both brake lines have parts from an Advance Medium Range Air-to-Air Missile (AMRAAM) I shot back in '94. The seat pan came from an old sawdust shovel, and most of the sissy bar is recycled metal from two yazoo lawnmowers. The risers come from bar steel stock taken from a Farmall disk plow.
I realize my chop is VERY eco-friendly, but I included a picture of my old ride. I figure I puched around 2.68 million gallons of old dino juice out the nozzles of Pratt and Whitney J-79s over a 12 year period. Can I get an honorable mention for a lifetime achievement award?"
You betcha, Arlo - and thanks for your service!
You betcha, Arlo - and thanks for your service!
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Update: Chris Steinayer lives it up on six wheels, two at a time:
"I don’t have much room in my garage for a whole lot, but I do the best I can with my Triumph Speedmaster, with only 865cc of carbon producing fun, I removed all of the factory emissions junk, and put huge jets in the outdated, but motor head pure high carbon emitting carburetors, opened up the exhaust and installed K&N filters to let this thing of beauty breathe. I cruise on it as much as I can, and sometimes just let the engine run in my driveway while going no where to be sure to piss off mother nature.
Also, I spew as much oil and carbon smoke as possible with two old Japanese 2 stroke bikes. A 1972 Suzuki T500, and a 1970 Yamaha CS3. My goal is to get the earth so warm, there is no longer any winter in Michigan so I can ride all year long in comfort!"
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Update: Mike Bowen in New Hampshire knows how to Live-Free-Or-Die :
"here's my 1942 Ford GPW, a genuine GI jeep (half were amde by Ford, half by Willys). 4 cylinders, no catalytic converter, no PCV, uses leaded gas. I get about 15 miles to the gallon while I'm out trashing pristine woodlands, more on pavement. Also, a pic of what once was my ride, back in the mid-1980s: USS TRENTON, LPD-14. American Warship. Not only polluted the environment, but we could blow it up or send our Marines to shoot it. Great days."
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Update: We interrupt the vehicles for some housekeeping:
Howie from The Jawa Report writes to complain that the Canadian Engineering Marvel depicted in the bit from Scott Vitelli (see a couple updates down) is actually his discovery -- a slight which has prompted him to declare Blog War against Iowahawkistan:
"As you can clearly see by following the links here and here, Jawa Report clearly discovered the hot chick with the giant boobies way way before Iowa Hawk. In fact it was I, Howie, who used paint to add that awesome arrow thingy. Well that seems like a controversy enough for us and we hereby declare total and utter blog jihad on Iowa Hawk."
My sincere apologies to you, Howie, and I accept your demands. Make Carbon, Not War!
Angela de Rocha writes to comment on the Yukon mural in the post directly below this:
"I agree with your accurate characterization of Glen Burnie, MD. You nailed it. But I would like to provide some clarification about the painting on the back of that vehículo. The eagle snaring the snake and flying off with it, over an island, represents the Aztec story of the founding of Tenochtitlan, the Aztec capital at the site of what is now Mexico City. The Aztecs were a wandering tribe who arrived at the shores of Lake Texcoco in the 14th century. When they saw an eagle flying away with a captured serpent, they took this as a sign fulfilling a prophecy that they were to establish themselves there. They built a city on the island, established an empire and proceeded to bully, capture and sacrifice their neighbors. (The lake disappeared after the Spanish conquest and Mexico City today faces water shortages, plus problems with the fact that it is build on an unstable lake bed.) This vehículo and its adornment represent Mexican supremacy and determination to dominate. The paranoid among us would see this as a triumphal signal that Mexicans have taken over that part of Maryland. The eagle and the snake are the primary symbols on the Mexican flag to this day. I believe the disembodied head hovering over the right side of the screen to be a saint, which I am sadly unable to identify."
Thanks for the clarification, Angela, but the confusion was on the part of correspondent J. Ritterstein. As an honorary Mexican, I of course knew this.
