Minimalism
If there's one thing that really bugs me, besides the random freeway hallucinations, it's the thing where some blogger announces "blogging will be light." As in, "blogging will be light, as I am quilting Romulan throw pillows for StarTrek CraftCon," or "light blogging this week, I have to kill my mom." Hey, we're all saddened that your multifaceted go-go lifestyle keeps you from the keyboard, but believe me -- we'll get over it. Telling us "blogging will be light" is sort of like calling up the neighbors to announce you won't be nude sunbathing in the back yard for a while. Even if you're Lindsay Lohan, it comes off as more creepy than disappointing.
And that's why I have decided not to announce that "blogging will be light this week." Instead I am announcing that, in a Zen-inspired piece of experimental blogging performance art, I will be temporarily increasing my output of non-bloggings. Sophisticated readers will of course recognize this as an homage to the late John Cage and his radically minimalist 1952 composition 4'33".
If you are an intellectual with a degree in music theory or art history, please check back frequently this week. Enjoy the complex interplay between figure and ground as the compositional white space generated by my non-postings create a symmetric tension with the intriguing BlogAds on the right, which feature fine products such as those kick-ass Super Hoss Saw Horses which can support an entire F-150. Try finding those at the newly reopened MoMA, Poindexter.
But, if the prospect of a few day without my juvenile japery sends your life spiraling into a vortex of despair, I encourage you to visit the fine folks linked on the blogroll to the left - especially Treacher, Ace, Goldstein, and Frank J., all of whom are consistently funnier, insightfullier, and smartassier than anything you'll find here. I'd also recommend the omnipotent Allah, but it seems that like his namesake he has abandoned the faithful. I'm guessing he's still out celebrating the World Series. I would also note some long-overdue additions to the blogroll, including
- Pave France - stylish francophobic &funny group blog featuring one of my NYC drinking pals, Damian Bennett.
- Jesus Had a Tatoo - probably my favorite new blog, featuring the stream-of-conscious sociopolitical humor of Big Al in Ohio. Very dry, very midwestern, very psychedelic.
- Baldilocks - Chicken blogger? Not this camo clad warrior-ess, who maintains a though-provoking blog while helping protecting America as a veteran military reservist. A favorite since our days at LGF, Juliette becomes the first sista on the iowahawk blogroll - narrowly edging out smart Christian gal LaShawn Barber.
- The New Editor - straight outta the Lone Star moonbat asylum of Austin, comes this erudite conservative group blog. Think Powerline with a little Tex-Mex flava.
Drop by and tell 'em Dave sent you. In the meantime I will be non-posting from the dangerous jihadi hotbed of London. If you're near a tube station and want to have a beer on Thursday or Friday, drop me an email.
What it Was, Was Football
Update on the latest NCAA "scalp" ratings:
Rank | Team | Games | Own Scalp | Collected Scalps | Total |
1 | Oklahoma | 11 | 119 | 650 | 1245 |
2 | Southern California | 11 | 120 | 635 | 1235 |
3 | Auburn | 11 | 113 | 591 | 1156 |
4 | Boise State | 11 | 118 | 553 | 1143 |
5 | Utah | 11 | 120 | 526 | 1126 |
6 | Texas | 11 | 108 | 582 | 1122 |
7 | Iowa | 11 | 96 | 535 | 1015 |
8 | Michigan | 11 | 96 | 523 | 1003 |
