Aid Pours in for Victims of Mommy Madness

Alachua, FL - Victims of 'Mommy Madness,' the self-esteem crisis that has devastated women on both coasts and parts of Chicago, are finally getting much-needed help thanks to the spontaneous relief efforts of thousands of volunteers across the country.

"It's hard to look at the plight of these women and not want to chip in and 'git 'er done,'" says Tammi Jo Pearsall, 28.

Pearsall, herself a mother of four and part-time convenience store clerk in Alachua, is widely credited with creating the grassroots relief network that has generated over $4,600 in donations for Upper Westside supermoms desperately seeking meaningful time for self-actualization. Her charitable crusade was spurred, in part, by an injury to one of her children.

"Little Brandon was goin' at the bug zapper again, even after I warnt him that'd git him another whuppin'," she explains. "Anyways, I was sittin' in the waitin' room at the emergency clinic, and I picked up this Newsweek magazine and read me this article about how these mommas up there in New York and Boston were faced with all them false expectations and gender roles, and I just flat ass broke down."

"I hadn't cried that hard since NASCAR fined Little E for sayin' them cuss words," she adds, her eyes still welling with traces of the raw emotion that drove her to action.

After she returned to her mobile home and administered a whupping to her rambunctious bandaged son, Pearsall decided to fashion a donation cup from an empty Slim Fast can. She took it with her to work at the local Jet Gasmart, sparking a major nationwide aid campaign.

"I work the 4-to-midnight shift, so I get a lot of longhaul truckers," says Pearsall. "Them are some good boys, and they were real eager to help when I tolt them about how many of them city women were struggling with feelings of disempowerment and a lack of options."

Soon, CB radios up and down the I-75 corridor were buzzing with chatter about the crisis and offers of help. Like hundreds of other truckers, Dothan, Alabama-based Krystal Youngblood decided to make the cause their own personal crusade.

"As a momma myself, I just couldn't sit there and not git involved," she says. A regional route driver for Dixie Hellfire Spicy Beef Jerky, Youngblood hand-made donation tins for all 125 convenience stores she services on her weekly route through Alabama, Georgia and the Florida panhandle.

While area truckers are expanding her crusade globally, Tammi Jo Pearsall continues to take a more local approach to Mommy Madness activism. Along with her children - Cheyenne, 11, Dakota, 7, F-150 Crewcab, 6, and Brandon, 4 -- Pearsall regularly visits Winn-Dixies and dirt tracks throughout North Florida to raise awareness. It is a labor of love, and Pearsall says she will not quit until the children of graduate-degreed mothers in Manhattan and the Back Bay have adequate access to competitive preschools.

"I raised over $3 in the emergency clinic waiting room, when I took Brandon back after he stuck his haid in the swamp cooler," she says with pride.

WE ARE THE WORLD

From its inauspicious beginnings in rural Florida, the battle to preserve priveleged urban women's happiness has spread like wildfire. America's minority communities have been especially active in the cause.

"Suffering knows no color," says Latasha Evans, 26. "When I heard about all the career and time management struggles of these unhappy white women, I knew as a Christian, I had to do my part."

A mother of two in Harvey, Illinois, Evans persuaded her fellow parishoners at Calvary Zion AME Church to act on behalf of the victims. Evans' church choir, The Mighty Gospel Wings of Mercy, recently recorded a self-funded album to promote awareness of Affluent Supermom Syndrome. Entitled "Sweet Glory of Self-Esteem," the CD's proceeds will go directly to offset victims' Ballet and Pilates class dues.

Evans is also donating her time to the effort, travelling by CTA bus twice a week to Chicago's Gold Coast and North Shore as a volunteer care provider for needy white supermoms in need of a break for self-reflection.

"It's tragic when you hear, first hand, how these women don't get the parenting help they need from their male partners," she says. "The experience has made me realize how lucky I am to have D'Shawn [Collins], my babies' daddy, and the $150 he sends me most every month."

It is an experience shared by Rosario Sanchez, 34. As an undocumented Guatemalan domestic who works in Los Gatos, California, Sanchez is all too familiar with the psychic devastation suffered by wealthy Anglo mujeras when faced with color-coordinating felt for their children's art projects.

