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LHM

I love it!!!

David

The Divine Fart Theory is not new. It's been around for a long time. Usually it remains sort of silently in the background and can often be discovered in recently uninhabited elevators.

Of course the staggering death toll from the tsunamis is not funny at all. And I've no doubt that most humans have already sent, and continue to send, their prayers for the surviving families and friends of those lost.

There is however a more important story to be investigated, namely: Is Squarebob Spongepants really a CIA operative? Methinks so. you have seen the promo/trailer for SpongeBob SquarePants online, then you know that the main graphic shows our spongy little friend and one of his underwater companions charging out of the screen, with fierce looks of determination on their faces, and their arms all muscle-bound and pumped up, and a great fireball explosion behind them. How is it that these these gentle folks are being crammed into the role of freedom-fighting anti-terrorists? It's like if Beanie and Cecil or Crusader Rabbit had been drafted by the Neocons/BushCo and the ultra-right military-industrial complex to fight the "evil doers" of the world.

Just thought I'd mention it.


Sir Not Appearing in this Blog

"Peter Novak, chief science officer of the Sierra Club, dismissed Geary's "Divine Fart" theory..."

Would someone please call the paramedics? I'm laughing so hard I can't breath. Thanks.

Steve Skubinna

I have to say I, too, am appalled. Death toll is passing 100,000, and some peoples' reaction is to write pissy little sneers in blog comment sections. Wah fucking wah.

Get over yourselves, Nick and weblacky. We're not impressed, you pathetic whining twits. Go throw yourselves into a volcano to expiate our sins, why don't you? Great, we all appreciate your moral superiority, now go donate some money and shut the hell up.

CCR

I wish Moore would go after the health industry. It's about the only possible target that deserves him. The health industry is extremely messed up, though I haven't heard any suggestions for fixing it that don't stifle innovation AND require someone to invent time travel for the purpse of drafting King Solomon.

AxL

I will drive no more - forever.

TJ Jackson

Great satire. Boy I hope all the puritans manage to outlaw singing, dancing and joking before they abolish your site. Till then I'll offer up a sea sprite sacrifice to Gaia.

RichInOC

1. Unnnhhh!!! Me bow down to IowaHawk. IowaHawk write heap-big funny story. IowaHawk get top spot in Opinion Journal "Best Of The Web". IowaHawk heap big bad juju man.

2. Weird Al ran for president? I want a bumper
sticker, got dang it.

3. That's not alfredo sauce.

JorgXMcKie

Actually, I for one appreciate comments like weblackey's. The surest way to know the enemy is their cry of "That's not funny! That's not funny, damnit!" Poseurs and Puritans find pretty much nothing funny, I've found, but that have also found out that if they complain about every joke people point at them and yell, "Hey! Look at the humorless assholes who want to run the world." Thus, they try to disguise themselves by only complaining about jokes when they can call them "inappropriate material" for jokes. So, consider the complaint a signpost of sorts.

Brian B

Weblackey,

You might want to try wearing a size larger in pants.

weblackey

Since I've already made the faux paus of ticking your counter with a hit, I may as well say it. You're not right. I pray you never experience this trauma...but if you ever do, I hope you have a moment of lucidity where you feel embarrassed about what length you went to for a stupid hit on your counter. Of course, this would mean you had met some level of spiritual enlightenment, so good luck with that.

A.R.Yngve

Before you start feeling guilty for laughing at Iowahawk's satire: for over three decades we have heard environmentalists claim that HUMAN activity would cause NATURAL disasters.

As far I can recall, environmentalists never cared to demand earthquake early-warning systems... and why would they? Mother Nature is above reproach.

-A.R.Yngve
http://yngve.bravehost.com

Abu Qa'Qa

Hawk, obviously some folks don't realize you are treating this disaster with the same kind of serious investigation of say CBS or the AP.

Some say a little humor goes a long way. Others say a little humor goes too far. I choose the former over the latter. Thanks for your work.

noisy ghost

I'm also horrified by the tsunami, but I can still laugh at the above story.

After getting to the part about Michael Moore having a buttcrack in front and back, I can apparently pee myself a little, as well.

Reginleif

Reminds me of this article:

http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2004/12/27/discovery_of_ancient_village_derails_bridge_repair/

...which appeared in the _Boston Globe_ yesterday:

"Tribal members rubbed ceremonial red ocher on their hands and faces before taking part in the recovery work. At the end of the day, they washed up with specially treated water. Often a tribal member would play a wooden flute as workers dug into the ground.

"Such actions were meant to appease the spirits of the ancestors, according to Sullivan and Rice. As in many other traditional societies, local Indians think disturbing the dead could bring suffering to the living.

"'It's a fearsome thing,' Rice said. 'The spirits of the dead become restless and cause illnesses, accidents, and death. Western culture doesn't understand, but for the tribes, the consequences are very real.'"

"The consequences are very real"? Uh, OK...

Similarly, in a very recent _National Geographic_ cover story, Darwin's theory of evolution was upheld. I'm fine with that; I think creationism is bunk. But why did a story on a pre-Columbian ritual in a cave in (I think) Mexico bend over backwards to treat the cave-spirit theology involved with kid gloves?

pragmatist

Thank you BdS for the proper perspective
on this tragedy. No one, not even for a
moment, thinks it funny.

But a typical Human response to grief IS
laughter. It is called "gallow humor".

How can one comprehend perhaps 60,000 lives
literally swept away in a moment? One cannot.

But it is for us, the living, to make sure
the memory of the departed is kept with our
good ACTS. Not ridiculous words about how
to feel grief properly.

Shana Barrow

Cry me a sea sprite, Nick.

Micajah

Hoping for a role as a paid participant in some basic research project to create that sustainable economy -- beer-to-beer recycling?

"Remedial steps suggested in the report include ratification of the Kyoto treaty, elimination of automobiles, volcanic altars for virgin sacrifices, creation of a sustainable urine-based economy, and improved faculty dental benefits."

inkling

How DARE you have a sense of humor with all the suffering in the world! Don't you know how difficult it is to feign moral superiority when milk is coming out of my nose? BTW, if someone wants to help the victims (instead of, say, waxing puritanical in various comments fields), worldvision.org has set up a special fund for victims of the Asian earthquake and tsunamis. A very efficient and effective non-profit. Keep us laughing Iowa -- it's the only way we'll make it!

BdS

Ah, it would only be poor form if he was taking the first shot, but he's just mocking what loonies have already said. There's no good reason that they should be able to speak without rebuttal, just because the subject matter is tragic. Otherwise, where would the world have gotten all of those recipies for fat, Irish babies?

sanctimonious drivel

You also hurt Paul Ehrlich's feelings and disparaged goiter-sufferers everywhere.

In the future avoid reference to real people, current events and actual human diseases, conditions or appearances. You don't need these things to be funny.

Nick

I find it hard to believe that someone could actually write what you did... 40,000 people are dead... an entire generation of children in villages are gone. I didn't laugh... I thought this was pretty sick. Whatever you may think of eco-loonies, making a point about them by taking advantage of this catastrophe is poor form to say the least.

basil

Thanks! I needed those.

Leopold Stotch

"Chaos in Ukraine as Weird Al Yankovic Claims Victory"

I was nowhere near the Ukraine.

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