Over the years the music industry has provided the listening public a treasure trove of musical excrescence, but only an elite few deserve recognition as instruments of torture. I humbly offer a few examples of these Olympian earwigs. Please feel free to offer your own suggestions in comments.
Caution: not safe for work. Not safe for home. Not safe for anywhere.
Click if you dare.
UPDATE CAUTION: NOW CONTAINS 27% RUPERT HOLMES ADDITIVES
White Plains -- My Baby Loves Lovin'
Terry Jacks -- Seasons in the Sun
Bo Donaldson & the Heywoods -- Billy Don't Be a Hero
Captain & Tenille -- Muskrat Love
Tony DiFranco & the DiFranco Family -- Heartbeat (It's a Love Beat)
Bobby Goldsboro -- Honey
Sammy Johns -- Chevy Van
Debbie Boone -- You Light Up My Life
RUPERT HOLMES UPDATE
For whatever reason (I blame trauma), I neglected to include the astonishing cannibalism-stalking-alcoholism soft perv rock oeuvre of Rupert Holmes in the initial posting. Consider it fixed, and you're welcome.
The Buoys -- Timothy
Written by Rupert Holmes and performed by the Buoys, the soft rock pride of Wilkes-Barre PA. Perhaps the finest cannibalism ballad ever to reach the top 20.
Rupert Holmes - Him
him HIM HIIIMMMM
Rupert Holmes - Escape (The Pina Colada Song)