9 | Arizona State | 11 | 84 | 523 | 943 |
10 | California | 10 | 98 | 450 | 940 |
11 | Miami (Florida) | 10 | 88 | 500 | 940 |
12 | Tennessee | 11 | 98 | 440 | 930 |
13 | Georgia | 11 | 92 | 458 | 918 |
14 | Louisiana State | 11 | 94 | 442 | 912 |
15 | Virginia Tech | 11 | 96 | 412 | 892 |
16 | Florida State | 11 | 86 | 449 | 879 |
17 | Louisville | 10 | 98 | 389 | 879 |
18 | Wisconsin | 11 | 96 | 390 | 870 |
19 | Virginia | 11 | 86 | 399 | 829 |
20 | Texas A&M | 11 | 74 | 443 | 813 |
21 | Ohio State | 11 | 74 | 400 | 770 |
22 | Toledo | 11 | 86 | 328 | 758 |
23 | Boston College | 11 | 83 | 337 | 752 |
24 | Colorado | 11 | 76 | 354 | 734 |
25 | Texas-El Paso | 11 | 81 | 323 | 728 |
Normalized to an 11 game season:
Rank | Team | Games | Own Scalp | Collected Scalps | Total |
1 | Oklahoma | 11 | 119.00 | 650.00 | 1245.00 |
2 | Southern California | 11 | 120.00 | 644.80 | 1244.80 |
3 | Auburn | 11 | 113.00 | 591.00 | 1156.00 |
4 | Boise State | 11 | 118.00 | 543.67 | 1133.67 |
5 | Utah | 11 | 120.00 | 526.00 | 1126.00 |
6 | Texas | 11 | 108.00 | 585.10 | 1125.10 |
7 | Miami (Florida) | 10 | 96.80 | 560.78 | 1044.78 |
8 | California | 10 | 107.80 | 502.26 | 1041.26 |
9 | Iowa | 11 | 96.00 | 535.00 | 1015.00 |
10 | Michigan | 11 | 96.00 | 517.83 | 997.83 |
11 | Louisville | 10 | 107.80 | 434.61 | 973.61 |
12 | Arizona State | 11 | 84.00 | 524.43 | 944.43 |
13 | Tennessee | 11 | 98.00 | 440.00 | 930.00 |
14 | Georgia | 11 | 92.00 | 458.00 | 918.00 |
15 | Louisiana State | 11 | 94.00 | 442.00 | 912.00 |
16 | Virginia Tech | 11 | 96.00 | 413.60 | 893.60 |
17 | Florida State | 11 | 86.00 | 449.00 | 879.00 |
18 | Wisconsin | 11 | 96.00 | 384.83 | 864.83 |
19 | Virginia | 11 | 86.00 | 399.00 | 829.00 |
20 | Texas A&M | 11 | 74.00 | 443.00 | 813.00 |
21 | Ohio State | 11 | 74.00 | 400.00 | 770.00 |
22 | Toledo | 11 | 86.00 | 328.00 | 758.00 |
23 | Boston College | 11 | 83.00 | 337.00 | 752.00 |
24 | Pittsburgh | 10 | 75.90 | 363.00 | 742.50 |
25 | Colorado | 11 | 76.00 | 354.00 | 734.00 |
What, Nebraska is not #1?
What reason do I have now?
To Live?
Posted by: DrLaszlo | December 15, 2004 at 11:01 PM
I like a ranking system that puts Boise State at 4th (my brother went there and my parents have season tickets).
Posted by: Frank J. | December 04, 2004 at 04:53 PM
I really enjoy your humor and your wit, Iowahawk.
I hope you don't mind a bit of shameless shilling but I'd appreciate it if you would check out my new blog The Moonbat Abattoir.
If that's off base, hopefully you'll excuse and just delete the posting.
I really don't know how I should go about finding new readers.
Thanks for any help or comments.
http://moonbatabattoir.blogspot.com
Posted by: bedrocktruth | December 04, 2004 at 04:58 AM
FYI, commenting will be light for the next few months, as this blog frightens and confuses me.
Posted by: Liberal Larry | December 03, 2004 at 01:11 PM
Thoroughly enjoying your non-posting, wish you were here.
Er... Thursday, Friday no good - AA meetings. Saturday all right with you?
Posted by: zorkmidden | December 02, 2004 at 12:11 AM
Mercy Buckettes on the pimpalicious plug. Grab me some floss while you're in Merry Ol' Blah Blay.
Posted by: Jesushadatatoo | November 29, 2004 at 03:34 PM
Thanks for the addition! BTW, I'm retired.
Posted by: Juliette | November 29, 2004 at 03:13 PM
Them are some sawhorse brackets.
Posted by: spongeworthy | November 29, 2004 at 11:33 AM
It bugs me too, but it keeps people from bugging me even further.
Posted by: Jim Treacher | November 29, 2004 at 10:59 AM