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I AM JOE

PH2008101601796

 

First, a pre-emptive apology for the intentional non-humor to follow. I promise that all future non-humor will be strictly unintentional.

We've all witnessed a lot of insanity in American politics over the last few years. Up until the last few days, none of it has seriously bothered me; hey, just more grist for the satire mill. But after witnessing the media's blitzkreig on Joe 'the Plumber' Wurzelbacher, I can only muster anger, and no small amount of fear.

Politicians -- Sarah Palin, Bill Clinton, et al. --  obviously have to put up with some rude, nasty shit, but it's  right there in the jobs description. Joe the Plumber is different. He was a guy tossing a football with his kid in the front yard of his $125,000 house when a politician picked him out as a prop for a 30 second newsbite for the cable news cameras. Joe simply had the temerity to speak truth (or, if you prefer, an uninformed opinion) to power, for which the politico-media axis apparently determined that he must be humiliated, harassed, smashed, destroyed. The viciousness and glee with which they set about the task ought to concern anyone who still cares about citizen participation, and freedom of speech, and all that old crap they taught in Civics class before politics turned into Narrative Deathrace 3000, and Web 2.0 turned into Berlin 1932.0.

Godwin's Law! you say? if the jackboot fits, wear it.

If it's meta-memes and meta-meta-narratives these media headlice want, so be it. I hope you will join me in expressing a simple bit of solidarity with this guy, Spartacus style. I AM JOE. I am a Wal Mart schlub in flyover country who changes my own oil and unclogs drains without a license. I smoke and drink beer and toss the football in the front yard with my kid, and I figure I can fend my way without handouts from some Magic Messiah's candy bags. Most everyone in my family and most everyone I grew up with is another Joe, and if you screw with them, you screw with me.

Are you a Joe? Say it proud. Leave it on every goddamn newspaper comment section and online forum. Let these pressroom and online thugs know you won't stay silent when they try to destroy the life of a private citizen for speaking his mind -- because for every one of them, there are a million Joe Wurzelbachers. And for that we should all be thankful.

--------------------------

Update: G.M. writes:

"I just am so mad about this media anal exam they're giving this guy that I made a graphic...if you like it you can use it or post it for download to get people showing solidarity."

Many thanks.

You can download the full size original of G.M.'s graphic here.

i_am_joe


Update II: I have received several requests asking permission to use the graphic above to make t-shirts and bumper stickers and assorted tchochkes for sale. The answer is NO. The thought of anyone benefiting  financially from this (other than Joe Wurzelbacher) is repulsive. If you want to use it as a bumper sticker, please feel free to download the image and apply with duct tape. If you want, office supply stores sell blank bumper stickers that you can put in your printer. PLEASE do not patronize any merchandise vendors (Cafe Press, etc.) who are trying to make a buck off this, unless EVERY LAST RED CENT of the proceeds go directly to Joe Wurzelbacher.

Update III. Some thieving assholes are now selling merchandise at Cafe Press with the graphic without permission. They have nothing to do with Joe, or G.M., who created it. Cafe Press has been contacted with a cease-and-desist. If you want to sell stuff with the logo and can prove all of the net will go to Joe, I will get get you the necessary permission. In the mean time, DO NOT PURCHASE anything there, or elsewhere with the logo. Print the damn thing off yourself, make your own t-shirts and such. You'll save a bunch of money, which you can send straight to Joe.

Update IV. Patrick Flynn goes Old School Shepard Fairey in promoting the meme:

David, I've come up with a graphic as well in solidarity with Joe... I'm Joe too, and I'm sick beyond belief, but no longer surprised at all the crap he's been put through because he had the audacity to ask a simple question.

pipe2

Image from a reader in Kansas.

