What, you think I forgot? Rejoice citizen, it's time for the 8th Annual Iowahawk Earth Week Cruise-In - 7 days of peace, love, and carbon-belching horsepower straight from the garages of Iowahawk readers. Together we can combat climate change and celebrate Mother Earth - the Ultimate MILF®!
Want your hoopty featured in the Cruise-In? Spiff it up for a glamour shot, and follow the entry rules below. Best bring your A-game though, because when it comes to carbon production, Iowahawk reader take a backseat to no one!
- Submit a photo or video of your hooptie (preferably as a link), along with a pithy description, to the email link on the left using the subject line "Cruise In".
- Eligibility is open to fossil fuel-powered human conveyances (cars, motorcycles, boats, aircraft, spacecraft, etc.) and other devices at my discretion. E.g., an electric blender is not interesting; a blown Hemi-powered blender is.
- Please submit only those vehicles you personally own, or have stolen. I know many of you have pics of other people's cars, but this exhibition is about taking personal responsibility for the environment.
- If your vehicle was featured in last year's Cruise-In, please wait 'til next year to re-enter. Let's keep it fresh, people!
- Submission deadline Sunday, April 28..
I'll be posting frequent updates all week, with newest entries on top. And, when the contest concludes, I will take each into consideration before crowning the 2013 Iowahawk Earth Week Grand Champion Carbonator.
Let The Carbonating Begin!
SUNDAY APRIL 28
Well, that'll have to do it for this year's installment of the Earth Week Cruise In. Many thanks to all who participated, and stay tuned for the naming of the 2013 Grand Champion Carbonator!
Where does he get all those wonderful toys? "Ferrari Bubba" has been a participant in every Earth Day Cruise In since #1, each time with a different Ferrari. This year, he brings two!
A few of my Ferraris that have yet to grace your website - a 612 Scaglietti F1 and a 550. The 550 is parked in front of Muscle Shoals Sound.
Thanks, Bubba! In appreciation for this fine entry, I give you the finest car song ever recorded in that old buiding:
Who says machines and nature can't live in harmony? Native Iowan "Sodbuster's Daughter" sends this beautiful bucolic Grant Wood-esque portrait of her Impala frolicking beneath the puffy clouds of Beldenville, Wisconsin:
This is a picture of our 1962 Impala SS. There is a long and fantastic story of how this car "came home" a couple of years ago, but for now (because time is short) I want to just show you an artistic view of this beauty. To me, the blue sky indicates that all is well with the earth, and perhaps the Creator even appreciates this human achievement. No smart car will ever become an iconic classic like this one, seriously.
Tom says his Packard is a work in progress. But I say why wait? Take it to the track and go racing:
Dear Mr. Burge, This is a photo of my 1930 Packard 733 running chassis. It is powered by a 320 ci, 90 hp straight eight. Once reunited with it's body, the entire car will weigh around 3 tons, and will get a carbon-comfortable 9 mpg. Everything on this chassis is restored original equipment, except the chair, which is from a different year. Oh, and the firewall, which is wood. Some interesting things to note: 1) The canister on the passenger's side of the firewall (partially hidden by the distributor) is a tank that uses vacuum to take gas from the fuel tank and then gravity feed it to the updraft carburetor. 2) The tank on the driver's side of the firewall is a Bijur lubrication system. It uses a dash pot and spring piston to distribute heavy oil to 27 different spots on the chassis that require lubrication. Thus there are only two grease fittings on the entire car.
School Earth Day? Joe Richardson say, hey, teacher! leave those kids alone!
American cultural imperialism continues apace! Dominik from Down Under offers his righthand drive Caddy (with boastful vanity plates) as evidence:
Some Australians have adopted more Americana than just big macs. And like the kilojoule counter on the box (now mandatory in Oz) we wear our statistics with pride!
Dominik's countryman Bruce from Brisbane ups the ante with his thirsty thundercat:
True fans of Global Warming use 12 cylinders to assist in the eradication of fossil fuels. This cat gets 3mpg if driven vigorously and even has two tanks in a factory installed admission of Carbon friendliness.