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Update: Jason Ritterstein writes:
"If there is one word to describe Glen Burnie, MD, that word is almost certainly mulletacular. This mindblowing mural, lovingly pained on the back of an unnamed GM SUV, almost defies description. What are those Indians doing? Are they praying? Why is there an eagle attacking a snake whilst flying over a tiny, cactus-covered island? And whom might that hovering head in the upper right hand corner belong to? Is it Jesus? Questions were many. Answers were few."
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Update: for Scott Vitelli from the ATL, DIY is SOP:
"Hey Mange, I build rides on the side and have been working on this '96 T-bird from hell I call Goldbird for the past three+ years. I've done most of this build in a apartment garage, I'm 6'4/275 so it's not an easy task to do the do but she's almost done and quite badd ass if I do say so meself! Anyway, the car should be in the tens if she can hook and is just shy of 6 hundy at the rear…. I used a chunk of an old Explorer driveshaft to extend the jacked Z06 inlet piece for the blower."
"I also added some shots of another car I built called FRANKENCOUGIE... Plus a pic of the sears tower."
Editor's correction -- after studying that picture for a few hours, I believe that's the CN Tower.
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Update: Steve Duane from "The People's Unemployed Republic of Michigan" writes:
"Here's a a quaint little grocery getter (if your groceries happen to be in located in Baghdad). This brand new variant of the popular MRAP (Mine Resistant Ambush Protected) family of vehicles sports a Cat C13 kicking out 600hp when running on pansy low-sulfur diesel and only slightly less when running on sweet, Mid-East climate changing JP-8. Weighing in at 30 tons sans payload it gets Gaia-gagging single digit fuel economy. As patriotic taxpayers, technically we all own a part of these beautiful peacemakers. Just don't expect Uncle Sam to let you drive one to soccer practice."
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Update: My old hot rod buddy Fritz Schenck gives an update on his latest automotive endeavor -- restoring Ed "Big Daddy" Roth's MegaCycle, a/k/a Captain Pepi's Motorcycle and Zeppelin Repair...
"Hey Kids It's Martini Time!
"Captain Pepi & the Chopper will be restored back to their original paint & condition. Carrol snapped this pic of Pepi & me before we took the body off (see attached). There are a few spots on the underside of the body where there is still newspaper and plaster stuck up in places, LOL.
There wasn't much info on the Mega cycle in books or magazines. And even less on the motorcycle, After much research and lots of asking around I finally found one good color photo of the left side of the bike on the back of the truck at a California auto show from around 1967-68. It's hard enough to restore a vintage show rod with all it's hard to find vintage & one off hand made parts, but a vintage show bike / chopper is even harder, and a "Triumph" well... yer outta luck!!!!
Over the years it seems that any one that came within an arms length of the Mega Cycle took a little something off the truck & bike as a souvenir. The chopper was the hardest hit missing many, many hard to find specialty parts, but alas With help from my NYC buddy Greaser Mike a Triumph Super Genius it is well on it's way to a full resurrection."
"After that who knows ??????? In my stash of projects are Don Prichard's custom '57 Chevy, it's a 1963 Car Craft cover car, an Ed Roth VW trike, got a '29 ford coupe body, or maybe another bubble top! We'll keep ya posted."
What Fritz doesn't mention here is that this isn't his first dance with a Roth restoration. A few years back he restored Ed Roth's Dan Woods-designed Druid Princess, seen here at Fritz Manor.
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Update: J.M. Heinrichs asks:
"You do have a place for the North American Eagle?"
To which I reply an emphatic, 52,000 horsepower, 800 mile-per-hour yes!
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Update: From Qatar, the magical land of 21 cent gasoline, Jamie Honey writes:
"Happy Earthday! The photo explains itself."
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Update: Texan Paul Bubel is making the world better, one mod at a time.
"Not content with the already dismal gas mileage of the rolling brick with a 5.7 Liter HEMI Engine, I decided to give her a small lift and 32" tires. Hummer H2 gas mileage in a mid-size SUV package!"
