TV Classics: "That Darn Sandy"
After the cancellation of the western series 'Johnny Nuance' after the 1959 season, CBS turned to the newspaper comic pages to fill its 8 pm Friday night slot. Debuting October 4, 1960, 'That Darn Sandy' featured chubby 9-year old Jay Carruthers in the title role of little Sandy Baxter, the pint-size troublemaker made popular by the Hal Langston comic strip.
The series ran four seasons and added several catchphrases to the lexicon, like "gee golly whillikers, Mrs. McGrady!" and "I hope Mom and Dad can get me out of this one!" But by 1964 Carruthers had outgrown the role. At 5'6" and 225 pounds, it was difficult for the 13-year old continue playing an impish scalawag.
Typecast, Carruthers found it difficult to land other roles, although he did appear for two season as Billy in the '70s ABC campus action series 'Chutch.' Since then the former child actor bounced between various careers, including roadie for 80's glam metal supergroup Foxxy Sexxyn, and a 90's stint as a State Department counterterrorism analyst. Today Carruthers lives in Lake of the Ozarks, MO, where he sells time share condominiums. He also performs in the community theater and dreams of a return to the screen limelight.
"I'm ready for a comeback," says the 57-year old Carruthers. "Back when I was a kid in Hollywood I learned the true secret to acting success -- remember your lines, and know when to keep your mouth shut."
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EPISODE 2-03 "Hush Hush at the Library"
OPENING CREDITS
Animated title sequence of cartoon Sandy turning into a whirlwind, breaking through walls, knocking over cartoon Mrs. Grady, lovingly hugged by parents
THEME SONG (performed by The Sid Gonniff Singers)
Who pounded nails in the school bus tire?
Who ate the pie and set the cat on fire?
He'll steal your heart, and then your candy,
Don't call the cops, it's just... That Darn Sandy!
ANNCR: That Darn Sandy... brought to you by 20-Oxen Team Bleacho and Brown Ball Rockets.
SCENE I: MRS. McGRADY'S BACK YARD
MRS. MCGRADY: Sandy! Sandy Baxter! What in heaven's name are you doing up in that tree?
SANDY: Golly hi Mrs. McGrady! I'm chopping it down, just like George Washington! Timmm-ber!
(McGrady winces as branch crashes on top of her car)
MRS. MCGRADY: Now you come down here this minute young man! I put up with enough of your shennanigans in the classroom, and now you torment me in my own back yard!
SANDY: Aww, gee golly whillikers Mrs. McGrady!
(Sandy jumps from tree, landing atop Mrs. McGrady; knocks her to the ground)
MRS. MCGRADY (brushes self off): For goodness sake, why would you want to cut down my tree?
SANDY (saluting): I cannot tell a lie... my mom and dad said it ruined the view from our patio.
MRS. MCGRADY: Well, we'll just see about that! Come with me!
(scene shifts to Baxter's front foyer)
HAL BAXTER: We're horribly embarrassed, Mrs. McGrady... I guess Sandy just misunderstood what Helen and I were talking about this morning.
MRS. MCGRADY: A lot of good that does me now! That tree is ruined, and I'll have to have the rest of it removed professionally.
HELEN BAXTER: Please, Mrs. McGrady. Sandy is really a good boy at heart, and he was just trying to make us happy. We're really sorry, aren't we Sandy?
SANDY: Aw, gee whillikers, you know I am, Mom. Sorry Mrs. McGrady!
MRS. MCGRADY: Well, all right. But see that it doesn't happen again... just in case, I'm keeping his saw! Good evening!
SANDY: See you in class tomorrow Mrs. McGrady!
HAL: Okay, young man, it's off to bed with you. Your mom and I have some serious business to discuss.
SANDY: Golly! Like what?
HELEN: Well honey, it's sort of complicated.
SANDY: You mean like the time when Dad took those babysitters home, and the police...
HELEN: Yes, sort of. See, when Dad was on the school board, there were a few documents and receipts, that were sort of embarrassing...
HAL: ... and now that your mom is running for school board president, it's just that somebody might find them and get, well, the wrong idea, and...
HELEN: That is, if they find them. In the school library.
HAL: The one next to your classroom.