yard_sign_small

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» I Am Joe from Average Voter
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    "next year’s Nobel economics winner"
  • Allahpundit, HotAir.com
    I think Iowahawk speaks for all of us when he says: It’s time for civility.
  • P.J. Geraghty
    "Funniest Blogger on the Internet"
  • Jennifer Rubin, Commentary Magazine
    "...there’s lots more there to make you laugh. Or cry."
  • Snapped Shot
    "comedic genius"
  • Letters from Glome
    "funny, profane, funny, and witty. Did I mention funny? His mockery of the system, politics and flapdoodlery is dead on hilarious. A master"
  • Associated Content
    selection, "10 Best Conservative Blogs"
  • Physics Geek
    "I am truly in awe of what Iowahawk manages to do on a regular basis. If Mother Jones syndicated his column, I would subscribe to the commie pinko rag, just to get my fix"
  • The Nightfly
    "Genius, thy name is Iowahawk"
  • Jeff Nolan, Venture Chronicles
    "Iowahawk writes some of the best satire in the entire blogosphere"
  • Joe Katzman, Winds of Change
    "If you're going to do political satire, be it left or right, it's worth taking a lesson from Iowahawk"
  • Right Coast
    "Iowahawk is a genius."
  • Innocent Bystanders
    "I swear, the funniest guy on the right-wing blogosphere today"
  • Dean Barnett, The Weekly Standard
    "the most brilliant satirist on the internet (or anywhere in the media for that matter)"
  • Froylein, Jewlicious
    "for all aspiring political analysts, donkphants, and simply people with a wicked sense of humour"
  • Mark Shea, Catholic and Enjoying It
    "Wow. Just wow... magnificent"
  • Whale Oil (New Zealand)
    "bloody funny"
  • 'Something Awful' Forum Posters
    "wanna ice axe that blogger"
    "i would like to point out that this really sucks and whoever wrote this should be strangled to death"
  • Gerard Vanderleun, American Digest
    "immortal"
  • Noah Pollack, Commentary Magazine
    "pure brilliance"
  • Tim Blair, Sydney Telegraph (Australia)
    "As Sandy Roberts says: 'When you think of Bhutan, you think of archery.' And when you think of Vettes, Ferraris and Hemi-powered rods, you think of Iowahawk and his LA-bound nitroclan"
  • Elder of Zion
    "Ever-brilliant"
  • Cliff May, National Review
    "Iowahawk understands what Obama is saying"
  • Ed Driscoll
    "As Always, Life Imitates IowaHawk"
  • Western Standard (Canada)
    "Warning: Iowahawk's brand of humor may offend Canadian fascists"
  • The London Fog (Canada)
    "Thank you Iowahawk... Canada is not worthy"
  • euRabia (Czech Republic)
    Míváte také někdy "jeden z těch dní?"
  • Six Meat Buffet
    "ever-brilliant"
  • Instapundit
    "It's IowaHawk's world; Hillary is just living in it"
  • Juliette Ochieng, Baldilocks
    "Sage, I tells ya"
  • Departmento de Humanidades, Instituto Internacional de Ciencias Sociais (Brazil)
    "O mundo pos-moderno encontra Geoffrey Chaucer: Isto é o que acontece quando revivem os Contos de Canterbury em nossos tempos"
  • Gudmundson (Sweden)
    "Glimrande elaka Jenny Westerstrand kanske aspirerar på att bli en ny Iowahawk, vad vet jag. Bra satir är det hur som helst för lite av i bloggosfären"
  • The Great Satan
    "luckiest man alive"
  • Maggie's Farm
    "If Iowahawk ever calls, and says: Road trip!, never say no"
  • Michelle Malkin
    "You almost can’t parody this mess... but Iowahawk can and does so again brilliantly"
  • Rachel Lucas
    "evil genius"
  • Barcepundit (Spain)
    "Pure genius"
  • Jules Crittendon
    "as usual Iowahawk’s unrelenting, merciless and cruel mockery [is] clear evidence that even at this late date, the old gods yet walk among us and would toy with us"
  • Artblog
    "delivers the coup de grace"
  • Physics Geek
    "Good thing that Iowahawk exists: otherwise, we'd have to invent him"
  • Jeff Goldstein, Protein Wisdom
    "Funny? This dude wouldn't know funny if it sidled up next to him at a barn razing and stuck it's nipple in his ear. "-- But that doesn't mean he isn't earnest..."
  • Kilátás a karosszékből (Hungary)
    A sikerhez viszont az is kell, hogy David H. Petraeus tábornokot egy megfelelő stylistcsapat vegye a szárnyai alá, mert ahogy kinézett a kongresszusi meghallgatáson, az valami rettenetes – szól Matthew DeBord megsemmisítő ítélete. Én zokogtam...
