Pulaski Infected By Dave Fever!

Barely a month into the campaign, the Iowahawk for President juggernaut continues to gain momentum - building up a fearsome head of downhill steam, packing enough potential energy to crush other fringe vote candidates like Mike Gravel, Ron Paul and John McCain. Evidence? I'm proud to announce that I now have the endorsement of an actual elected public official:

From: Ross Hunter
To: Iowahawk
Sent: Monday, July 02, 2007 1:35 PM
Subject: Why the hell not?

I'll endorse you so long as you promise to only hold the office for 2 terms.

Ross Hunter
City Council Member
City of Pulaski Iowa

It's a deal, Ross! And, as Attorney General in the Burge Administration, you will spearhead my number one legislative priority: extending the presidential term to 12 years. I think you will also be pleased to know that I'm not the type of candidate who will just accept a thoughtful endorsement like yours without a little quid pro quo. That's why once elected, I will be designating Pulaski as the site of the new $8.2 billion Ross Hunter Center -- headquarters of the new US Department of Government Waste Reduction.

And why not? According to highly-regarded Internet website Wikipedia, Pulaski is the home of 249 hardworking people, as well as The Hawkeye Trader, Pulaski Lumberyard, B&B Gas, Sinclair Gas Station & Restaurant, and Pulaski Car Wash. The tens of thousands of Washington bureaucrats soon headed there will be relieved to know that Pulaskians stand ready to service all their automotive, wood, and dining needs. But it doesn't stop there!

• Should those lumberyards and gas stations ever catch fire, the Pulaski Volunteer Fire Department stands at the ready with its badass new firetruck!
• Pulaski Park is home of the Pulaski Corn Show held every September. But don't worry, it probably has nothing to do with satanic vampire corn children.  "Local organizations serve lunch and dinner each day and there is entertainment every night," says Wikipedia. "On Friday there is a princess contest for 4th and 5th grade girls and on Saturday there is a parade with local organizations and businesses' floats." So bring your cameras, coolers, and lawn chairs, but leave the wooden stakes in the car.
• Pulaski is also home of the mysterious Pulaski Chicken Coop!  "WE eat, We sing, We shovel, and we have FUN!!"
• Pulaski is the home of teen fishing phenom Matthew Roberts, who finished 14th in the Bassmasters 2007 Junior World Championship!
• According to Wikipedia, "In 2006 Pulaski turned 150 years old. there were no celebrations." Wrong, Wikipedia! Because everyday is a celebration when you're in Pulaski.

Thanks again Ross, and I hope the rest of my readers will take the opportunity to visit your beautiful Davis County community, known as "The Throbbing Ventricle of America's Heartland."

I also hope the rest of you now see that supporting the Iowahawk for President campaign GETS RESULTS. Remember, "cash talks," and cabinet posts are limited. But even if you are strapped for funds you can still help out with your creativity. For example, you can enter my Iowahawk for President Bumper Sticker Contest! See below for crappy example. Send your submission to the email link on the left. Grand Prize: US Ambassadorship to the Cayman Islands!