HELEN: In a green cardboard box.
HAL: Marked "School Board Account Ledger 1959."
SANDY: Ohhhh, I think I understand! You want me to borrow them, like I did with Mom's office papers.
HAL: Now, we didn't say that Sandy. Some people might think that would be hypothetically wrong.
HELEN: Yes honey, if the person doing it were hypothetically caught. Just let your conscience be your guide.
SANDY: Gee whillikers Mom -- you can count on me!
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COMMERCIAL SPOT #1
Beverly Hills home of Jane Morgan; three filth-crusted children enter
CHILDREN: Look Mommy! We found the mud pile!
JANET MORGAN: Hi ladies. I'm Janet Morgan, Helen Baxter of 'That Darn Sandy.' Not only do I play a mom on TV, I'm a mom in real life. And with three active children of my own, I know how they can get covered in ground-in muck and deep-seated dirt -- which leaves a bad impression on you. That's why I use 20-Oxen Team Bleacho, the detergent with the special grime concealing agent M-S-M.
ANNCR: Regular detergent only removes only some of the dirt. Now watch as 20-Oxen Team Bleacho circles the wagons around the remaining leftover filth...
TINY TRAILBOSS: Hyahhh, Oxen! Hyah!
ANNCR: and the shielding power of M-S-M covers it up with special concealing dyes and a fresh rhubarb scent.
JANET MORGAN: With 20-Oxen Team Bleacho, only you will know the dirt is still there. And I like that!
CHILDREN (now apparently clean): Can we go play in the mud again?
JANET MORGAN: I insist!
ANNCR: 20-Oxen Team Bleacho with M-S-M -- A wash so complete you'd swear it was actually clean.
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SCENE II: MRS. MCGRADY'S CLASSROOM
MRS. MCGRADY: All right students, let's settle down. That was the bell. Take your seats for roll call. Becky Anderson?
BECKY: Here!
MRS. MCGRADY: Sandy Bax... Sandy Baxter, what are you doing in that trenchcoat?
SANDY: Gee golly whillikers, Mrs. McGrady, it's awful cold in here today. May I be excused to go to the library? I've got a book due this morning and I don't want to have an overdue fine on my record!
MRS. MCGRADY (exasperated): Honestly! If you must.
SANDY: Thanks, Mrs. McGrady, I'll just be a few minutes!
(McGrady continues taking roll until Sandy returns)
SANDY (waddling oddly and clutching his coat): I'm back!
BECKY (raising hand vigorously): Mrs. McGrady! Mrs. McGrady! Sandy's hiding something in his coat!
SANDY: Am not!
BECKY: Are so! You're all lumpy.
SANDY: Am not! I just have an overactive pituitary. And you're a dirty stool pigeon rat fink girl!
BECKY (sticking out tongue): Mnmnmnm!
MRS. MCGRADY : Sandy Baxter! Take off that coat and bring it to me. We're going to get to the bottom of this right now!
(Sandy turns around, and reams of paper fall from inside his coat and pant legs)
SANDY: You'll never take me alive, copper!
(Sandy gathers up papers and chaotic chase ensues, with McGrady chasing him around the room. Sandy jumps on top of her desk)
MRS. MCGRADY : I'm warning you for the last time, get down right now!
SANDY: Ha ha haha! Top o' the World, Ma!
(Sandy grabs apple from McGrady's desk and beans her with it; bolts from the room in a flurry of documents)
MRS. MCGRADY (on intercom): Principal Raymore, this is Mrs. McGrady... Sandy's on the loose again!
(montage of McGrady and Raymore peering in doors)
RAYMORE: We've checked every washroom and closet... where could he be?
JANITOR CHARLEY: Mr. Raymore, Mr. Raymore, come quick! I heard some strange noises from the boiler room.
(Raymore, McGrady and Charley run to the boiler room to find Sandy shoveling documents into the boiler furnace)
SANDY: Ummm... I thought this was the book return.
MRS. MCGRADY : Caught you at last, you little scamp! Now you're going to pay!
SANDY: Aw, nuts! I sure hope Mom and Dad can get me out of this one!
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COMMERCIAL SPOT #2
Two boys enjoying a day fishing at country pond
BOY #1: Boy oh boy, fishing sure beats sitting in that stuffy classroom!