  • Joseph Bottum, First Things
    "I’m on the board of a literary magazine at a small state university, and, at the board’s meeting this spring, the editor mentioned that he had wanted to reprint the blogger Iowahawk’s hilarious swipe at the archbishop of Canterbury... Unfortunately, the editor said, the magazine couldn’t do reprint it. The legal adviser from the university’s administration had said no—not on the grounds that it was offensive to Anglicans and their archbishop, but on the grounds that it mentioned Islam, and the school could receive bomb threats as a result of publishing it."
  • Michael Goldfarb, Weekly Standard
    "masterpiece"
  • Tim Blair
    "crazy bastard"
  • Andrew Bolt, Melbourne Herald Sun (Australia)
    "Great skills"
  • Michelle Malkin
    "brilliant"
  • Dr. Melissa Clouthier
    "Did I mention that I love Iowahawk? Because I do. He's such a manly blogger and I'd like to meet him because he' funny and has a rotten streak. I like men with a rotten streak."
  • Jakarta Blok M (Indonesia)
    "5 bintangs on the 'Revometer'"
  • CathCon
    "This is the funniest material I have ever read on the internet"
  • Matt Hayden (Australia)
    "Bloke's a comedy god, I reckon"
  • Amused Cynic
    "...should be put in the National Archives next to the Declaration of Independence in the special nuclear bomb-proof case... Funniest thing I’ve ever read"
  • Ruth Gledhill, Times of London (UK)
    "utterly brilliant"
  • Patrick O'Hannigan - The American Spectator
    "Brilliant"
  • Peter Breedveld, Frontaal Naakt (Netherlands)
    "Speciaal voor de aartsbisschop van Canterbury deze geheel vernieuwde politiekincorrecte versie van de Canterbury Tales van de Amerikaanse blogger Iowahawk. Vooral de fraaie strofe 'everybody muste get stoned' zal de eerwaarde sharia-supporter uit het hart gegrepen zijn"
  • Lone Star Times
    "Only a hotrod fanatic from the cornfields of Iowa could concoct such a literary masterpiece"
  • David Freddoso, National Review
    "Now this is funny... brilliant rendering"
  • Resurrection Song
    "Good Lord, that's nifty...may not be the coolest thing ever in the ‘sphere, but it must be close... read and marvel at the wonder"
  • Public Secrets
    "Sheer genius"
  • Scott Johnson, Power Line
    "Virtuoso"
  • Rachel Lucas
    "brilliant... Awesomeness"
  • Document.no (Norway)
    "Som alltid leverer Iowahawk varene, denne gangen i form av en oppgradering av Chaucer i anledning erkebiskop Rowan Williams' sharia-uttalelser. Dette må være det morsomste som hittil er publisert i blogosfæren"
  • Rod Dreher, Crunchy Con
    "inimitable... absolutely brilliant satire"
  • Melanie Philips, The Spectator (UK)
    "too good not to share"
  • Jules Crittenden, Boston Herald
    "Iowahawk needs to quit screwing around and just change his name to Geniushawk"
  • Midwest Conservative Journal
    "It's Iowahawk's world. He just lets the rest of us live in it"
  • National Association of Manufacturers
    "Widely respected feared"
  • Zürcher Presseverein (Switzerland)
    "Dies eine Schlagzeile der US-Stiftung «Media Violence Project». Die Journalisten die hinter diesem Projekt stehen, möchten die amerikanische Öffentlichkeit aufrütteln und die Massen bezüglich Gewalt gegen Journalistinnen und Journalisten sensibilisieren. Hier findet man diverse Plakate und Sujets der Stiftung."
  • Lone Star Times
    "Between cleaning carburetors and restoring classic American cars, Burge churns out some of the funniest and decisively deadly wit and commentary on the web... Write the Pulitzer Committee and demand Iowahawk should win"
  • Roger Kimball, Pajamas Media
    "inspired … I was going to say 'parody,' but really it is far too close to the original to be called a parody. Really, it is like the play Hamlet stages to 'catch the conscience of the King,' a dramatic re-enactment of the very crime Claudius had committed but had yet to acknowledge. It worked for Hamlet; will Iowahawk’s performance work for the rest of us? It is too early to tell. But ... it is more truthful, and far more amusing, than anything you’ll read in the [New York] Times."
  • Power Line
    "Iowahawk deserves a Pulitzer"
  • Sissy Willis
    "should be required reading for all students planning a 'career' in journalism"
  • National Review Media Blog
