Ah, Spring! For those readers who are devout Christians, I would like to offer my best wishes for a happy Easter. If you are of the Hebrew faith, I wish you a blessed Pesach/Passover. And if, like me, you are neither, I hope you have a big awesome agnostic seder, with kugel and latkes, and chocolate bunnies and Peeps, and a big stein of Mad Dog 20-20 with malted milk balls.
I've been slowly trying to ease back in this blogging thing, and thought I'd try to clear out some backlogged items in the semi-regular features.
HAWKEYE HOOSEGOW HONEY
Believe you me, Des Moines' Polk County arrestee galleries have provided mightly slim pickings for cheesecake lately. Just as I was beginning to despair from the seemingly endless parade of toothless meth-mugs, several of you took the initiative and emailed me nominations for this week's honoree, the winsome Jesika:
With those enchanting doe eyes and measuring an elfin 5' / 97 pounds, it's hard to imagine this comely 21-year old being a menace to Iowa society; still, her judge set an impressive bond of $65,000 on a charge of Possession with Intent to Deliver. Good luck, Jesika! And remember -- all Hawkeye Hoosegow Honeys are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law!
LEGION OF DUMB
Breath easy, citizen! For a limited time only, I have extended the enrollment period for the super-elite Iowahawk Legion of Dumb - a veritable "Who's Who" of the Internet's 526 leading movers, shakers, and troubled loners. Membership has its privileges!
Are you are already a member? Good! I have your first club assignment. To your right, you may notice "Google Text Ads." While hideous and embarrassing, I added them in hopes of generating a retirement nest egg. Based on the $0.17 income per month they generate, it appears that my golden years condo will be in a Burkina Faso refugee camp. As a result, I have considered pulling the plug; but I have decided to give Google one final chance. Since my payment is based on "clickthru," I would like to conduct a simple empirical experiment which I have entitled "The Macroeconomic Impact of Frenzied Google Ad Clicking on Blogger Beer Budget." Science calls, and there is no purchase obligation whatsoever. So click -- click like the wind!
THE HOUSE RECOMMENDS
The indispensible milblog formerly known as The Officer's Club has been relaunched as OP-FOR, and is an overdue addition to the blogroll. Speaking of milbloggers, I got a recent email from old pal and "hair tonic" supplier Doc Lee, who's now in Iraq and promises to provide reportage. I'll post updates and links when available. In the meantime keep Doc in your thoughts.
Hypothetically, let's say you are Coop, and your typical day involves hot rodding around L.A. and painting giant pictures of naked ladies. What do you do to relieve the hypothetical humdrum of being Coop? Maybe you could hypothetically design a special edition set of Coop Merc leadsleads for Hot Wheels. This is why I totally hypothetically hate you, hypothetical Coop.
Mister Jalopy goes conglomerate with a new spinoff blog, Jalopy Junktown, featuring cool treasures from his yard sale expeditions. If you're in Canada, you catch Mister Jalopy on Discovery Channel demonstrating his World's Largest iPod.
DAVE'S HOME MOVIES
A new feature, courtesy the magicians at YouTube. Well, not "home movies" so much, but a recent road trip adventure involving nitro and beer and music, as well as other activities YouTube wasn't keen on me uploading. The trip also featured a leisurely afternoon pub crawl with the nattily tie-dyed Tom Elia of the New Editor, a must-read for all nondorks. Thanks again Tom.
Anyhoo, hope you enjoy. Crank it up if you have headphones.
COUPE OF JUSTICE
Gettin' there, slow but sure. A number of you wrote asking what's up with the engine; basically, that comes last in the project plan. Block is currently at the machine shop, magnafluxed, and getting an .030-over manicure on the cylinders and .010 under on the rods and mains. Cratedigger and I will be dropping by the shop Saturday to review the whittling and maybe shoot some movies. Soon: stuffing it with a basket of tasty Easter Egge's.