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Update: Seoul-based Michael Woods fears neither Kim Jong-Il's missiles nor EPA fuel mileage ratings. Last year's cruise featured Michael's Aston Martin DB7 and Beemer M3 coupe, which turned out to be too miserly for his tastes:
"Hi David - I'm here again, referred by Tim Blair... This year, I'm still here in South Korea, and have unfortunately sold both of those fantastic vehicles, but my new stable still manages to fit 700 horses:
1) 2000 Ferrari 456M GTA - 5.4l V12, and average of around 5.6miles per gallon (42l/100kms).
2) 2003 Range Rover HSE - 4.4l V8, and nearly 5,500lbs (2,500kgs) of steel and getting around 7.8 MPG (30l/100kms)."
![img_186409_2[1]](https://farm4.static.flickr.com/3511/3465578252_498fab571f.jpg)
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Update: Always mysterious Harry Bergeron runs the numbers:
"30 MPG, if I let it. I never let it."
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Update: From Oregon engineer and Iowahawk drinkin' buddy Steve Carlson:
"Supermarine Spitfire AR501 of the Shuttleworth Collection at the Old Warden airfield in Bedfordshire, England. This picture was taken in 1999 during an air show I was fortunate enough to attend. The sound of the Rolls-Royce Merlin engine (27 litre V-12) is one of the sweetest you'll ever hear. The 100/150 fuel makes it tip-top in the carbon footprint department, too."
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Update: Alabammy Earth Cruise stalwart Fritz returns!
Dear Mr. Hawk, Greetings again from Alabama and the fabulous Wrongtool Workshop where our motto - well, our motto besides "If it don't fit, force it" - is "If it works right, screw with it some more" !
In keeping with our motto, the second one, actually both, we have brought back the fabulous The Taxi made more fabulous (not that kind of fabulous) by new paint in a shade polls state is 89% more obnoxious (95% CI = 84-92, p<.000001), many fibreglas bits, and some underhood tinkering. The first shot shows the fabulous The Taxi defoliating the forest at Barber through copious emissions of oxidized 112 leaded Sunoco.
This was made possible by the mucking about under the hood shown in the second pic where we got rid of the single Weber and added the dual side drafts (or side draughts for our English speaking friends) and a new Dr. Schrick cam the grind of which will remain secret unless someone reveals it. The important thing is that though it used to get about 8 mpg on the track, our calculations after running out of gas on the main straight at Putnam Park revealed that the new mileage is about 4.7. Clearly this demonstrates that shedding weight allows higher continuous speed, hence higher fuel consumption, therefore big, heavy, slow vehicles like Hummers, therefore, have to get increased mileage, so the eco-loonies should actually love them - or something like that - science is fun. Hard, but fun.
The picture of the "mill" also shows a roll of red "racer" tape, which is duct tape that costs a couple bucks more than regular duct tape because the letters r,a, c, e, and r are more expensive to print. The importance of the tape is that, knowing you are an admirer of fine custom auto coachbuilding, we thought we would share some of ours using the tape to create the custom mirror fairing in the last shot - please note the aeodynamic considerations. If any of your custom "hot-rod" pals need skilled craftsmen, we are waiting. We are not holding our breath, but we are waiting.
My partner says he will have some pictures, but you know how he is - keeps muttering something about "work", but I have no clue what he is on about."
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Update: from Aaron at Zenmervolt:
"Hi Dave, Here are my own carbon spewers. The exhaust, intake and custom computer tune for the bike are all race-only. Runs a trifle rich but great power. The Sporty shares garage space with a 944 Turbo (not pictured), also "lightly breathed on". And there's always the old 914, 2.0 litres of air-cooled, un-catalyzed goodness. As for the guy with the Sportster, that would be your truly. I don't emit greenhouse gasses. Unless I've had Mexican food."
