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Now that Dan has fallen for another hoax("Draft coming back" email), can we look forward to another Inspector Dan Rather Mystery? Might I suggest, "Case of the Nigerian Financier," or somesuch? With Rather going nuts like this these things almost write themselves.


At Drucker and Fourth he turned left. At Fourth and Drucker he turned right, and into a great sandstone building (aargh)....


[Standing Ovation]

That had me ROFLing, Iowahawk. Excellent!

Ms RightWing

I couldn't put the book down. I even took it to bed and read the finish under the covers with my Eveready™ flashlight.

Dr Alice

Dear Iowahawk:

Marry me.

No, really.


First time visiting your site.

"asked the 32-30-41 silhoutte leaning on the frame" It took me a while to figure out the proportions - ew.

Well done. Great read.


I love it! More, please!


You have the genre down cold. Someday I think blogs will receive awards, but this post deserves a pulitzer nomination.



This was the best of all.. Heart and Soul, shadows and light, truth and dare.... it's got it all..

Inch by Inch...........slowly I turn.......Bwwwwwwwwwwwwwhahahhhahahaha!!

HawkNoir! TootSweet!


So CJ is a hophead, lives in Topanga and rides a Schwinn Phantom? I'll keep an eye out for him next time I'm up in the canyon. Thanks for working Ace in, too. Props to him. Great stuff.


"...asked the 32-30-41 silhoutte leaning on the frame."


That damn near killed me.



Hysterical - I think I snorted some hot muddy Joe trying not to laugh and spit it on the keyboard. Thanks!!!!!!!!!

David Gillies

You've outdone yourself this time, David. I think this might be your best yet, and that's saying something.

Alan S.

In this context, I think "Schwinn Black Phantom" may be the funniest three words I've ever read. Marvelous work.

The Sanity Inspector

That's the best thing you've done since you turned pro from LGF's comment boards! Congratulations on having come up with it. Oh, and it's funny as all get-out, too!


"You may sit here in the waiting room, or you may wait here in the sitting room ..." Outstanding Firesign Theater invocation, Iowahawk. You da Nick Danger man!

Captain Holly

Absolutely. Freaking. Hilarious.

But when is the book going to be available on




did you write this fucking hilarious piece with IBM machine or MS Word with default settings?

Stewart Vardaman

Damned funny stuff, in a Bogie-in-a-trenchcoat kind of way.


AWESOME...!!! laughing my ass off!!!


...damn funny. Right up until you had to take a potshot at us Tennesseans. We vote Bush for God's sake.

OK. It was still funny.



oops, what an idiot i am. sorry ;)

note to self, look below, not above your post.


hey, my name isn't 'Hillbilly geek'

although I am one....

call me moflicky


"juiced on reefer pills"

ah, memories....

hillbilly geek

Wonderful! Your best yet.

Now, how about something from Frank Herbert....
after all, dare I say it, she is the...
Shadout Mapes!


Oh, please, there has to be more!

Joshua Scholar

We're so unworthy!

Jeff G

I always slather my rubber gloves in squeeze butter, then roll them in ground fiberglass. I find such a procedure makes the interrogation more...piquant...


wow! This is hilarious, good job


So, that is the frequency!

Runner Rick

Absolutely brilliant! Thanks!

I have nothing but awe for you, iowahawk. OMG.


More! More!
"Its whitewalls squealing a noisy complaint" caused severe hyperventilation.

Iron Fist

I am absolutely hurt you didn't have me beat the living shit out of him ;-)


Absolutely brilliant!


The best, great job!

Tim P

I laughed, I cried, I hurled, all over my oh so hot creamy white thighs. Oh no!! I'm channeling Ann Coulter!! Damn, I hate it when that happens.
Uncle Vick musta forgot my meds again. Oh well, great piece, yet again.

cowboy blob

Between Dan the Dick, and the Acme Rocket Skates, that's some good stuff!




Fucking genius!

Damn, that's funny. Perfect!


Good shit, my man...

Nice roundup. This memo business has always sounded a bit "noir" to my ears... Sheesh. I need ta lay off the sauce. Dan may just end up using ME as a "source"...

John in Tokyo



That is nothing short of breathtakingly brilliant.

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