Dateline Iraq: the Legion of Dumb gets results! Here are a few dusty pix from Senior Legionnaire and US Army stalwart Darren "Doc" Lee, showing his mighty Legion of Dumb-Vee adorned with a glorious rainbow of refrigerator magnets provided by you - the Iowahawk reader.
Impressive progress to be sure, but there is plenty of fender space left to be covered. Do your patriotic duty and send your spare magnets to
Sgt. Darren Lee
TPT 1634 1-33 CAV
3rd BCT 101 ABN DIV
APO AE 09390
If you are a blogger yourself, get the word out on Operation Mag-Neato - together let's show the evildoers that we're sticking with the troops!
Couple of cool things came over the transom in the last few weeks. I have long been a fan of San Francisco-based Garage Magazine and its potent blend of hot rods and hot babes. That's why I'm pleased to announce that some scribblings of Yours Truly will appear in an upcoming edition, which I believe will make me the first author to appear in both Garage and Middle East Journal. I am also pleased to announce that I have been appointed to the Lifeboat Foundation, where I will apparently be safeguarding humanity. I'm as confused by this as you, but if it gets me an aisle seat on the asteroid escape ship and a hot android chick, who am I to complain?
PRICELESS TREASURES FROM THE DAVE MUSEUM
New feature! By now most of you know I have a soft spot for hot rods and gals behind bars. But your old pal Dave isn't just about junkyards and jail cells; I'm also a connoisseur of the visual arts, and have, over the years, amassed a collection of important creative masterworks culled from the area's finest Goodwills and alley dumpsters. To help you, the unwashed online Philistine, cultivate your aesthetic palate, I am opening my collection for public view.
The first selection in this ongoing series is "Pity Puppy" (1964) by the celebrated 1960s artist Gig:
I acquired this emotionally trying piece at a second hand shop along Chicago's Roscoe Street. Note here the composition centered around the canine's haunted eyes, suggestive of animal cruelty, a likely early stylistic precurser to the postmodern Compassionate Head Tilt discovered by Australian aesthete Tim Blair.
HAWKEYE HOOSEGOW HONEY OF THE WEEK
This week's treat from the Polk County (IA) mugshot galleries is the arresting arrestee, Michelle. Unfortunately, I have misplaced the information regarding Michelle's vital statistics, alleged crimes and bond levels, so you will have to use your imagination. But this much is clear: with her bold striped ensemble and hairdo to match, this incarcerated cutie knows how to make a daring fashion statement!
A quick Hoosegow side note: now that we have assembled a quorem of honorees, I think it's time to start considering who deserves 2006 Hoosegow Honey of the Year, and I'll need your input. Rules and ballots will go out next week, so keep your eyes peeled!
THREE DEUCES AND A FOUR SPEED AND A 389
Several recent questions from concerned readers about the status of the Coupe of Justice. Not to worry, work continues apace and I am forecasting completion within the next few months (in fact, there is even more and greater iowahawk automotive news which I will be revealing soon). I am simply building suspense on the CoJ for its big debut. Bodywork is wrapped up, primer is curing, and the mill is getting buttoned back together as we speak. Here's a teeny taste:
Behold the heart of Justice: a fresh-from-the-machinist 1959 Poncho 389, balanced/ blueprinted, 030 over, 010 under on the rods and crank journals, 9.5:1 TRW flattops, hardened valve seats. Why? Because to be effective, Justice must be swift.
Finally, a sincere thanks to all of you who spanked the tip jar in the last couple of weeks. If you haven't gotten personal reply yet, I will be sending one soon. Your generosity has been a big boost for my morale (if not my liver).