And then there was one.
Legendary Mosrite slinger Johnny Ramone succumbed to prostate cancer yesterday at 55. He follows Dee Dee (2002) and Joey (2001) into the 3-chord Choir Invisible, leaving Tommy as the final earthbound Ramone. To the thousands of deserved accolades he is now receiving, I will only add this: the Ramones' 1981 show at the Des Moines Holiday Inn was the Best. Concert. Ever.
Not only did Johnny and his bandmates recreated Rock and Roll the way God intended it -- loud, sloppy, stupid, and fun -- he was a true red-blooded conservative:
Johnny went worldwide public with his partisanship in 2002, when the Ramones were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. At the microphone to give props to the people who made it all possible, he offered his own version of a Michael Moore moment.
"God bless President Bush, and God bless America," he said, clad in his trademark T-shirt, ripped blue jeans and leather jacket.
"I said that to counter those other speeches at the other awards," Mr. Ramone says in a phone interview. "Republicans let this happen over and over, and there is never anyone to stick up for them. They spend too much time defending themselves."
Gabba Gabba Hey, Johnny.
HOLY CRAP
What happens when you get a simultaneous Instalanch, Corner-lanch, LGF-alanche, Blair-alanche and INDC-alanche? 20,000+ hits in the last 12 hours. Welcome, interlopers.
PAGING DARREN STEVENS
Famous brooding internet intellectual Joshua Micah Fauntleroy Mellencamp Heinz-Marshall (apologies to Ace) has put his finger on the root of John Kerry's electoral dysfunction -- inadequate slogans! -- and solicits suggestions. We aim to please, Josh.
I Will Keep Our Enemies Guessing, Too
Projecting American Strength Through Intricately Complex Nuance
The Thinking Man's Self-Confessed War Criminal
Vote For Me or My Running Mate Will Sue
Those Atrocity Stories? Dude, I Was Just Shitting You
I Will Do For You the Many Wonderous Things I Have Done For Massachusetts
Fear Not, America, I Have Deigned to Lead You
I Will Never Recuse My UN Ambassador from the Vote to Ask for a Permission Slip to Defend This Country
The Next Time America is Attacked, I Promise To Open Up a Carafe of Whupass
Post-Emptive Leadership For A Safer World
I Have Three Words For George Bush -- Bring It On
I Have Five More Words For George Bush -- Call Off Your On-Bringers
Restoring America's Seat At The Global Popular Table
Come Home Again, America... No Wait, Stay There Again
There Once Was A Man From Nantucket, If You Get My Drift
Shaggin' Billionaire Bag Ladies So You Don't Have To
Some Look at Things As They Are And Say, 'Why?' Others Look at Things As They Are Not And Say, 'Why Not?', And I Suppose A Few Might Look at Things As They Are Not, And Say 'Why?', and Vice-Versa, and So Forth, And One Might Be Tempted To Look at These People Looking at Things And Ask 'Who?' But This Would Not Be Constructive, Because The Important Thing To Realize Is That Some People Like To Look At Things, And This Is Precisely My Point
STYLISH NEW LINKAGE
Long overdue blogroll update is underway. Additions include the ace Ratherbusters at Power Line and INDC Journal, fellow Illinoisan Spoons, Central Committee commie apparatchik Politburo Diktat, velvet-toned radio crooner Hugh Hewitt, Hardball bete noir Michele Malkin, fake interviewer supreme Jeff Goldstein of Protein Wisdom, and fellow reactionary hotrod enthusiast Darren Lee.
I like my own slogan for Kerry: "Kerry Lied, POWs Died!"
Blog on.
PS. Hugh Hewitt drive a VOLVO! Generalissimo Duane at least drives a F-Body (Camaro). But, I scare them both with my T-Birds.
Posted by: PCD | September 24, 2004 at 01:31 PM
My contribution to the Kerry Campaign:
"It Takes A Kerry To Raze A Village"
Posted by: N. O'Brain | September 21, 2004 at 08:22 PM
From the "truth through ambiguity" department
Do you want four years of continuing disasters or not?
As consistant as the day is long
Posted by: CCR | September 20, 2004 at 11:22 PM
Here are a few more slogans for Kerry:
"If you don't like my position on the issues, just wait a day or two."
"I'm for whatever you're for!"
"I'm the anti-war candidate--I'm the man to lead America in the war on terror."
"My running mate and I are joined in supporting same sex marriage--let us share our family values with you."
"I may have the most liberal voting record of any senator, but I'm really a conservative."
"I'm proud of my service in Vietnam, even though I confessed to being a war criminal."
"Even though I was AWOL in the Senate for 20 years, I'm reporting for duty now!"
"I'm the non-racist candidate!"
Posted by: Ron Lambert | September 19, 2004 at 11:58 PM
Better Living through Complicity
Stronger Words Now for a Stronger America Now
John Kerry -- Existentialist Extraordinare
Posted by: James Beam | September 19, 2004 at 10:33 AM
Will f**k for money.
Posted by: chuck | September 18, 2004 at 10:14 PM
I saw this in my referer log and thought it might be a porn site.
Posted by: Jeff G | September 17, 2004 at 11:02 PM
Congrats on making Best of the Web. You're so funny I may have to kill you.
Posted by: Frank J. | September 17, 2004 at 10:32 PM
They are wonderful ,I would only add one:
" Do You Know Who I Am?"
Posted by: prettyold | September 17, 2004 at 08:17 PM
And the beat keeps going (WSJ Opinion Jornal now linking you, you may get some more visitors, like me) :)
Hmm, a suggested slogan...
"If you support smaller Government, vote for me. I've hardly even been noticed at my last job."
Posted by: Robert | September 17, 2004 at 07:30 PM
Great slogans.
Posted by: Kranza | September 17, 2004 at 07:18 PM
The slogans should be forwarded to the laggards who put out the farsical feces known as a Kerry statement.
Posted by: J Thmas Lowry | September 17, 2004 at 02:03 PM
Hey thanks 'Hawk. You know Kerry owns a chrysler 600 right? The pecker.
Posted by: Darren | September 17, 2004 at 07:32 AM
I love your list of slogans. They are truly inspired stuff.
Posted by: kdeweb | September 16, 2004 at 05:30 PM