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I am a Republican, because I believe in a strong military. By keeping my weak ass out of the military, it is stronger by default. For those brave enough to have seen military action, like Bill O'Reilly, Bush continues to toughen them up with doubling of insurance premiums and cutting the VA budget.

And of course, when one of our soldiers does fall, we must hide their body's return from public view -- for it is shameful to see such incompetence.

I am a Republican, because the KKK is soooo 1950's.

I am a Republican, because this environmental science-thingy stuff really cramps my dividends, y'know? Do you know what other greedy Republicans are charging for their hazmat disposal services? I've got three words for those of you living near my plant's illegal dump site: "not my problem!" (God Bless Dubya's EPA.)

I'm a Republican, because it is required by Iowa state law. By God, us simple, cornfield folk know the meaning of bootstrap-pulling. Well, that, and suckling the teat of massive farming subsidies.

And finally, I'm a Republican because there is a huge difference between hard work and wealth... and one should NEVER lead to the other. God Bless regressive FICA taxes, offshore profit scams, maquiladoras, and Chinese slave/child labor... there is NOTHING more American than that.

Bush Bless These United States.

Lord Whorfin

Bloody brilliant!!

By the way, what is DDF ?

George Bush:

I suppose everyone will have an above average salary?


You'll be pleased to know that after Mankiw spoke that particular truth he was run out of the administration.

There are companies that came back from the brink of bankruptcy after outsourcing some jobs; the remaining American workers would have lost their jobs if the outsourcing hadn't taken place. That aside, the benefits to the consumer almost always exceed the costs to employees who lose their jobs; no respectable economist, or even Paul Krugman, would disagree with Mankiw's statement.

Indeed, studies have suggested that Americans benefit more from outsourcing American jobs to India than Indians do.

Taxes shouldn't -- and, pace John Edwards, don't -- reward companies for these practices, but neither should they punish them.


personally im registered republican voted democrat this past election couldn't back a guy that has people under him that think outsourcing of job overseas is good for the american people and give tax breaks to corporations that already make so much money that they cant even spend it and definately wont be giving it out as a raise to there employees. take from the poor to give to the rich because they know how to get out of paying taxes on it with some help from bush.

George Bush

I'm sorry being a democrat has nothing to do with giving someone a job and free health care. Everyone in this great county deserves a job with fair wages. Democrats do not want to create more jobs by increasing the federal workforce, they want to increase jobs in the private sector by providing tax breaks to corporations that keep their employees in this country and not sending them overseas. I think Healthcare should be a God given right that is for everyone not just the privildged few who can afford it, or who has it provided through their employer. Everyone deserves affordable healthcare, it doesn't matter if your a minority or how much you make. Also Democrats want to protect the freedom of religion by not endorsing and supporting and integrating religion in government. (Republicans want the USA to be just like Iran a Theocracy) I believe our military budget is to hgh. We need to trim Military budget and spend that money on our nations failing schools and improve access to college for all americans, regardless of your income. If you want to go to College the government should provide you with viable educational choices. That is what it means to be a Democrat.

By the way my parents are Republican, so I made a very intelligent choice to fight for everyone not just middle white america. (I'm also a white male thank you very much)

Allen Smoke

I am a republican for most of the same reasons. Except for the self serving ones that you mention. No one owes you a job, health care, or art at someone else’s expense. After all, why should I be forced to pay for a crucifix in urine in the name of art? Where are my rights to say what or what isn't art? Under a blanket of government support for the arts some one else determines what art is.

There is a difference in what the government should provide and what we as members of a civilized society should do for each other. We should care for each other in charitable and supporting manner. Education is paramount to our success as a civilization, so we should attend to our education and the education of those that come behind us.

But there are aspects of a caring community that should be the result of the direct intentions and will of the community. Not forced by government by those who are in power at the time.

For the record being a democrat does not mean you don't pollute the environment. There are just as many democrat running companies that dump crud in the water as republicans. You should always remember that in the end there is always someone who uses less electricity, oil, rubber & plastic products, animal goods, etc who thinks your a hypocrite because you use more than they. Of course there is someone who wears clothes made out of straw eating soy who thinks that person is a hypocrite.

Don’t come across all holier than thou. In the end ask yourself, are you a democrat because your parents were or because you believe that a government should provide material things for its citizens. If you believe the latter, you’re a socialist. The former and you are an idiot. Think about it, most people are brought up with certain beliefs: religion, political, ideals, ethics, prejudices, etc. you are programmed to a certain disposition, but at some point the intelligent sit down and ask the question: why? They ask, do I believe this because it is what I was taught or is it because it’s true? Do you ever listen to Republicans or just dislike them and dismiss their ideas because they are Republicans.

In the end, I like clean water, freedom, art and I want to be healthy living in a safe and clean community. I want peace and prosperity for all. I like working hard and giving it my all so that I keep my job because I earned it, not because the government has forced someone to make them keep me on. You wonder why Republicans and Democrats don’t get along. It’s because we don’t spend time listening to each others and discussing the issues, but instead rely on stereotypes of the other.

Excuse me for the rant and poor sentence structure. I am more lucid when I have had fewer beers> Regards



Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant

Of course it didn't, Shitcliffe. It required something of which you're not capable: Thought.

Um Yeah

Are you really a Democrat? None of that stuff made any sense to me.

red clay

like He would fit.


Some funny stuff but I still do not believe there should be school sponsored prayer. Prayer is an individual manner and God doesn't want us to force Him down peoples' throats.


awol is obviously projecting ...smirk

the mommy refrence probably came to him as his mom hollered down the steps that it was time for bed...

Split-level Head

re: Why I'm a RepubliThug

The nerve of those thug Republicans for defending the US from people who want to kill us all. Now excuse me, I see a boy scout praying and I have to call my laywer to take care of that right away

The Owners Manual

IH, I shared this with FreeRepublic for you. Hope that's acceptabobble!
Great stuff.



A few further random observations:

1. I don't sit naked in front of my computer to play war. I sit naked in front of my computer to browse pictures of Brazilian Victoria's Secret models.

2. Diaper heads? I've seen some guys who look like they're wearing the tablecloth from a pizza parlor, but diapers? Baghdad Bob, maybe...Allah the Merciful knows he needs to hold the shit in.

3. I was particularly amused at the "who needs a job?" blast, as I not only have a job (as opposed to sitting naked in front of the computer, burning blunts, munching Krispy Kreme glazed and pleasuring myself to pictures of Howard Dean and Dennis Kucinich), but put in a full day on New Year's Eve.


No, but you probably ought not drive or operate heavy machinery.

john clark

aWol, never engage in a battle of wits when you are so obviously unarmed.


Looks like I can never read Iowahawk again now that he's been so thoroughly shamed in his comments. AWOL, do you have a blog? I bet you're very funny!

Iowahawk: How did the essay do in the contest?

I'm not aWol


Thanks for the heads-up, should I be on the lookout for Laura Bush's car?


I'm not aWol, your challenging IowaHawk to a duel of wits is sort of like Al Ciccerelli telling Louie Barone "F**k you! I'll f**k you up the ass and I'll split you in two!". You clearly have no idea who you're messing with.


...the shit is big.

I'm not aWol

Why I'm a RepubliThug -

I like to play big man chickenhawk warrior as I sit naked in front of my computer in mommy's basement. Blowing up diaper heads is good.

Blacks scare me because I have a tiny wee-wee.

Who needs a job anyway?

Patrick Sennett

Once again, funny funny shit. What is your Iowa home town?


Hilarious! I posted this to my site as satire that isn't. I think you've captured the essence of these people perfectly



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