In honor of all the fine entries from Australia this year, I'd like to offer this swell video shot by my buddy Piero DeLuca during his recent trip to Oz. If you want it on DVD, you can order here:
Why deal with a cramped little Porsche? Zoltan Newberry's Panamera sez 4 Doors No Waiting:
Just got this 2010 8 cylinder beauty - less than 23,000 miles. HAPPY EARTH DAY
WA Citarella's Skylark tweets a beautiful song to Gaia:
1965 Buick Skylark - Fireball V-6 with un-balanced firing under. Everyone smoked in '65, including the cars. Happy Earth Day. Bite me, Bloomberg!
FRIDAY APRIL 26
Just because I love machinery doesn't mean I don't appreciate natural wonders - like Linda Vaughn, Hurst's immortal Miss Golden Shifter:
And now, back to the vehicles!
Previous entries have featured Aussies and featured Mustangs, but now we have our first Aussie Mustang via Damo from the Clock:
Here is my 71 Mustang with carbon friendly 351 4V Ram Air shot near Mascot, Sydney, Australia.
Not many environmentalists understand where food comes from. It comes from trucks, like this one belonging to real life Nebraska farmer Troy Uden:
Nobody gets under the skin of Mother Earth like a Nebraska farmer does so this year I submit my 1994 Dodge 4x4 with the legendary Cummins Turbo Diesel engine. It wasn't digging deep enough (or long enough) ruts in the dirt so I had the engine turned up to 1,000 lb ft of torque at the crank, beefed up the transmission, put some new tires on it, and even glued on some shiny rust covers on the side. This thing is such a "Greenie" that the engine doesn't even make black clouds of smoke. I hope that won't get it kicked out of your party. Here is my truck's theme song.
Exciteable lad Steve "Big Balls" Abbott gets exclamatory about his beloved 2-wheeled ocean liner:
Now THIS is a middle finger to Mother Gaia! 1,834 CC's! 6 Cyl. Pumping pure Gaia tears as the throttle is opened to rocket this baby to 130 MPH! Hard cornering and sudden planned stops and burnouts both use precious rubber from Gaia's Rubber factory and sends blue heavenly vapors into the air! Comfort! Hell yes! If you are going to go out and besmirch the planet, why not do so in style and a look that all the Dames say "Hey Big Boy, want to give me a ride"… Then I flip up the visor on my Arai and they know that they have messed with a manly man and they buckle a little in the legs! Sorry Babe! This is about IowaHawk you ignorant Sl_t! Yea, it's a rice burner, but it's my rice burner and 100% American Made! So suck it Harley!
Ohioan Brian Borger shares his ginchy Poncho ragtop:
Dusky glamour shot of my 1968 Firebird. Not perfect yet, but getting better all the time. A lot of refined, dead-dinosaur fluid has flowed through the 4-barrel, the combustion by-products of which exit through a healthy set of headers and catalyticless dual exhaust pipes.
Eric Haverhill offers this tribute to Britain's V12 carbon-spewin', beer-smugglin' RAF flyboys of WW2:
Today’s modern day Neville Chamberlains concern themselves with battling global warming, organizing senseless Earth day rallies, denouncing violence, and composting their girlfriend. Yet, the brave gentlemen of the Greatest Generation had a far more pressing fight to concern themselves with: Defending their home land from invading Nazi’s. In her wisdom, Gaia recognized this injustice and donated some of her precious resources to build and fly these magnificent fighting Spitfires. Thanks to excellence of design combined with a little luck, it was found that beer kegs would bolt right into the place of the auxiliary fuel tanks. After delivering a right proper pummeling to the enemy, the pilots of these craft would return to their home land transporting barrels of carbonated barley goodness graciously donated by Gaia (and a few ungrateful Nazi Krauts) as rewards for their bravery. If they flew high enough and for adequate duration, the brew would be chilled plenty cold for the warriors for freedom and democracy to enjoy upon their return.
Tally Ho, Gentlemen! Citizens of the free world thank you for your brave service!
