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J Foster

All the good acceptance speech jokes are taken at this point. So are all the good post-acceptance speech drugs. Give me money.

Kendall Craig

This award is for people who actually have blogs, and that ain't fair. I grew up in a poor family in the Reagan era of trickle down greed. My family couldn't even afford a pencil and notepad let alone a Timex Sinclair 1000. Because of that, my access to computers was cut off when I needed it most, and I never got the skills to make a blog. I don't have one. But if I did, it'd be a swell one. Definitely award-winning. So why am I being disrespected and discriminated against?


"The sporto's, the motor heads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wast-oids, dweebies, dickheads they all adore him, they think he's a righteous dude."


I feel like I'm walking on air. I can't believe it. Pinch me! I like me, I really like me.

Mr. Right

I'd like to thank myself, without whom this would never have been possible!

Oh, and all my readers can suck it!


you like me. you really like me.

Hannibal Lectern

Would you like to leave me your home phone number?

Alan Kellogg

I will not accept an award from anybody who would give me an award.

Michael Rittenhouse

Everybody wins!

So special. Like those olympics.

Assistant Village Idiot

What a great week! Yesterday I was notified by email that I'd won a Belgian lottery, too! 2009 is going to be a great year.


For all of you who said I'd never amount to anything...HAH! Thanks for this prestigious award Mr. Iowahawk.


synthetic gold?..harumf..I demand 18k or higher..I'll wait....heh

Jim Treacher

It's an honor just to be nominated instead of the people who really deserve it.


You're funny, if you didn't know it already!

Sissy Willis

I haven't had an orthodox career, and I've wanted more than anything to have your respect. The first time I didn't feel it, but this time I feel it, and I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me.

Son of the South

Mine looked like sh*t when I printed it out! I want a refund!


Free Tibet!

buddy larsen

When one is "awarded" one is made responsible for the future well-being of the bestower(s). Just break down the root word: "a_ward". A ward. Ward. You give me a ward. You are the ward. You want to be my ward. No thanks, Robin. Batman doesn't want you. Find someone else to crucify. I can eat 50 eggs.

Bird Dog

Aw shucks. We don't deserve it. Thanks so much.
(Pause for applause)
We could never have done it without Ma and Pa's support.
(Pause for applause)
Thank you,friends. We will treasure this moment always.


Blog Awards!
I came to meet Enzyte Bob for Weiner Candy!


I'm sorry we have to break for a commercial could you speed it up a little?

These awards shows don't pay for themselves you know.

Have your people call my people, we'll do lunch.

Who was that? Do we know them?

Where's the limo?


"Feel free to proudly display on your sidebar..."

Is this a DMCA sting?

sabbott, mound mn

As much as I would like to accept this honor...until the evil BushHitler and Halliburtin have been displaced from the land and we have healed global war...hey...someone turn the damn mike back on right now or I'm gonna get really really mad!!!

ed in texas

Does this mean I hafta get a blog?
Seems like a lot of effort for not much return.

Fred Pennsylvania

I squawked at every site that would listen (oh? nobody read any of my complaints?) that a "Best Humor Blog" competition that failed to include Iowahawk is akin to a Best Female Underthings contest with no option to choose Edible Crotchless Panties (Mountain Dew flavor)!

Bah to them, sir! Bah, I say! Iowahawk rules!


I will place this right next to my 2006 Time Person of the Year award.


It's about damn time I got some recognition!


At last! You like me, you really like me!!

I accept this award for the finest blog in the "Tiny Mitochondria Spot on A Less Than Insignifigant Microbe In The TTLB Ecosystem" category.
It was a tough battle with the "Eskimo Ice Cube Salesmens' Blog " and the "Al Gore's Topless Beach Vacation Photo Gallery", I'm so proud.
If you're like me (and I know I am) there can only be a few million winners of this award and I'm certainly one. King Of The World!!!


Aww shucks. So proud I might as well shamelessly link whore.


How do you tatto a JPG on your neck? Does HP have a tattojet or something to print it with?

Dr. Dave

Why am I always the last friggin' idiot to know I suck so bad I get to share this award with anyone not named Iowahawk? Cutting into my wrists now with a paper knife so dull my kids have already traded it for a school art project to be named later (or Barry Bonds, whichever shows up for work first).

Harry Bergeron

I wish to thank all the little people.

But I can't bring myself to do it.
Anyway, there were no little people.

The genius, the wit, the expertise, the research, the server repair, the hard, hard work was mine! All mine!!

Jill Hater

This award is greatly appreciated, especially after my blog came in third place in an awards ceremony created by me specifically to give myself an award, despite me being the only voting member of the awards committee. Failure is a mistress I know all too well, but now I have a mistress from my mistress in this ICEIE award. Kudos to me!


(Fans face, kvelling)
(Dashes up the sidebar, stopping to shake hands with The Quote From Spongeworthy)
I AM the world! (Full face in the camera at the foot of the stage)
(Air kisses iMac).
I'd like to thank my fat butt, who supported me without question during all those long-long nights as I GAVE MY ALL (interrupted by applause) to raising awareness of seminaked ladies and videos of guys getting hit in the nards.
This is for REYNOLDS!


.....aaaaaachoooo.....(large cloud of white powdered substance fills the room).....


sob......sob....sob......I'm speechless...


It's all well and good to create awards for internationally established bloggers, but what about an award for those too lazy to create/host/maintain a blog of their own, but are skillful in dumbing the work of others down in the Comments section? We need a Blog Commenters award, dammit.

Most Annoying Troll
Most Posts while Intoxicated
Most Fearful of Punctuation
Greatest inability to use adverbs
Most dreadful fatality while posting a comment

I shall now nominate myself as Longest Post on this Thread with no Apparent Reason Other than to Amuse Myself.


What's a blog.


I knew there was a demand for top-flight Joe Biden stories out there, though up until now, it hasn't been evident. On behalf of all the hard-working contributors to, I proudly accept this award.


I'm handing out awards for non-bloggers!

I just took a bow.

I couldn't have done it without the one and only Grand Master: Iowahawk.

Two Dogs

Yeah, uh, am I supposed to actually thank someone? I deserved this award. I did all the work, I posted all the insane ramblings, I wasted those characters myself.

Oh, thanks to Blogger for letting me have a site for free, too.

Y'all should be ashamed for making me wait this damn long for an award. Who is buying drinks for the WINNAH?!?!?!

Hannibal Lectern

I ate the last award.

Kanye West

Yo, this award is rigged!!

Daniel Ruwe

I wish I could win any kind of award. I must be the least awarded blogger on the Internet.

Funny post, of course, but you already knew that.


Suck it, Kathy Griffin!

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