The demand for professional artists has never been greater! And now you can join the ranks of America's highly respected art community with a degree in Art from Yale University School of Art. For as little as $45,999.95 per year, our 4-year professional degree program will provide you with the skills you need for a fast-paced career in the Art Industry making as much as $60 -- $70 -- even $80 per week!
But I can hardly draw a stick man! How can this miracle program work for me?
That's the beauty of the Yale Art School system! Our certified instructors will teach you through our exclusive DYNAMIC TRANSGRESSION™ method. Old fashioned art instruction systems focus on boring repetition, but Yale's DT™ eliminates all the frustration and suicidal tendencies. No more messy brushes, sticky clay, or expectation of talent! All you need is bodily fluids and an insane desire for attention.
- Turn your eyelids inside out?
- Self-impregnate with a turkey baster and induce miscarriages?
- Hock enormous loogies?
Then you have what it takes to earn a Bachelors of Fine Arts degree from our accredited institution! We will show how to use DYNAMIC TRANSGRESSION™ to hone these skills for a glamorous career in the world of art. The key is important art power words like "Heteronormativity" and "hegemony" and "grant proposal."
Sounds great! But what happens after graduation?
With your Yale Art School degree, the sky's the limit! Our graduates can be found pooping, peeing and bleeding in some of the finest art galleries and warehouse performance spaces from the East Village to Park Slope. But that's only part of the opportunity story for Yale Art alumni. Here are some of the other exciting things you can do:
- Spark an intellectual conversation about the
hermeneutic boundaries of gender semiotics, art, and crap
- Start a ruckus
- Get attention
- Get a part time job at Kinkos for rent money
- Return home to live with your wealthy parents for a while
- Go back to graduate school at Yale Art
- Get a job teaching Art
- Get attention
Where do I sign up?
Act now! Cut out the coupon below and we will rush you a free information-packed booklet about Yale Art School including more details on the DYNAMIC TRANSGRESSION™ system and an easy-to-complete official application for a Federally Guaranteed Art Student Loan. Plus free sample art pooped out of one of our famous Art faculty -- retail gallery value over $100,000!