LEGION OF DUMB
Frankly, my whole Legion of Dumb recruiting campaign has really hit the wall, far short of the number I will need to conduct the operation I have in mind. That's why I'm offering a new exclusive perk for enlistees: free membership in the Iowahawk Smart Values Club loyalty program.
Simply enroll in the Legion of Dumb, send me a retina scan and a swab of your saliva, then print out your official Smart Values Club loyalty card! Easy as that, you'll be enjoying all the benefits of Iowahawk Rapid Reader Rewards. Carry the card with you wherever you shop or dine or sleep, and please avoid metallic canopies and interference-generating overhead power lines. You'll soon be receiving personalized offers and instructions made especially for you! Complete 10 tasks, and win a free small French Fries from Hardees !*
To make it official, please add your legal signature under the section titled "Agreement," but please avoid getting ink on the embedded RFID chip. It's my way of saying thanks! for reading Iowahawk.
*Participating restaurants only
I spy with my little eye... new names on the blogroll:
Dr. Alice -- She claims to be an MD, but would you take medical advice from someone who used to post comments at Iowahawk? I encourage you to pay a visit despite her dubious credentials.
WE HAVE A WINNER!
Brian Welker, come on down! Enjoy you new commemorative Iowa Pork Plate.
HAWKEYE HOOSEGOW HONEY OF THE WEEK
Thanks to my Hawkeye State paisan State 29 for covering last week's beauty parade from Des Moines' Polk County Jail while I was dealing with various issues. I'm back on the case again, and am pleased to present this week's alleged desperada... the enchanting Miss Erica.
How much trouble can you pack into a 5'3", 110 lbs package? The stern magistrates of the Des Moines bench seem to think the answer is "a lot," seeing as they set this jailbird's bond at a cool $270,000 -- shattering the all time record for a Hoosegow Honey! While all arrestees are innocent until proven guilty, I advise caution to any of you fellas who might be potential suitors: a Google search unveiled some additional recent troubles for our honoree.
I should mention that Marty at Mazurland nominated the femme fatale from this star-crossed tale of midwest boy-meets-mannequin from the Barking Moobat. Sorry Marty, I'll have to disqualify it because (a) the mannequin appears to be an innocent victim, and (b) contra the misinformation on Barking Moonbat, Sioux Falls is in South Dakota (Sioux City is in Iowa).
On an upbeat Caged Heat note: reader Nigel H. of Sausalito, CA sends this Yahoo news item about a a similar pageant competition in Brazil.
WHAT IS WAS, WAS FOOTBALL
1 Southern Cal 1258
2 Texas 1256
3 Penn State 1173
4 Virginia Tech 1119
5 TCU 1082
6 LSU 1025
7 Ohio State 1020
8 Oregon 997
9 Georgia 983
10 Miami FL 975
11 Notre Dame 944
12t Alabama 921
12t UCLA 921
14 Wisconsin 917
15 Auburn 887
16 Boston College 872
17 West Virginia 870
18 Florida 849
19 Michigan 837
20 Texas Tech 805
21 Boise St 796
22 Georgia Tech 791
23 Central Florida 790.5
24 Northwestern 788
25 Minnesota 765
A number of you wrote to ask (paraphrasing), "TCU? WTF?"
As I explained in the original post, a team's total points in the Bounty Method has two components --its own bounty value and the value of the bounties it collects. For own bounty value, a team gets (12, 11, 10) points for each (away, neutral, home) win against a D1A opponent. For wins against a non-D1A team, those points are halved; (6, 5.5, 5) for (away, neutral, home) wins respectively. TCU's own bounty value is 110 points, earned in 10 wins. The complete list of own-bounty values can be found here.
The second component of the Bounty Method is the value of the bounties a team collects. TCU has collected 10 bounties -- i.e., defeated 10 opponents. Those defeated opponents (with their associated bounty values) were:
Brigham Young (61)
Air Force (44)
San Diego St (54)
Colorado St (64)
New Mexico (68)
so TCU's collected bounties total to (74+61+44+54+44+39+64+20+64+68) = 532. TOTAL ranking points for a team = 5 x its own bounty value, plus its collected bounties. For TCU that would be (5 x 110) + 532 = 1082 total points.
Obviously, how win points are scored in the Bounty Method could have an impact on the rankings. For instance, I could have instead awarded (15,11,10) for each (away, neutral, home) win, or scored total points as (2 x own bounty) + collected bounties, and gotten somewhat different results. But that's really beside the point -- the original objective was a 'computer' ranking system that was objective, simple to understand, accumulative (sort of like the Nextel Cup points chase), rewarded teams that won on the road against tough opponents, and ignored blowouts.
A bigger issue with the method is that teams don't play common-length schedules. Most D1A teams have a 11 game regular season schedule, but some play 12 games. Teams with longer schedules have an inherent advantage under the Bounty Method, because they have a chance to accumulate more points. For instance, Wisconsin played a 12th game against Hawaii last weekend, which allowed them a chance to get more ranking points. One way to force a common 11 game schedule is to ignore the worst win of teams with 12 games. For example, Wisconsin (9-3) has 917 total points in the latest ranking, based on an own-bounty value of 98 and collected bounties totalling 427. Wisconsin's worst win was a home victory versus winless Temple, which has a bounty value of 0. Ignoring that game reduces Wisconsin's own bounty value to 88, but its collected bounties remain at 427; Wisconsin's total points would be be 5 x 88 + 427 = 867, dropping the Badgers from #14 to #17. I will institute this feature in next week's rankings.