Aug. 8, 2007
7 pm: Who's that knocking on the screen door? None other than Tim Blair, Australia's favorite ink-stained bon vivant. Yay! After a few weeks bumming about Los Angeles and New York, Tim has finally arrived at my trailer, official base camp for our pilgrimage west to the holy shrine of internal combustion: Speed Week at the Bonneville Salt Flats. For both Tim and I, this journey will be the realization of a lifelong dream and the result of nearly 5 minutes of careful planning. And a reason for celebration! Tim, my special ladyfriend and I gather at the retaining pond and enjoy numerous Shiner Bocks under the twinkling bug zapper. After that it gets fuzzy.
Aug. 9, 2007
We awake at the crack of noon and enjoy a hearty bowl of hair-o'-the-dog. To get ourselves oriented for the long weekend carbon binge ahead, we decide to wheel out my Riviera and commence stomping the the ozone layer a new mudhole with 425 cubic inches of Nailhead power. Estimated mpg: 11 (your results may vary). First stop: the local Marathon for some hi-test dinosaur juice.
This should keep her happy for a couple hours.
3:22 pm: our next stop is Hot Rod Chassis and Cycle in Addison, IL, where Kevin Tully and the boys put together some of the tastiest, nastiest cars you'll ever see, including a couple of lakes racers that are slated to debut at Bonneville next year. Foolishly, Kevin allows us to wander around the shop without our hockey helmets.
'32 Plymouth with 392 Chrysler Hemi -- hot car from way back in the global warming era.
Something you don't see every day: Essex sedan featuring Dodge truck grille, Woodlite headlights, 413 Dodge Superstock with quad carb setup.
The classic "A-Bone": chopped '29 Model A Coupe, flathead mill
Bonneville car in-process: tube frame with 472 Cadillac motor. When finished, it will sport a '27 Model T turtledeck roadster body.
5:45 pm: All that hot rod action has left us feeling a bit peckish. So we motor back into the Windy City in Kennedy Expressway rush hour traffic (vintage, ice-cold, now-illegal freon A/C blasting, natch) for a quick bite at Chicago's finest restaurant: Superdawg. Behold its mighty dancing anthropomorphic weiners!
Mmmmm.... The Supercheesie!
Blair savors the succulent interplay of seared animal flesh, processed dairy, spuds, condiments, and transfats.
Oh oh... bad mojo awaits in the alley behind Superdawg. To appease Vulcan, god of combustion, we take matters into our own hands. Hope you enjoyed the "special donations," Gaia!
6:32 pm: With the Buick's needle hovering ominously toward "E," we make our way back to the trailer. Luckily, however, there is a full tank in the Coupe of Justice, which we wheel out and resume our aimless carbon monoxide orgy.
8:50 PM: Back to the trailer to finish off the remaining Shiner Bocks and two or five bottles of vino. Lights out at midnight because tomorrow is the big day!
To be continued...
