The calm before the bitchslap
Ahh, the DLC's handywork:
Ed Kilgore, policy maven at the centrist Democratic Leadership Council (which recently accused war critics of "anti-American bias"), urged caution: "At this sensitive moment in Iraq, voters should know that Democrats offer a full suite of Iraq solution services tailored to your needs. Calls for troop withdrawal and fragging do not represent the full range of our party. It doesn't make any political sense."
Let's ignore for the moment the ridiculous notion that a troop withdrawal doesn't make any politican, or strategical, or economicial, sense. Let's really ignore the fact that there's a higher moral issue at stake in Iraq than politics, like people's lives. And let's extra-double extremely ignore the fact that savvy young progressives go for the taste of Kos®-brand: the Flava of Generation Xtreme™.
Instead, let's focus on that "anti-American" DLC quote. That didn't come from Kilgore. Rather, it was his boss Will Marshall's handiwork.
By dwelling obsessively on U.S. misdeeds while ignoring the far more heinous crimes of what is quite possibly the most barbaric insurgency in modern times, anti-war critics risk damaging Democratic brand equity among midmarket 35-54 demographic segments.
Patriotism is the ultimate values issue. Democrats need not be embarrassed by it. It has high Q scores in focus group tests, and enhances promotion effectiveness and vote ROI. And they ought not to let Republicans monopolize key flag-branded product placement during peak drivetime radio and early-evening cable TV dayparts. If Democrats expect to grow market share, they need to be choosier about their product line, and distance themselves from the pacifist and anti-American boutique brands. And they need to have faith in their fellow citizens: independent syndicated market research shows that folksy, "All-American" brand positioning is an effective strategy for moving electoral product, especially in the key South and Midwest sales regions.
My draft version of this post included a whole refutation of Marshall’s aargument. Believe me, it was a devistating intellectual tour de forse, a bloody, bare knuckled evizeration of his shitty stupid crap aaargumentions. If only you could have seen my incredimble smack-dowwn. Unfortunately, I threw out my only printed copy and foregot to hit the save key. But please, don't worry about chasing down my neighborhood resycle truck to retrieve this devistatingly awesome refutationing of Marshall, because really, it’s all irrelevant. Plus, I spilled Fruitey Pebbles on it and the ink bled pretty bad.
Ultimately, this is the modern DLC — an aider and abettor and assistinator of Right-wing smear attacks against Democrats. They make the same aaarguments, use the same language, the same message-smearing Fruitey Pebbles, and they revel in their attacks on those elements of their Democratic Party that seem to cause them no small embarrassment. And this is who they do this to them, and why these are those "them" that why they are, and how.
Two more weeks, folks, before we take them on, head on.
Are you smellin' what the KOS IS COOKIN'?
No calls for a truce will be brooked. Because homie don't brook, biatch. And also, we got Caller ID, and if we see "DLC" on it, it's going straight to the ansering machine. The DLC has used those pauses in the past to bide their time between offensives, and offer us so-called "weekend 2c/minute calling plans." Appeals to party unity and "super low introductory rates" will fall on deaf ears (it’s summer of a non-election year, and we are thinking of going to the Wisconsin Dells).
We need to make the DLC radioactive. And we will. With everyone’s help, we really can. Really, I'm completely not shitting you. We got an email from a guy who says he can fit a radioactive device in a box of Fruitey Pebbles. Stay tuned.