With the government's frantic auto rescue plan rapidly descending the commode, it was clear to me that somebody had to grab the shifter by the knob and do something actually useful to blow the cobwebs out of America's car manufacturing engine. So recently I called my confrere Drew "Suicide Axle" Didio and we came up with our own patriotic automotive stimulus program. CAFE? TARP? Nope. COW -- the Coupe of Wrath, my Deuce 5-window which will hopefully hit the road late this year without Congressional approval. Here's a sneak peak:
Program financial highlights:
- Federal bailout funds used: $0.00
- Federal stimulus funds used: $0.00
- Executive bonuses paid out: $0.00
- Manufacturing jobs created: 2
- Lawyers, politicians, lobbyists and bureaucrats involved: 0
- Dealerships closed: 0
- Bondholders screwed: 0
Vehicle specs:
- Recycled materials used: 100%
- Domestic manufacturing content: 100%
- Parts sourced from all of the US Big Four manufacturers (Ford, GM, Chrysler, and Studebaker)
- Solid lifter 327 hybrid drive - will burn gasoline and rubber!
- Meets all 1932 federal mileage, emissions and safety standards
A ton of work left, but I'll post progress reports as justified. What's good for Iowahawk Motors is good for America!