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Update: Gee, our old LaSalle ran great... sez Nutmeg Stater Jim Hughes:
"Hi Dave, In celebration of Earth Day, here is a picture of our 1936 LaSalle (can't afford a Cadillac, the economy and all). It is a stocker and gets about 12- 14 miles per gallon of gas and about 250-300 miles per quart of oil. Drove it to Cherry Hill, NJ last summer from Eastern Connecticut for the Cadillac LaSalle Club Grand National, 250 miles each way.This Summer, we intend to drive the wheels off it before it is illegal to do so."
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Update: Howard Houston saves fuel by keeping all his trips close to home -- because he actually drives his house.
"The Land Leviathan: At 8.1 liters, the GM Vortec is the biggest gas RV engine made. Shown in MFC (Maximun Footprint Configuration), mileage is in the low 5mpgs and the carbon footprint is maximized. It has the added attraction of allowing mother to sit on the couch and look out the front window."
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Update - Kansas Cityite Bill Olsen explains:
"Attached are some pics of my 4000+ lbs 1995 Impala SS. I bought the car in 1996 and have used it as a daily driver ever since. In the spring of 2008 (gas prices were approaching $4.00 per gallon), with 160,000 miles on the odometer, I freshened up the old gal. Peach State Jim and Gary helped me replaced the original 260 hp, 350 cid engine with a 425 hp 383 cubic inch stump puller. The swap called for a beefier transmission and rear gears as well. Pro Street Transmission in Independence, MO got the call for the tranny and an Eaton 3:73 found its way into the rear end. As one might expect, there were upgrades to the exhaust, intake, fuel delivery and ignition systems as well.
During all this madness I may or may not have disabled pretty much all of the emission control devices on the car. I can say with reasonable certainty that I did install a set of high-flow catalytic converters. I can’t say exactly why, though. My hope is they really don’t do much of anything. It’s also quite possible that I flushed all of the fluids that oozed out of the car during the project right down the drain with a garden hose. Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t!
We finished the project in about five days and I’ve pretty much driven the car every day since. It gets less than 20mpg, the exhaust smells pretty bad and it makes a lot of noise. I intend to celebrate Earthday by executing a very smoky burnout."
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Update from Texan Karen Douglas:
"this R/T is about the sweetest thing. In the hill country of Texas, the roads are long and straight. This one makes point a to b go a little faster. I grew up in a body shop watching my dad put wrecked cars back together, and jumping from car to car in the wrecking yard out back."
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Update from Bob Caron:
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Update from Aussie reader Mick Haverfield:
"As I have always said, if you really want to change the climate, go big and go two stroke.
The Wartsila-Sulzer RTA96-C turbocharged two-stroke diesel engine is the most powerful and most efficient prime-mover in the world today. It is available in 6 through 14 cylinder versions, all are inline engines. These engines were designed primarily for very large container ships. Ship owners like a single engine/single propeller design and the new generation of larger container ships needed a bigger engine to propel them. The cylinder bore is just under 38" and the stroke is just over 98". Each cylinder displaces 111,143 cubic inches (1820 liters) and produces 7780 horsepower. Total displacement comes out to 1,556,002 cubic inches (25,480 liters) for the fourteen cylinder version.
Maximum power: 108,920 hp at 102 rpm
Maximum torque: 5,608,312 lb/ft at 102rpm
Fuel consumption at maximum power is 0.278 lbs per hp per hour (Brake Specific Fuel Consumption). Fuel consumption at maximum economy is 0.260 lbs/hp/hour. At maximum economy the engine exceeds 50% thermal efficiency. That is, more than 50% of the energy in the fuel in converted to motion. For comparison, most automotive and small aircraft engines have BSFC figures in the 0.40-0.60 lbs/hp/hr range and 25-30% thermal efficiency range. Even at its most efficient power setting, the big 14 consumes 1,660 gallons of heavy fuel oil per hour."