"I have seen with my own eyes how this disease has driven my employer, Ms. Sunderland, almost crazy with exhaustion," she says through an interepreter. "Managing a career, children, dealing with gender issues, writing out my shopping list for Dean and Deluca -- I just don't know how she does it."

A devout Catholic, Sanchez said she was moved by "la spirita del Guadelupe" to act. On her Wednesday days off, she and her three children now go van-to-van in their bustling neighborhood under the US-101 overpass, soliciting donations for Santa Clara County Mommy Madness victims.

The search for a cure has also attracted the attention of high-profile donors. At this weekend's Daytona 500 stock car race, the #22 Caterpillar Dodge of driver Scott Bimmer debuted with a special "Newsweek Complain For The Cure" hood decal. In a poignant moment, the car received a standing ovation from hundreds of thousands of Daytona spectators after it flipped out of control down turn 4.

The NBA, NFL and Major League Baseball, along with their affiliated players associations, have also gotten into the act with a recent announcement that they would contribute 10% of all professional athlete child support payments to the relief cause. The "Ballers for Bizatches" program is expected to generate over $1200 in the first year alone.

The effort has also expanded internationally. From Sudan to Indonesia, thousands of women across the globe have heeded the call for feminist sisterhood and lined up with offers of support and solidarity.

Typical is Ulaam Abdullah, 27, of Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. Ulaam was so moved by the plight of American Supermom victims that she organized a local charity as soon as she received permission from her husband.

"Here in the kingdom, we women don't have to worry about juggling career pressures and driver's licenses and voting, so it's easy for us to get complacent and spoiled," she says. "so I guess you could say it was a real wake-up call when I heard how these American women felt so many mixed signals and confusing choices."

On a shady sidestreet in Calcutta, street beggar Manjima Chowdhury, 41, has thrown in her support with an auxilliary donation cup for the cause. "Calcuttans tend to be jaded, caught up in their own problems and diseases," she says. "I'm hoping to raise awareness and at lease ten rupees before the Monsoon season."

"Sure, I sometimes have my own 'supermom' pressures, like worrying about my childrens' distended bellies," adds Ethiopian relief aid volunteer Meseret Alemu. "But, unlike so many American women, I can really count on my society to help out whenever I need a 'me-time' break from shooing the flies from their eyes." 

RAYS OF HOPE

Thanks to the efforts of extraordinary women like Pearsall and Alemu, long suffering victims of the Mommy Madness disaster are finally seeing tangible reason for hope.

Early Monday morning, the first relief semi trailer arrived in New York, muscling its way up Westside Highway to the disaster's epicenter -- West 89th and Amsterdam. Its cargo: $1,488 in cash, 216 pounds of Dixie Hellfire Spicy Beef Jerky, and 41 eager women volunteers from Interstate 75's Valdosta- to-Ocala "convenience corridor." Among them: Tammi Jo Pearsall.

"I was plannin' to use my vacation time to ride with my old man Rick down to Daytona for Bike Week," she says. "Rick was really lookin' forward to it, he even made me a nice new bitch seat for his springer hardtail. But I tolt him this was too important, so that wet t-shirt contest at the Rat's Hole would have to wait until next year."

Pearsall and her fellow volunteers recoil as the rear gate of the trailer goes up, letting in the glare of the morning light. As the temporary blindness wears off the volunteers finally see, with their own eyes, the tragedy that has united them: hundreds of advanced-degree, high-income 40 year old urban white women struggling with lifestyle imperfections.

"This is what it's all about," says Pearsall.

She bites her lip to stave off the tears, because there are hundreds of victims clamoring at the trailer's gate, their feet shod only in Manolo Blahnik and Jimmy Choo against the chilly Westside temperatures. She distributes beef jerky and dollar bills to their frenzied, outstretched hands. For the victims' children, the volunteers hand out dozens of used Bratz dolls and BB guns -- the bounty of a weeklong toy drive at TSC stores throughout South Alabama.

After the donated goods are distributed, volunteers eagerly line up for assignment to needy victims.

