Bonneville Diary: Day Two
Friday, August 10, 2007
5:30 AM Up with the sun. Blair, myself and 11-year old Spawn of Iowahawk haul our bags to the trailer park gate and hitch a ride to O'Hare in Sergei's Russian Disco Taxi. Breakfast at the concourse K McD's served by the lovely and enthusiastic Shatana, in whose honor we compose a tender love song while waiting the Delta gate. Boarding time, Westward Ho!
9:45 AM Wheels down at Salt Lake City International. We fetch our bindlestiffs from the baggage carousel, keeping a sharp eye out for Mormons. Hey, was that a polygamist? Nevermind, we've got a Mitsubishi waiting at the rental counter. Little does the rental company realize what's in store for this innocent late-model compact. As we hit the I-80 West on-ramp, we can already smell the salt and nitro.
Take that, Gaia!
Follow that truck!
11:30 AM: 15 miles east of Wendover, HawkSpawn is screaming for bio-break. Blair four-wheel drifts the Mitsu into a salty Interstate rest stop for bladder relief and a brief comedy photo op.
Blair, outstanding in his field! Ha ha! Get it? See, he's out, standing, in a field. This is what we professional comedy people call a "pun."
"A salt... and battery"! Get it?? Ha hah ha! This is another professional comedy visual pun, the humor from which will eventually dawn on you, and will be funny. Trust me.
12:15 PM - Hotel check in. HawkSpawn and I are guests of the Montego Bay Casino in West Wendover, Nevada, whose decor is best described as Miami Vice meets 1885 San Francisco Victorian brothel, on mushrooms. By contrast, Blair's accommodations at the Western Motel in Wendover are reminiscent of a 1977 Ron Jeremy movie set. We slake our gluttony at the Montego's All-U-Can-Eat buffet.
Blair digs in under the seizure-inducing casino lights.
Methane warning.
1:45 PM: Stuffed, we head back east on I-80 to the Salt Flats, bearing a trunkful of ice for the Old Crow Speed Shop team. The access road ends and we creep the Mitsu through 200 yards of 12" salt water, encrusting it like a margarita glass. We bounce over a mile of washboarded salt before the surface smooths out, and after five more miles of salt spray we have reached our final destination.
This looks like the place...
Official race gas truck. Fill 'er up!
2:00 PM We finally arrive at the pits of the Old Crow Speed Shop, and the star of the show: the Old Crow belly tanker. Owner / driver Bobby Green began building this fine little bullet several years ago with the able assistance of Crew Chief Lucky Burton, Drew Pietsch, and Logan Davis, and this weekend marks its Bonneville debut. The Old Crow team tent is buzzing with excitement in anticipation of its assault on the V4/BGL (Vintage 4 / Blown Gas Lakester) world record.
A little background: WW2 buffs might recognize the logo as lifted from the famous P-51 Mustang of triple ace Bud Anderson. But it goes further than mere homage: the body shell of the car is actually an aluminum P-51 reserve fuel tank. Motivation comes from a 1932 Ford "B" motor, topped by a rare HAL single overhead cam conversion and a small vintage supercharger. 1937 Ford axles are found fore and aft, sporting 18" vintage Dunlop salt tires mounted on Divco milk truck wheels, with Moon discs. The car is a faithful recreation of the belly tank lakesters first piloted by returning vets in the early postwar years of Bonneville. In fact, with the exception of modern nylon safety webbing and TIG welding, every bit of this car could have been obtained in 1952.
The car passes safety tech, and we celebrate with cold suds. Joining us in the pits are luminaries like Bobby's lovely and vivacious wife Carol, devilish LA artist /blogger Coop, clothing designer and Church Magazine founder Coby Gewertz, the wildboys from WyoTech, Carolina madman Taz, Keystone Staters Scary Larry and Junior, and my midwestern homies Cheesehead Bob Klessig, Johnny Sparkle and Aaron "Plowboy" Grote, Central Illinois' sexiest car customizer / fertilizer man.
Getting into the spirit of things, HawkSpawn tears down the salt on Lucky's retro Briggs & Stratton minibike with patriotic red, white & blue Pabst seat (photo courtesy Coop)...
the Devil Wears Adidas!
Scary Larry's Deuce roadster (via Coop)
Plowboy's beater truck, home of the Sgt. Schultz shift knob. I know NAHTINK! (via Coop)
Carol takes a break.
Let's hope not...
6:20 PM As the sinks slowly over the horizon, we bounce westward over the salt toward Wendover and de-lousing. We rejoin the Old Crow crew for victuals at the Montego. Showing us burger-munching Yanks what's what, Blair orders the lobster tail.
Crustacean - It's what for dinner!
Sated, we waddle off to the big improptu car show in the parking lot of the Nugget.
1130 pm - HawkSpawn and I are totally knackered. Time to crash, tomorrow is bigger yet.
To be continued