And perfect for powering a fresh boatload of Nissan Armadas to the good ol' USA! Unfortunately, Mick does not personally own this mill, and thus is ineligible for our Grand Prize. If you do own one of these babies let me know, because I can probably guarantee a top 10 finish.
Crankshaft assembly
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Update from Peter Sterne:
"I don’t have a particularly sweet ride, just a bone stock (except for tires) 2003 BMW 325i, but I thought some Iowahawk readers might appreciate this video from the Dubai Autodrome, where Mohammad Bin Sulayem, 14 time Middle East rally champion, driving a Renault F1 car in an acceleration demonstration against a Ford GT40, manages to put it into the wall before he gets to fourth gear. The F1 action starts about a minute in.
It’s good for Earth Day, because F1 cars are composed almost entirely of Carbon and so all that carbon sequestering will single-handedly save us from globAL GOREming, err, I mean global warming."
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Update from David N, a/k/a True Blue Sam:
"Engineering Johnson is going to a steam engine class next weekend to prepare for the end of the world as we know it."
And that's a stationary engine, so it gets zero mpg!
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Update from Joe in Jacksonville, FL:
"Hi Dave, I have updated my submission from a couple years ago when I last sent you pictures of my 1974 Pinzgauer. A couple key updates include the 24 volt 9,500 lb capacity Warn Winch mounted on a custom mount made by my buddy Bob. We were shooting for something that looked factory spec and we think its close. This photo was taken on the 4th of July as we prepared for the parade in Keystone Heights, Florida. You should know we got a three foot high real simulated red marble trophy for "Best ATV". I will further mention that we were located directly ahead of the guys in WWII Jeeps and they didn't get anything. So there."
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Update from veteran Earth Week cruiser and New York Britcar enthusiast Charles Glasser:
"It took me FOREVER but I finally tracked down the cool fibreglass front end for my Spitfire. Got rid of the bumper and steel valance under it, so shedded about 150 HP-robbing pounds, to boot! What do you think?"
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Update from J. Latino in New York:
"No, it's not my personal ride, but I thought you might appreciate the carbon footprint on this B-17 Flying Fortress. Westchester County Airport, Purchase, NY., Sept. 08. They sound good too."
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Update from Randian Montrealer Mike McLean:
"Here's a snap of my ride. Featuring a K&N air filter and a subversive licence plate frame that got them really agitated back at the home office in Trollhatten. Doesn't use a lot of gas so I took a job farther away."
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Update from Mike B., who likes to go green:
"My 1947 Buick; My 1953 Chevy Station Wagon and Shasta trailer."
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Update from Peach Stater Jim Cain:
"I have read with interest about your Earth Week efforts. I have a vehicle that may fit in with your motif. My 1969 Ford Torino GT convertible. Pulled from under some Georgia pine trees in 2004, this is now my random sunny day driver, when something doesn’t need replacing or upgrading.
All the suspension is, of course, new. Custom springs, naturally. The front suspension needed some particular attention, but things are much tighter than ’69 up there now. 4 wheel Wilwood discs? Yes indeed. Hydraboost for same? Why not. 414 stroker? Yes. 4R70W trans with electronic controls? Just try and stop me. 3.70 gears? Good for the planet! Custom interior, sewn to match the original patterns, as any civilized steward would choose.
Of course, all work (aside from shooting the paint) done in my carport, beer in hand. Safety first! Fuel mileage? No idea. I’ll assume the fuel gauge is wrong, or the tank leaks. Because it sure doesn’t seem to go far between visits to my local branch of Royal Dutch Shell.
I’ve got a literal crapton more pictures, should you have an interest.
Literally. A crapton. I’ve weighed ‘em."
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Update from Kevin Meyers:
"Burn out was done on 04/11/09 at BOB’S saloon in Roberts Louisiana. Bike is stock except for larger main jet. Fuel: 113 octane leaded VP racing fuel."