"Sure, it was hard taking a month off from the Waffle House," says Columbus, GA volunteer Jewel Childress.  "But if it means one of these New York mothers will finally have time to take an enrichment class at The New School or start work on her novel, it'll all be worth it."

Despite the outpouring of aid, it is still overwhelmed by the enormity of the disaster. Pearsall chokes back sobs as she looks out over the hundreds of empty eyes of victims who will have to wait on the next aid convoy.As the trailer gate closes, she says she will redouble her relief efforts when she returns home to Alachua.

"As soon I get back, I'm raisin' more money down at the emergency room," she vows. "Rick called, and that damned little Brandon got at the bug zapper agin."

Comments

So dumb

So dumb

[lilo]

OMG, it was hysterical, in the good sense. still laughing. sad part is, while the good ol' girls would help out, the mommies would look down at their noses at them.

[Mary in LA]

Thanks to you, I can now expect to wear my designer jeans three sizes smaller, because I just laughed my [posterior] off! :-D I grew up in Los Gatos. It's sooo true...

[Ken Bond]

Good stuff!!!

[thirdfinger]

What the hell are you smoking? Whatever it is, I want some. Either this is drop dead easy for you or you spend a lot of time on these little vignettes. Thanks for the good work and remember "We're all Bozo's on this bus."

[Doug]

It will be a sad day when you stop writing. May God bless you all the days of your life.

[sissoed]

Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.

[Sticky B]

Is F-150 Crewcab a boy's or girl's name?

It's got to be a girl. Crew Cabs have more openings than regular cabs. More guys can fit in at one time.

I have to second the motion Mr. Iowahawk.

You sir, are a comic genius.

[Anne]

Great one!
I hadn't seen much of this whiny stuff post-9/11 but it is starting to come back!
Anne (single mother of two, now grown and ALMOST out of the house)

[mopsy]

Gosh, it is so gratifying to know that people CARE! As a suburban stay-at-home mom of five children (really) I look forward to the windfall that is coming my way shortly.

The first thing I am going to do is find a five hour long Yoga-lates/knitting class where I can look at myself in the mirror, constantly. I can't think of a more deserving person than ME. Me. Me, me, and me.

[Tom Carter]

Fantastic! Having grown up in the south, I actually knew kids whose names weren't very far from "F-150 Crewcab." I don't know if you actually do have any women friends left, but if I were you, I'd stack some sandbags around the front door and tape the windows! Remember Larry Summers....

I'll link to this, if you don't mind. That way maybe a few more people will see it, and they won't throw rocks at me because I didn't write it!

[Kibi]

Crying with laughter...thanks!

[OMG]

Oh. My. God.

LAUGHED MY ASS OFF!

You just keep getting funnier!

[Casey]

hey hawk, i saw a victim of supermom-ness on "cops" last night, and she definetly needs this organization's aide. the burly flat topped sarge and his quite comely little partner responded to a domestic disturbance. they do a walk through of the apartment, and after pulling back some cut trash bags turned curtains, found a kitchen that hadn't been cleaned in months. as funny as it was, the humor started to wane when the camera passed a few hy-vee bags scattered around. please be omaha. nope. unfortunately, it was des moines' finest in action. the reason the man of the house was yelling at the lil woman because of the condition of said kitchen. mr. iowahawk, i think this is a clear example that supermom's need help in the red state sea as well. can you please see to it that ms. pearsall's help makes it's way to the heartland as well?

on a completly unrelated note, i turned it back to f/x later last night to catch a little more "cops". i turned it just in time to see the tried but true "cops" sight of naked black man on pcp. this time, naked black man was bleeding quite badly. the camera was only on him for a bit, then panned out to show the cute female des moines cop again. the eight cops on the street donned latex gloves to their elbows, then emptied about 5 cans of pepper spray directly into nbmop's face, and he kinda flinched. then they all had to jump on him just to get him to the ground. he had no supermom when he was a youngster. see what happens?