    "Hilarious"
  • Mark Steyn
    "Meticulous... one man investigative unit"
  • Ace, Ace of Spades HQ
    "Fucking brilliant... Well played, Iowahawk"
  • Mary Katherine Ham
    "Hands down the best damn roadkill-centric caucus coverage you'll read"
  • Wat Tyler, Burning Our Money (UK)
    "brilliant and scary insight"
  • Paul Kedrosky, Infectious Greed
    "I really don't know how best to summarize IowaHawk's you-are-there white-trash treatise... If you crossed Hunter Thompson and Michael Lewis, you might get something this angry and bizarre"
  • The McMuffins (UK)
    "Iowahawk and his lovely wife... did not appear to be the psychopathic stalking killers we had been warned about, although that Iowahawk did have a murderous look in his eyes and an unusual amount of froth coming from his mouth"
  • Washington Times
    "Objectively hilarious"
  • Ace, Ace of Spades HQ
    "trust Iowahawk to bring the funny"
  • Hugh Hewitt
    "My turn on the Iowahawk carving board."
  • Ryan Cochran, The Jalopy Journal
    "Good pal and loon"
  • Los Boulevardos
    "Facts: 1) I think blogs are gay. 2) That dude has a rad blog."
  • AutoBlog
    "a very cool blogger"
  • Boing Boing
    "Our pal"
  • The Intertubes
    "Iowahawk must be one of the awesomest pack-rats ever"
  • Hog on Ice
    "Might as well not exist"
  • chasovschik
    "Iowahawk представляет впечатляющую коллекцию антикварных сельскохозяйственных приборов"
  • The Sophistry
    "One of the best writers in the world."
  • בצל טוב (Good Onion - Israel)
    אמנם היה קיץ והזרימה חלשה יותר, וגם ההצקות של זבובוני החול זה לא משהו שאפשר להתעלם ממנו, אבל באמת היה סיור יפה (הרבה מחיאות כפיים, צעיר ערבי שהכרתי וגו’).
  • Karl Maher
    "Dave Burge can read the terrorists' minds!"
  • Instapundit
    "Iowahawk for President: he's got my vote!"
  • Hugh Hewitt
    "2008's Christopher Walken... bad news"
  • House of Dumb
    "Fortunately, there's always Iowahawk to give us that 'last cigarette in front of the firing squad' feeling"
  • Adam Smith Institute (UK)
    "Tom Lehrer was wrong, satire is not dead yet."
  • Procurando Vagas
    "Todo ano o site Iowahawk promove um concurso bem diferente, o Miss Presidiária, onde você escolhe a condenada mais bonita dos EUA do ano... Mais vamos ajudar a patricinha e dar uma força, porque ela merece"
  • EU Referendum
    "superlative... wonderfully funny"
  • Panikowsky
    "А вот сатирическая издевка по мотивам..."
  • Balagan
    "Le blog américain Iowahawk, qui traite l'actualité par la dérision, a transposé les évènements du Moyen Orient dans le Midwest américain en jouant sur le fait que Mideast veut dire Moyen Orient"
  • Power Line
    "Amazing"
  • Zombie (ZombieTime)
    "Iowahawk is the most underpaid man in America"
  • Manolo (Manolo's Shoe Blog)
    "You are indeed super fantastic!"
  • Little Miss Attila
    "Iowahawk's the kind of guy you'd want to run into in that alternate universe. You know: the one in which no one is married, and the bars stay open all night"
  • Robert Spencer (Jihad Watch)
    "marvelously dead-on"
  • Banzai Aphrodite
    "Iowahawk reminds me why I love blogs"
  • Dan Collins (Protein Wisdom)
    "I pretty much suck Iowahawk's d***"
  • Free Counterpoint
    "This man is brilliant."
  • Lawrence Henry, American Spectator
    "The Internet humor champ"
  • Blacklake (Hot Air Comments)
    "I’d say Iowahawk was a genius, but geniuses aren’t generally very clever. Plus, studies have shown that nine out of ten have no idea how to clean a carb. So, statistically speaking, his geniushood is unlikely."
  • Michael Malone (ABC News 'Silicon Insider')
    "The great Web satirist"
  • Deep Thought Blog
    "Possibly the funniest blogger on Earth"
  • The Weekly Standard
    "Fantastic and profane parody"
  • Jonah Goldberg (National Review Online)
    "Very Funny... Much profanity, natch"
  • State 29
    "The King of all Insightful Vulgarness"
  • Gerard Van der Leun (Pajamas Media)
    "The Master of Disaster... Where else on the web can you channel-surf the spirits of Mark Twain and Big Daddy Roth on the same page?"
  • Dean Barnett (HughHewitt.com)
    "The reigning comic genius of the blogosphere"
  • James Taranto (Wall St Journal's Best of the Web)
    "the best way to respond to this sort of thing is with mockery, as blogger Iowahawk... devastatingly does"
