No Child Left Behind
As a member of the ___CAUCASIAN_MALE___ community, I have to admit I have been skeptical about President Bush’s No Child Left Behind program. There seems to be so much conflicting information! I wanted to set the record straight, so I called my old friend, popular radio host Armstrong Williams.
"Don’t believe the cynics, ___DAVID_BURGE__ ," he laughed. "No Child Left Behind is a vital component of President Bush’s comprehensive program to create an opportunity society for all Americans, including those in the ___CAUCASIAN_MALE___ community."
And how! Once I looked into it, I learned that No Child Left Behind is designed to change the culture of America's schools by closing the achievement gap, offering more flexibility, giving parents more options, and teaching students based on what works. In addition, No Child Left Behind puts special emphasis on determining what educational programs and practices have been proven effective through rigorous scientific research.
"Wow, Armstrong – thanks for setting the record straight!" I said. "I can’t wait to get the word out to ___CAUCASIAN_MALE___ readers of my blog, ___IOWAHAWK___ !"
"No problem, ___DAVID_BURGE__ , " he said. "For more information, please visit the official No Child Left Behind website at http://www.nochildleftbehind.gov ."
Howard Dean
Whuzzup, ___IOWAHAWK___ readers! Is another four years of BushCo harshing your mellow? Looking to support a progressive resurgence through direct grassroots activism? Well, the DOCTOR is in back the hizz-ouse!
After a presidential campaign that changed the American political landscape, feisty former Vermont Governor Howard Dean is back doing what he does best – taking on the Republicans, speaking truth to power, and igniting the spirit of young people around the country. Now he’s taking that spirit and focusing on a run for Chairman of the Democratic National Committee!
Dr. Dean has earned the organic grassroots support of blogs like Daily Kos and ___IOWAHAWK___ , and now he needs our help again. Please join me and _____TENS____ of readers of ___IOWAHAWK___ by voicing your support for Dr. Dean to the Democratic National Committee at http://www.democrats.org/
Marlboro®
As an on-the-go blogger who writes about __VARIOUS_TOPICS__ , I always look forward to the rich, satisfying tobacco flavor of Marlboro® between __VARIOUS_TOPICS__ posts. And now Marlboro® is celebrating 50 years of flavor! Please visit the tobacco counter of your local store for special money-saving anniversary coupons on Marlboro®, Marlboro® Lights and Marlboro® Menthols – and tell them your old blogging friend ___DAVID_BURGE__ sent you!
Personally, I have no doubt that David Lodge's, I mean Burge's, Marlboro's endorsement is genuine.
Posted by: Mike | January 18, 2005 at 04:31 PM
Hawk,
Did you post this with the same machine you used in the Texas Air National Guard?
Posted by: Les Nessman | January 17, 2005 at 11:40 PM
Zephyr is a name?
Pluto's Dad
http://eyesontheball.blogspot.com
News Satire That's Right For You
Posted by: Pluto's Dad | January 17, 2005 at 11:03 PM
Cincinnatus: A sense of humor helps.
Posted by: Mitch | January 17, 2005 at 08:35 PM
Zephyr is a woman?
Posted by: Dick Nixon | January 17, 2005 at 08:30 PM
Cincinnatus,
You maintain the DEAN campaign says it wasn't trying to influence Kos? Then how do you explain this?
Zephyr Teachout, the former head of Internet outreach for Mr. Dean’s campaign, made the disclosure earlier this week in her own Web log, Zonkette. She said “to be very clear, they never committed to supporting Dean for the payment — but it was very clearly, internally, our goal.”
You complain about moral equivalency? How about we complain about your inability to read?
http://users1.wsj.com/lmda/do/checkLogin?a=t&url=http%3A%2F%2Fonline.wsj.com%2Farticle%2F0%2C%2CSB110566243803425942%2C00.html%3Fpublicf%3Dyes
Posted by: Pluto's Dad | January 17, 2005 at 07:32 PM
Or was it?
Posted by: Eric Pobirs | January 17, 2005 at 06:39 PM
Oops, that was Ducky whose comment I replied to but misread the labeling. Sorry.
Posted by: Eric Pobirs | January 17, 2005 at 06:39 PM
Get a grip, Cincy. By your description it sounds like the only thing the Bush guys got wrong was not trying to hide what they were doing. If you believe Kos, leading online crank for their side, was hired for technical consulting by sheer coincidence, I've got some dot.com stocks to offer you. They're going to come back big real soon, so now is your big chance to strike it rich.
Posted by: Eric Pobirs | January 17, 2005 at 06:37 PM
I was just thinking:
If these people say they "speak truth to power"
and "only the fool can tell the king the truth"
Are they all fools?
Pluto's Dad
http://eyesontheball.blogspot.com
News Satire that's right for you
Posted by: PlutosDad | January 17, 2005 at 05:53 PM
Iowahawk -- flushing humorless pricks from the underbrush since 2005!
Posted by: Jay Manifold | January 17, 2005 at 05:43 PM
Moral equivalency watch.
There is zero similar between Kos and Armstrong Williams. Trying to pretend there is only minimizes what Williams and BushCo. did.
Kos -- disclosed, was written about dozens of times in the last twelve months.
Williams -- didn't disclose.
Kos -- private money for consulting.
Williams -- taxpayer money for propaganda.
Kos -- Dean campaign maintains it was NOT trying ot influence Kos's positions.
Williams -- DOEd admits it was to influence Williams' positions.
Keep up the moral equivalency there guy.
Posted by: Cincinnatus | January 17, 2005 at 05:22 PM
Hey where can I get some of those Marlboro coupons?
I want to start smoking but they are so damn expensive thanks to greedy State Governments and trial lawyers.
I am a young man who wishes to non-conform.I feel that if I clearly disassociate myself from those uncool dorks dissing smokes on TV by taking up the "habit" then I will gain more opportunities to have sex with attractive young women!
Posted by: Ducky | January 17, 2005 at 04:51 PM
Ok count me in. That makes us elevens of readers.
Posted by: Paul | January 17, 2005 at 12:18 PM
C'mon David, round it up to "dozens" of readers. Go ahead, reach for the stars.
Posted by: Matt in Denver | January 15, 2005 at 08:37 PM
Hawk,
"Tens of readers"? Ok, who are the other five?
DGB
Posted by: Damian | January 15, 2005 at 04:28 PM
Funny on so many levels!
:)
A.R.Yngve
Posted by: A.R.Yngve | January 15, 2005 at 09:02 AM
I just got back from Iowahawk land today. There is cold, and there is friggin' cold. This morning it was past friggin' cold.
Posted by: OC Chuck | January 14, 2005 at 11:49 PM
Wrong on so many levels.
Posted by: Robert | January 14, 2005 at 07:02 PM