Now THAT'S what I'm talking about. When America was at its peak power, mighty land barges roamed the Earth - and Jason T has the land-bargiest of them all:
The 1959 Lincoln Continental Mark IV is 19' and nearly three tons of American Steel. One of the largest and most expensive American cars of its era, it was the pinnacle of domestic luxury. Getting at most 10MPG out of the venerable 430MEL engine when in perfect shape, my old beater probably tops out at 4MPG. It's a long long way from its former glory and while it kind of smells like a gutter, it's still looking up at the stars...
Having grown up on an all-International Harvester farm, you can imagine my delight at this rustic entry from KC Sorenson in Old Blighty:
International Harvester B414 (The B stands for British) 43.5 horsepower diesel. Built around 1962. Runs great on red-dyed, high sulphur fuel. Room for 2, if one passenger is a grand daughter. Great for ripping up Mother Earth.
What do Iowahawk readers do when presented with a peppy compact? Stuff it with an all-aluminum V8, top it with a fleet of Webers, and go racin'. From my Chicagoland buddy Jim Fuerstenberg:
This is the MGB GT V8 race car owned by a friend and which I have been fortunate enough to race.
Californian "Juanito Cabrone" shares his hardluck pickemup truck "Smash-O" which has survived several eco-terrorist attacks:
Here's my 2005 F150 Supercrew with the 4.6 V8 delightfully handing out about 19MPG Highway and 14MPG city - This young lass attempted to park her Toyota in the back of my thirtsy half ton. Her Toyota left on the hook for the great scrapyard in the sky. My Ford's in the body shop being fitted with it's FIFTH bumper and set of fenders - since this was the fourth time I've been rear-ended in it in the past five years.
Wroarrr! Mark Eaton prefers the Mustang's FoMoCo stablemate:
My 1968 Mercury Cougar XR7-G. It was a special model advertised by Dan Gurney, and is one of 631 made. Ford J-code 302 under the hood. Manages about 18 miles a gallon on premium which is a miser compared to my first car – a 1968 Cougar with a 2 barrel 390 X-code. I was lucky to get 8 mpg back in the early 80s. But then again, gas was a buck a gallon.
My Iowa homeland homie Clarke Van Meter puts his carbon offerings in the service of Demon Alcohol:
My 1991 C1500 does its part at only 12mpg but I feel my inner Al Gore just a little bit when I fire up my brew kettle with enough output to heat a 8200 sq ft house. 220,000 BTU's and uses 'em all.
THURSDAY APRIL 25
A few have asked about progress on my '32 Ford 5-window, a/k/a the Coupe of Wrath. Here's a pic from this week showing the shiny altar wherein the sacrifice of fuel and fire will be made. All will be revealed soon.
Ahh, nothing like a wooded natural glen filled with wild horses. From Tarheel stater Larry Card:
This is my 2011 Mustang GT/CS convertible. I haven't done many mods yet, but with 412 stock HP it has all the power I need, capable of shredding Pirelli P-Zeros at the press of the loud pedal. She did 13.2 at the dragstrip with the top down and me at the wheel, I wonder what she's capable of with a halfway competent driver and the top up.
LANDSHARK! Henry from Virginia sez 454 cubes are not enough for his 'Vette:
Below is my testimonial to the objectives of Earth Day: A completed, four-year restoration of my 1972 454 (now 461) Corvette. Whereas the original got 13-15 mpg, my rebuild gets 15-18 mpg and produces not 350 hp at the crank, but 410 hp. In recognition of this throwback, power to the people production, my wife has agreed to take her bra off before entering the car and I've been asked to go commando.
My old Portland drinkin' buddy Steve Carlson offers up a couple of family keepsakes, with his mom performing modeling duties:
The '36 Ford was my Dad's first car, acquired in 1939. He pretty much did everything to it (there was a garage across the street from his house). The pic was taken in the summer of 1941 with my Mom---they had been married less than a year. In six months, everything would change on December 7, 1941. Dad had various rides during WWII, but his Lockheed P-38J Lighting with two 1,875HP Allison engines had the most raw horsepower.
