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Suburbs of the Afterlife has an excellent post on what it means ... Iowahawk plays fast and loose with Ask an Imam ... Harry Hutton, over at Chase Me Ladies, I'm In The Cavalry, opens voting ... And finally, Dr. Demarche posts a riveting acc... [Read More]

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» Shia vs. Sunni Fatwas from The Jawa Report
A fatwa is an Islamic religious ruling. In my absence Jeff at Beautiful Attrocities has been parousing the Ask the Imam site. The Ask the Imam site is obviously run by those crumudgeonly Sunnis. For instance:Q: What are the positions... [Read More]

» Submitted for Your Approval from Watcher of Weasels
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» Watchers Council Nomination from Diggers Realm
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» http://beautifulatrocities.com/archives/2005/01/real_questions.html from Beautiful Atrocities
REAL QUESTIONS FROM ASK-THE-IMAM.COM Islamic Q&A Online with Mufti Ebrahim Desai Q: I need to know what is the fatwa for passing gas from the front in women? A: Passing wind from the front in women does not invalidate the... [Read More]

Comments

Damian

Q: Imam, I'm a, uh, you know. And I've got this, ah, you know. So, I mean is it OK to, hmmm, you know? If so then, well, why, uh, you know? Because, ah, you know. Allah, be, um, you know. Thank, um, you know.

Sincerely,
Curious About, Ah, You Know, All That

A. Dear Curious in Allah, in His works, in His Goodness, in His sure-thing lotto picks, Allah, the Great, The Good, the Most Merciful and Forgiving and the Soft Touch for the Needful Zakat Sawbuck, be praised. OK, now, what is this some kinda joke? This is a column for serious religious queries. Whoever is writing this stuff making fun of Islam's imams, you are going to get one big fat fatwah slapped on your skinny sacrilegious kaffir butt, funny boy. May Allah the All-Merciful, the Compassionate, and All-Loving -- but not in any sense that Man-Boy thing -- visit the fires of Jahannam in the deep of your stink-hole and rip you a new one where he will insert your head and the heads of your family and the sinful limbs of forty of your compadres soaked in kerosene all squirming around-like in the parking lot of your newly enlarged bowels. Ha! How's that for funny, funny boy? Yeah. Pig-dog. Allah B. Good.

And so on and so on.

We make fun, but not more fun than the humorless Islamite provokes.

DGB

skinbad

I'm just wondering if Princess Diana's hind parts were shaved. If so, did that allow her mind to stay clean?

cthulhu

Regarding mary's fatwa memo:

I only wish the French cook that had me spending Bastille Day 1977 on the loo in a Parisian Girls' school had such a grip on sanitation...

mary

I didn't think 'Ask The Imam' could be parodied, because it's such a parody of itself, but you've done it. Congratulations! It's sort of parody of a parody, wrapped up in kufir cooties.

If you need more inspiration, here's another memo from the Fatwa department (warning: serious toilet humor)

http://islam.tc/ask-imam/view.php?q=13177

Earth56

The absolute best..dang I needed a good laugh from the idiocy of this religion

LHM

LOL
"pussy beano"


LHM

song_and_dance_man

IMAN

Q: I need to know what is the fatwa for passing gas from the front in women?
A: Pussy farts do not invalidate the Wudhu if they are silent. However, they are a sign of disrepect in the wife, and she should cut down on the falafel. If it continues, she should be beaten or given Pussy Beano or something.

IMUS

Q:I need to know what a fatwad is for in passing gas in front of a women?
A: A: Hussy pants do not invalidate the WhoDealtIt if they are silent in their passing. However, they are a sign of Depends dependancy in the wifes breathing becomes labored, and she should go to the O2's. If it continues, he should be beaten into depends with a latex fatwad in back that captures the passing.

Brian B

I was doing ok until I got to "Not only is this Deen, you will soon have a bitchin' Merc lead sled which is holy in the eyes of Allah, peace be unto him."

Then I lost it.

Confederate Yankee

Oh my, the dingleberries! Please, make the forbidden fruit go away!

Belize042

Pussy Beano? My face hurts, from trying to stifle the laughter.

noisy ghost

You made me laugh so hard, my head hurts. Next time, maybe you could break this kind of thing into two posts so I can recuperate.

>>Dingleberries make baby Mohammed cry.

Priceless.

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