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Update from Coloradan Dave Shelton:
"Ok, so I don't have a jet engine strapped to the top or anything super cool like that. You ever try to get a part number for a Pratt & Whitney 6000 to 2001 Mustang conversion kit from your local Ford dealer? But the car meets your criteria of being: 1) mine, and 2) somewhat interesting in that it is one of 5582 Bullitt Mustangs built in 2001 and it has taken home 6 straight Excellence Awards at the Rocky Mountain Mustang Roundup in Steamboat Springs."
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Update from my buddy Aaron "Plowboy" Grote in Cerro Gordo, IL:
"Well, I got the Punk back yesterday from the winter tour. They wanted to deliver it where there was some concrete because there were a bunch of rolling cases behind my car that had to get moved and my gravel driveway wouldn't work too well. So, I had them drop it off at work.Here are some nifty pics you city folks might enjoy...my car siting at work surrounded by seedcorn and seed beans.
Of course I did the responsible thing while I was waiting on my buddy to come with my enclosed trailer after work....I drove it down to the bar with no plates and drank for FREE! It was quite a hit for a town with only 450 people in it. I think half of them showed up at the tavern...and many bought me beer. ha ha
They guy that delivered it about shit when it fired right up. He said "We have been pushing this thing around all winter and it actually RUNS? Do you know how many miles we pushed it?" Ha Ha
I will send out more evidence of abuse as the summer wears on.."
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Update from Mark S in Florida:
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Update: A heartwarming Earth Week video stolen from my carbon spewing Aussie mate Tim Blair: an F1 car doing donuts in the snow of an artificial indoor ski palace in the Dubai desert. *sniff*
As Tim says, "This is beautiful, somehow."
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Update From Marc Larose:
"16.1 MPG if I take it easy!!!"
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Update: A couple of gobstoppers from MMCS(SW) Jeffrey A Heileman:
"My last entry in your virtual cruise contest was several years ago when I was stationed on the USS Kitty Hawk. Unfortunately, the Navy has decommissioned the last fossil fuel fired aircraft carrier, and I now find myself at the Center for Naval Engineering training facility at Great Lakes teaching yutes the basics of propulsion machinery. Our campus is spread over several acres and is loaded with steam propulsion machinery, gas turbines, and diesel engines. So I guess these are virtual-virtual rides, since they don’t propel anything, and everything is wasted energy. Shaft output is directed to massive waterbrakes to simulate the load of propulsion shafting, and the cooling water is dumped into Lake Michigan for an extra slap at Mother Earth -- the Ultimate MILF™. For instance, here is a beautiful GM Electro-Motive Division (EMD) 645 12 cylinder, 9 1/16” bore with 10” stroke diesel trainer. She may be old technology, but she can still turn a few heads."
"This Alco 16 cylinder, 9" bore, 10 1/2" stroke diesel is more at home on locomotives, but also sees action on our Navy ships for power generation and can be used for propulsion as well."
"It is kind of sad working here though, as Congress has decided the budget doesn’t have enough money to fund both the thousands of gallons of baby oil for Barney Frank’s cabana boys and the diesel needed to fuel our machines, so most of our engines are now in a cold iron lay-up status. For instance, the 1200 psi steam plant is no longer operational and serves only as a static display for our students to see the inner workings."
"In the end, it seems as if Mother Earth is winning the battle, as the Navy moves away from fully operational equipment to computer based simulators. A good operator can tell when there is something wrong with the plant as soon as his foot hits the deckplates, just by the vibrations. This Fairbanks Morse diesel no longer runs, but the students can start, stop, and run the diesel. The computer system provides outputs to gauges and meters, and allows the instructor to introduce casualties to the system to test operator responses. A 200 watt sound system and massive JBL speakers provides the diesel engine noise, and some sole of the foot inputs, so hopefully the students get some knowledge from this training. I guess this could be a virtual-virtual-virtual ride?"