During the war most of the chrome and other metal trim was removed from the '36 for scrap metal drives, and the it was kind of sad-looking when they traded it in for the "I8NY" 1948 Packard with the Straight Eight. The Packard photo was taken on a road trip to Washington State's Olympic Peninsula in 1949. I remember the Packard as we had it until the late 1950's, although it was replaced with a 1955 Chevy Bel Air with the 265 small-block V8 with the "Super Power Pack" option.
Ahoy there mateys! Seadog Greg Malarik say anchors aweigh and sets a course for eco adventure aboard his personal Gaia Love Boat:
My Global Warmer. '72 Hatteras Convertible. She has 2 giant diesels slurping down 30 gallons an hour and holds 12 gallons of oil between them, of which a lot makes it past the seals and into the fire. On cold mornings she makes enough smoke to kill every mosquito within 200 hundred yards. And a proven fish killer. EcoCarnage.
Cheesehead Vegas Nelson doesn't let a little snow keep him from climate activism:
Just because we are having the Winter-that-never-ends up in northern Wisconsin this year, that doesn't mean we are still hibernating. This little toy has been "spewing" global warming all Winter, and now that the plow's off we can really have some fun in the woods. More carbon, the lake still has 15" of ice on it 2 weeks from fishing opener! Spew, Spew SPEW!
Another impressive Aussie entry (big hat tip to my good mate Tim Blair) from Pat Heuvel of Lysterfield, Victoria. Pat explains how he's doing his part to keep the Southern Hemisphere warm:
While my ride doesn't suck through our fossil friends like that of Mr Wilcox, I do ride mine every working day 32km to and from work. And this baby just lurves the 98 octane juice... you're welcome, Gaia. Anything I can do to help.
WEDNESDAY APRIL 24
Yes, it’s a pretend wanna-be, but it’s my pretend wanna-be, and the motor was built, plasti-gaged, and torqued-to-spec by me with the help of a couple of good friends and a surprisingly little loss of knuckle skin, and it’ll burn extra hydrocarbons (in the form of melted rubber) all the way through 2nd gear.
Well-heeled California environmentalist "T. Boddington Howell the 1st" sings the praises of recycling:
Attached is a photo of Mathilde, a 1971 Mercedes Benz 280SE 3.5 V8 coupe. She was liberated from a dysfunctional Chinese grad student at a very reasonable cost, and is in the process of a painstaking refit & refurb. Funny how those little bitty parts I thought were $9.95 turned out to be 89 Reichsmarks (36 Euros). Over and over and over.
The Germans have a sadistic tendency, but having had Mathilde restored to me I am now a good Earth Citizen having saved the planet from all of the extra carbon, steel, plastics, leather and lubricants that would have been necessary to build a replacement Hyundai. Doing one’s part is simply good form, you know.
Lovey and I would welcome you to cruise the Coast one summer evening as we swill martinis at some roadside café’.
Fred Boness shows that nothing adds to the beauty of a windswept seascape like a 4WD diesel:
This is one of five thousand Diesel Jeep Liberty SUVs built in 2005. It uses a Detroit Diesel Motori four cylinder, 2.8 liter, turbocharged Diesel that Jeep uses mostly in Europe where Diesel is more popular.
Newspaper columnist/Internet sensation Don Surber likes the wind to toussle his silver locks behind the wheel of his ragtop Mustang:
Sure my 2010 Mustang GT is only 300+ ponies and it gets 22 MPG -- but what it lacks in low-MPG it makes up in mileage. I drive it aimlessly for countless miles when the weather is sunny and bright and thanks to Global Warming, the number of Top Down Days is increasing. Win,Win. Best of all, I'm from Cleveland originally so I have a lower threshold for warmth. For example, it was 35 degrees when that photo was taken in Lewisburg, West Virginia, last November. (Proof: I'm wearing two shirts)
Mark from Brisbane is proud of his four-wheeled tribute to the Australian spirit:
Behold my magnificent white V8 Leyland P76! The type turns 40 this year. It’s quintessentially Australian. It is the only passenger car ever fully designed and built in Australia. It was about 15 years ahead of its time, pioneering many features now common in cars. And it was completely buggered up by lazy, greedy, retarded Australian unionists and godawful management. You can’t get more Australian than that.