[J. Peden]

I done been wonderin what them talking vaginees were all about. I guess it's what's knowed as a cry fer help! i'm sendin some nice fat home pork sausage pronto. Yep, spam stuffed pig gut shiny as you please. Jes warm under urin arm n serve. Lasts a week or two. Spells relief, they say. Don't know seein as how I got Old George out to the stable. Them petrosexals must have gone on another guzzlin strike out to pedro cardians or some such gol dern thing. Ben Davis made is all I knowed bout sech things.

Think I'll sing a bit: "You ask me stranger, why I made this journey, why I crossed three thousand miles of rolling waves. Like many others, my darling's killed in action. That's why I'm here, I'm searching for his grave. Somewhere here among these many thousands, of Americans who all died true, and brave. That's where I know I'll find him resting, so I'm here, I'm searching for his grave." [Kitty Wells]

Keeps my vaginee from actin up, Stranger.

[mp]

jeez but you are sometin'! Are you serious or do you have any women friends left? And do you honestly think men aren't out there bitchin and tryin' to relive their youth while the women folk carry on their perfectionistic duties?

[CycloneMark]

Lileks did this with his usual brilliance, but I must say that this piece was worth the wait. If Iowa's public universities stop jacking tuition, I'll tip ya. Or maybe if I get a job...

Scott Wimmer. The driver of the #22 Dodge is Scott Wimmer.

[Chevy Rose]

I'm a reformed super mom. I did it entirely on my own, by going cold-turkey. No, correction, Jack Daniels, and learning to love dirty dishes in the sink. I'm no longer a slave to clean clothes or changing bed sheets. My divorce will be finalized shortly.

Is F-150 Crewcab a boy's or girl's name?

Pure, sublime genius.

[Sheryl]

You're a genius - I'm headed to the home computer to give this the trackback it so richly deserves.

[Adrian]

Scott Bimmer?

Having just spent three hours watching the 50 laps of the race that FOX bothered to broadcast between erectile disfunction commercials, I'm pretty sure you mean Steve Wimmer. Or is it Matt Skinner? I forget.

[michele]

Beautiful. When people ask me "Why do you say Iowahawk is a genius?" I'll point them to this post.

[mr mcmuffin]

Her spelling and grammar has gone to pot.

You always make me smirk, but this made me laugh out loud. I've said it before, you are a bad man and one day you'll git yours.

So this is why you are now the second richest blogger in the blogsphere.

[iowahawk]

Mr. Yngve: I'm not sure how you could tell if I were to burn out.

Mrs McM: £1.71 ?

Damn, if I remember the exchange rate correctly, that's like $40 in real American money. Tammi Jo thanks you from the bottom of her Harley hardtail.

[mrs mcmuffin]

Thanykou, Iowahawk for drawing my attention to the pain of these women. Mr McMuffin and I have been door to door collecting cash. We found that the most generous were those with the least to give, but we collected £50 in an hour. Of course, we were knackered by the end of our little walkabout and stopped for a snack and a bottle of wine. We've got £1.71 left and were sending it to Tammi Jo with pride.

[yetanotherjohn]

It is stories like this that give me hope for America. What I noticed was that these woman were caught up in the Red State - Blue State political culture wars so many have succumbed to (you know who you are). They were just reacting woman to woman, seeing a real and desperate need and doing all they can to meet that need.

One thing the article did not mention, and I think it may be because of a certain bias in the reporter, is the fine work being done by the women who work the poll. In our area, the youthful (and some unfortunately not so youthful) gentlemen's entertainment dancers have been donating all bills placed over their left cheek towards Affkuent Supermom Sufferers (ASS). It is really touching to see the men with a dollar in their hand contemplate their hard choice between a chance at seeing a bit of bare frontal pie and where they know they should put it. I have talked to more than one of these men, many incoherent despite the excessive cost of the drinks, who acknowledged they gave to ASS because they thought about their own wives at home and how they never had to worry about getting any ASS at home.

[A.R.Yngve]

You Da Man, Iowahawk! That piece ranks up there with Swift's "A Modest Proposal".

Awesome. Now please don't burn out on us...

-A.R.Yngve
http://yngve.bravehost.com

[Sleepless in Philadelphia]

Hawk,

Great post. I sent it to my wife (U.Penn. B.S. -Wharton School, CPA) and now I'm sleeping on the floor in my office.