BOY #2: I'll say! Hey, want to try one of my Dad's cigarettes?
TRUANT OFFICER O'MALLEY: Now what's all this then? You boys are comin' with me!
BOY #1: Cheese it! It's O'Malley!
Boys try to run, but O'Malley grabs them by the earlobes
BOY #2: Ow! Pinched again!
JAY CARRUTHERS: Fellas, are you tired of this happening to you? Then do what I did - get a pair of Brown Ball Rockets, the big league sneaker with go... go... GO power!
ANNCR: Brown Ball Rockets from B.G. Fireyear, with the exclusive rocket-action vulcanized rubber soles that lets you stop quicker...
(Carruthers ducks beneath grasp of O'Malley)
ANNCR: go faster...
(Carruthers races across back yard, leaving O'Malley panting in futile chase)
ANNCR: and jump higher!
(Carruthers vaults across fence, magically flying into treehouse)
O'MALLEY: Grrr!
JAY: Ha ha! Hey, it's Whitey Kleinsdorf of the NBA Champion Utica Huns!
WHITEY: That's right, son. Pro basketball players like me swear by our Brown Ball Rockets.
JAY: They come in extra-wide sizes for husky boys like me, and have the patented Comfor-Grip hightop ankle pocket for storing homework and other important documents. Hey Whitey, need a light?
WHITEY: Thanks kid! (toussels hair) And remember when you reach for a smoke, reach for the all-pro hickory blended taste of Roanoke 100s... the official cigarette of the NBA.
ANNCR: Brown Ball Rockets, now available at Montgomery Grants for $2.95. Buy today and get an official Whitey Kleinsdorf autographed permission slip!
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SCENE III: PRINCIPAL RAYMORE'S OFFICE
RAYMORE: I'm sorry to have interrupted your day, Mr. and Mrs. Baxter, but I'm afraid that Sandy has gotten in a little trouble again.
MRS. MCGRADY : 'a little trouble'? Ha! He'll be lucky to get off with a simple expulsion!
RAYMORE: That will be all, Doris. I'll take it from here.
MRS. MCGRADY (leaving): have a grand time in reform school, Sandy Baxter!
HELEN: Please, Principal Raymore -- Sandy is really a good boy at heart.
HAL: He just gets a little rambunctious at times. Boys will be boys, and...
RAYMORE: Well, it's a little more complicated than that, Mr. Baxter. You see, Sandy didn't succeed in burning all those School Board documents.
(Hal and Helen glare at Sandy; Sandy sinks into his seat)
RAYMORE: In fact, Mr. and Mrs. Baxter, the ones I found on the boiler room floor concern both of you. And, I might add, could be highly interesting to School Board voters.
HELEN (sliding purse slowly across Raymore's desk): Can't we work out an alternative punishment for Sandy?
RAYMORE: Mrs. Baxter, are you trying to bribe me?
HAL: Think of it as a down payment on the raise you'll be recommended for... after Helen gets elected to the school board.
RAYMORE : Alright, Sandy. For punishment, I'm requiring you to paint yard signs after school for your mother's school board campaign.
SANDY: Gee thanks, Mr. Raymore!
RAYMORE: Oops! Clumsy me, seems I've knocked these documents into the incinerator chute.
(The Baxters leave Raymore's office and encounter a smiling Mrs. McGrady in the waiting room)
MRS. McGRADY: Well?
SANDY: See you in class Monday, Mrs. McGrady!
MRS. McGRADY: Nooooooooo!!
(The Baxters back home at the dinner table)
HAL : That was another close one! But all's well that ends well.
HELEN: I should say so! Thank goodness we won't have to talk about it again.
SANDY: Talk about what again?
HAL (tousseling Sandy's hair): That's my boy! And to show you how much we appreciate it, Mom and I stopped and got you a little gift.
SANDY (ripping open the package) : Oh Boy! A brand new saw!
CLOSING CREDITS / THEME REPRISE
Who flushed cherry bombs in the commode?
Who drove his bicycle over that toad?
He'll steal your heart, and then your candy,
Don't call the cops, it's just... That Darn Sandy!