It replaces my previous Leyland, which went (aiyoh!) the way of the Viking.
Martin Penn says 3 wheels are better than 2:
My Triumph Rocket III is the world's most powerful production motorcycle to date. She has a 2.3l engine and outputs 140bhp. The two-wheeler version weighs almost a third of a ton and manages around 30mpg. My trike conversion makes her even heavier and thirstier. I have also added lots of weighty, chrome-encrusted bits of motorcycle bling. I ride whenever weather permits (thanks to global warming the riding season is longer than ever!) and I just love her Gaia-wasting performance.
Amanda Bland's old man's Mustang is anything but a bland old man's car:
Put this on your blog!!
TUESDAY APRIL 23
I always wait in eager anticipation for the entries of Scott Wilcox, who has participated in every edition of the Earth Week Cruise. Once again, he does not disappoint:
I would like to submit my current ride for your consideration for the 2013 Earth Day Cruise In. Anything worth doing is worth overdoing and there is never enough horsepower. Therefore I hit the tracks with my 2012 Aprilia RSV4 Factory. Sucking down VP110 by the gallon while shredding Michelins by the trailer load it leaves black strips down Gaia’s backside exiting corners. When delivering it’s 200hp to the rear wheel the MILF just screams for more. Mother Earth has never been more satisfied. I’m proudly doing my part to defile the old women!
Shaken not stirred: my NY buddy (and Earth Day Cruise-In veteran) Charles Glasser blows the winter cobwebs from the pipes of his swanky '70 Jag E-Type in this inspiring video:
Mr. Glen is harboring Public Enemy #1 in his garage:
Here's my 2013 F150 SVT Raptor. 6000 pounds of dead-dinosaur-burning 6.2L V8 power and winner of the EPA's prestigious worst pickup truck for the planet award.
My Milwaukee buddy Bruce Rudy believes in using renewable locavore biofuels, so he built this eco-conscious injected alky-powered dragster:
Runs on alcohol so not much carbon to offer but here's 40 acres of corn burnt up.
Bruce, as it turns out, is also the new owner of my old beloved Coupe of Justice. To let you know it's in good hands, he sends this update pic of the ol' heap sporting some cute fender candy:
Sensitive artist Casey Craig explains this handsome sculpture:
Everything is bigger in Texas....especially the carbon footprint of my beloved 1969 Mach 1 Mustang.
Aussie Peter Munro rules the Outback in his FJ:
Here's my 4 litre FJ Cruiser, fitted with huge steel crash barrier thing called a "Bullbar" in Australia. Not only is it a bush bashing behemoth, totally useless for anything except tearing up Gaia's carefully tended gardens, it runs on Premium (95 Octane) fuel at a rate that would put a B-52 bomber to shame.
MONDAY APRIL 22
Canuck correspondent David McEwen shares a pic from his carbon-burning glory days:
Eastbound and down! Texan Emily Warner shows off the family ThunderChicken:
We have a 1974 Pontiac Trans Am SD 455 sitting in the garage. It's loud and gets about 2 mpg and burns through oil. I think my husband and I will take turns taking it to some of the more liberal Austin neighborhoods and burn rubber. We'll have to add the "STOP GLOBAL WHINING" bumper sticker to the back.
Holy Carroll Shelby: Like me (see below) Arizona's Michael Perkins drives a Ford. Except his GT500 King Cobra has 2x the horsepower of mine - in each and every one of its 8 cylinders:
I'll be taking this out & vigorously massaging the gas pedal. For the kids, of course.
I will kickoff this year's parade with the newest addition to the Iowahawk green fleet: the 1929 Ford Model A Roadster of Love. Unrestored original paint, canvas top, mechanical brakes, and determined lil' 40 hp flathead 4-banger capable of propelling it to breakneck 55 mph top speeds (well, okay, with a tail wind). And at 25 mpg, by far the most efficient 4-wheeled vehicle in my garage. The perfect hoopty for traveling America's gravel backroads, stealing pie from the windowsills of unsuspecting farm wives. Plus a rumble seat for bathtub gin and comely coeds! 23 Skiddoo!