  • Right Wing Bob
    "Iowahawk remains probably the most versatile purveyor of America - boosting depravity on the scene today"
  • Daily Kos commentors
    "The new McCarthyism... F***ing pr***. Now go cry to momma" ... “just punch the stupid f***er out"..."shut [his] f***ing mouth while I'm pummelling him"..."me & my brick in a dark alley"... "sharpen your knives"... "“maybe [he] will consider the possibility of getting a shot in the teeth”
  • Dr. Melissa Clouthier
    "Most bloggers would lose a bar room brawl. There are exceptions."
  • Rand Simberg (Transterrestrial Musings)
    "Next time Iowahawk beats up on you, just take it. If you try to fight back, it only gets worse. It's like one of those monsters that, the harder you fight it, the stronger it gets, because it actually feeds on your pathetic swats."
  • Blog Québécois
    "If Iowahawk ever decides to turn his guns on you, accept your beating with good grace and a rueful chuckle. If you try to fight back, it only gets funnier."
  • Roger Kimball (The New Criterion)
    "The excellent weblog IowaHawk summarized some of the thoughts I had... I must also laud David Burge of IowaHawk for his gritty pragmatism. He is no armchair crusader, full of empty imprecations."
  • Michelle Malkin
    "Iowahawk brings the funny"
  • Blackfive
    "This pipe-smokin' assassin is the pure ass heat"
  • James Waterton (Samizdata)
    "bloody magnificent... Is there a Nobel prize for comedy? If not, we damn well need one"
  • Mark Steyn
    "I take my hat off. This belongs to a very select group of Jokes I Wish I'd Thought Of First: 'It's that time of year when we honor the ultimate MILF: Mother Earth'"
  • Jim Treacher
    "I don't LIKE you. I LOVE you. In a GAY way."
  • Bill Whittle
    "I've met him, you know -- Iowahawk. 6'7" he is, arms like mighty oak trees, legs like even mightier oak trees: clear grey eyes looking to the far horizon, his lantern jaw set against the approaching storm but yet with a slight hint of a distant smile bourne of many combats won and mortal enemies vanquished. I stood speechless in his presence at a restaurant in Marina del Rey --- just speechless, weeping silently at the sheer magnetism and force of personality coming off the man in seismic waves; a transcendental, religious experience that kept me awake for a week, as if I had seen the heavens split open in a blaze of orange and purple glory, and all of God's Great Plan revealed. And when he finally did speak, it was the sound of distant thunder echoing off ancient mountains, a sound that predates mankind's puny schreeching -- a sound that, indeed, is antecedent to the founding of Life on Earth and comes carried through the ether on the shock wave of ancient dying stars. And though he only spoke twelve words during the four hours I stood in his presence, those words are with me still, a perfect dozen seared into my memory, written in gold across the great hall of my mind. He said, 'HEY, CAN YOU GET THIS ONE? I LEFT MY WALLET AT HOME.'"
  • Spongeworthy
    "But no shit, Iowahawk might get up tomorrow, get baked, grab his beautiful wife and ride his moped backwards to a Hells Angel rally, then drink himself into oblivion and fight about 7 crank dealers from the Racine chapter of the Death Jokers all by himself. Then maybe he'd go home, romance the beautiful wife, build a perfect retro treehouse for his perfect kids, drink a bottle of tequila, prepare a 3-course meal while beating away a push-in home invader and sacrificing him on a makeshift, though historically accurate, Inca altar he built in the woods behind the railroad tracks. Then he'd sit down and knock out a tremedously insulting Leftist parody that pissed off thread after thread of Kos and DU lunatics, romance the bride once again and fall asleep chuckling. It's like he's Paul Bunyan and Mark Twain rolled up into one hipster"
  • Allahpundit
    "profane... bloodthirsty... hilarious"
  • Patterico
    "...the guy is a comic genius"
  • Thomas Lifson (The American Thinker)
    "Now more than ever. America needs Iowahawk"
  • Tim Blair
    "...more cool than is healthy for any human... he is from deep space"
  • Charles Johnson (Little Green Footballs)
    "Iowahawk is some kinda damn genius"
  • Glenn Reynolds (Instapundit)
    "All I can say to IowaHawk is, 'We're not worthy'"