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Update: From Alabamian Paul Hergert:
"Ferrari 360 Modena F1 Spider. 400hp of carbon-spewing G-force that's extremely efficient at 8 mpg. A churning urn of burning funk. But, wait - that's not all! Thanks to an 800 watt sub-woofer, it can emit 125dB of noise pollution and destroy our fragile ecosystem at the same time! Could it get any better? Nah... Happy Earth Day!"
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Update: From U.S. Citizen at Traction Control:
Suitable for Framing … my 1967 Nitrous Nova. See this link: http://rickmance.com/67Nova.html … there’s cam-thumping video at the last picture!
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Update: From Dan S.:
At my work we had a discussion about an earth friendly company car. Some where concerned about the MPGs and others about the batteries of hybrids. This was my solution...
A 1985 Nissan Hard Body King Cab 2WD Pickup truck (see picture below). This little car will solve the strip mine problem and the MPG problem. The little battery in this sweet ride may have come from a strip mine long ago, but now there is a subdivision built right on top of that "eyesore" strip mine (yum, the water taste like sulfur there). Although this little truck may make you feel like driving it into a strip mine, the other benefits will keep this puppy close to home. For the MPGs, I can guarantee this will save miles! First, the humiliation factor will definitely make you park further away from your accounts and closer to home. And, if you think you can brave the humiliation then the guaranteed mechanical failure will cause you to invest in a good pair of sneakers.
The solar panel battery charger in the back window is not only there to class up the truck, but keep that truck cranking on a cold start morning and added bonus it is good for Mother Earth (Hey, just doing my part). With a glass pack installed, it might not have much of a punch...but it sure sounds like it! And yes, if you where wondering the fuel door is kept closed by a refrigerator magnet. The spare tire is in the back! Added bonus, for the management types this beauty is as easy on the corporate budget as it is on the eyes, $800 + $45 for tags and $65 for a new alternator.
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Update: From "Mark the Plumber":
"I always said anyone who didn't build his own car was a sissy , until I bought this one at Goodguys Pleasanton in 2004. Built by Nick Groshen, Fremont Ca. in mid '90's; Flames by Mike(the Stripe) Macias, Milpitas Ca; 2x4 frame V6 OHC all aluminum, fuel injected Italian Hemi (Alpha Romeo); 5speed transaxle; Torsion bar independent front, rack and pinion, coil over rear; Drives straight at all speeds, never overheats, impossible to break loose in turns(almost)."
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Update: veteran Earth Week cruiser Scott Wilcox from Seattle writes:
"I've been mixing AV Gas, Leaded Kemco Octane Boost, and 2 Stroke Oil in anticipation of this years Virtual Cruise. I bought a 2 Stroke GP Bike just for this event."
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We begin this year with your humble host's vehicular bun-in-the-oven: the embryonic Coupe of Wrath. This real-deal-Henry-Ford-steel Deuce chopped five window will be the angry, bellicose contrapunctus to my Enlightenment-themed '31 Coupe of Justice. What you see here are the initial stages of chassis setup at Suicide Axle Hot Rods, where Drew D and I spent the last two Sundays getting the project started. Rails are stock '32 Ford. Center X member is modified '39 Ford, which will also supply pedal assembly, rear crossmember/spring arch, rear wishbones and front axle. Differential will be 9" Edsel with posi third member. '48 Ford F1s brakes modified to the '59 Buick finned aluminum drums seen here. The radius rods seen here are home made pieces from the late 50's / early 60's, when the car was a Chicago street racer. Drew narrowed them an inch and added the 3-hole gusset, a period correct customizing trick.
Now you're saying, "hey man, what's with all the eco-freako recycling? And where's the damn carbonating unit?" Not to worry. I also closed the deal on the CoW's motor last week: A genuine '65 Corvette 327 365hp unit running 2.02/1.60 solid lifter camel hump heads, along with the Vette's Muncie M-21. Current plan is to run a lowriser dual quad with Rochester QJs, but there may be something wilder -- much wilder -- coming in the intake department. Details to come!
