Notes and Asides

Minimalism

If there's one thing that really bugs me, besides the random freeway hallucinations, it's the thing where some blogger announces "blogging will be light." As in, "blogging will be light, as I am quilting Romulan throw pillows for StarTrek CraftCon," or "light blogging this week, I have to kill my mom." Hey, we're all saddened that your multifaceted go-go lifestyle keeps you from the keyboard, but believe me -- we'll get over it. Telling us "blogging will be light" is sort of like calling up the neighbors to announce you won't be nude sunbathing in the back yard for a while. Even if you're Lindsay Lohan, it comes off as more creepy than disappointing.

And that's why I have decided not to announce that "blogging will be light this week." Instead I am announcing that, in a Zen-inspired piece of experimental blogging performance art, I will be temporarily increasing my output of non-bloggings. Sophisticated readers will of course recognize this as an homage to the late John Cage and his radically minimalist 1952 composition 4'33".

If you are an intellectual with a degree in music theory or art history, please check back frequently this week. Enjoy the complex interplay between figure and ground as the compositional white space generated by my non-postings create a symmetric tension with the intriguing BlogAds on the right, which feature fine products such as those kick-ass Super Hoss Saw Horses which can support an entire F-150. Try finding those at the newly reopened MoMA, Poindexter.

But, if the prospect of a few day without my juvenile japery sends your life spiraling into a vortex of despair, I encourage you to visit the fine folks linked on the  blogroll to the left - especially Treacher, Ace, Goldstein, and Frank J., all of whom are consistently funnier, insightfullier, and smartassier than anything you'll find here. I'd also recommend the omnipotent Allah, but it seems that like his namesake he has abandoned the faithful. I'm guessing he's still out celebrating the World Series. I would also note some long-overdue additions to the blogroll, including

• Pave France - stylish francophobic &funny group blog featuring one of my NYC drinking pals, Damian Bennett.
• Jesus Had a Tatoo - probably my favorite new blog, featuring the stream-of-conscious sociopolitical humor of Big Al in Ohio. Very dry, very midwestern, very psychedelic.
• Baldilocks - Chicken blogger? Not this camo clad warrior-ess, who maintains a though-provoking blog while helping protecting America as a veteran military reservist. A favorite since our days at LGF, Juliette becomes the first sista on the iowahawk blogroll - narrowly edging out smart Christian gal LaShawn Barber.
• The New Editor - straight outta the Lone Star moonbat asylum of Austin, comes this erudite conservative group blog. Think Powerline with a little Tex-Mex flava.

Drop by and tell 'em Dave sent you. In the meantime I will be non-posting from the dangerous jihadi hotbed of London. If you're near a tube station and want to have a beer on Thursday or Friday, drop me an email.

What it Was, Was Football

Update on the latest NCAA "scalp" ratings:

Rank	Team	Games	Own Scalp	Collected Scalps	Total
1	Oklahoma	11	119	650	1245
2	Southern California	11	120	635	1235
3	Auburn	11	113	591	1156
4	Boise State	11	118	553	1143
5	Utah	11	120	526	1126
6	Texas	11	108	582	1122
7	Iowa	11	96	535	1015
8	Michigan	11	96	523	1003
9	Arizona State	11	84	523	943
10	California	10	98	450	940
11	Miami (Florida)	10	88	500	940
12	Tennessee	11	98	440	930
13	Georgia	11	92	458	918
14	Louisiana State	11	94	442	912
15	Virginia Tech	11	96	412	892
16	Florida State	11	86	449	879
17	Louisville	10	98	389	879
18	Wisconsin	11	96	390	870
19	Virginia	11	86	399	829
20	Texas A&M	11	74	443	813
21	Ohio State	11	74	400	770
22	Toledo	11	86	328	758
23	Boston College	11	83	337	752
24	Colorado	11	76	354	734
25	Texas-El Paso	11	81	323	728

Normalized to an 11 game season:

Rank	Team	Games	Own Scalp	Collected Scalps	Total
1	Oklahoma	11	119.00	650.00	1245.00
2	Southern California	11	120.00	644.80	1244.80
3	Auburn	11	113.00	591.00	1156.00
4	Boise State	11	118.00	543.67	1133.67
5	Utah	11	120.00	526.00	1126.00
6	Texas	11	108.00	585.10	1125.10
7	Miami (Florida)	10	96.80	560.78	1044.78
8	California	10	107.80	502.26	1041.26
9	Iowa	11	96.00	535.00	1015.00
10	Michigan	11	96.00	517.83	997.83
11	Louisville	10	107.80	434.61	973.61
12	Arizona State	11	84.00	524.43	944.43
13	Tennessee	11	98.00	440.00	930.00
14	Georgia	11	92.00	458.00	918.00
15	Louisiana State	11	94.00	442.00	912.00
16	Virginia Tech	11	96.00	413.60	893.60
17	Florida State	11	86.00	449.00	879.00
18	Wisconsin	11	96.00	384.83	864.83
19	Virginia	11	86.00	399.00	829.00
20	Texas A&M	11	74.00	443.00	813.00
21	Ohio State	11	74.00	400.00	770.00
22	Toledo	11	86.00	328.00	758.00
23	Boston College	11	83.00	337.00	752.00
24	Pittsburgh	10	75.90	363.00	742.50
25	Colorado	11	76.00	354.00	734.00

Comments

[DrLaszlo]

What, Nebraska is not #1?

What reason do I have now?

To Live?

[Frank J.]

I like a ranking system that puts Boise State at 4th (my brother went there and my parents have season tickets).

[bedrocktruth]

I really enjoy your humor and your wit, Iowahawk.

I hope you don't mind a bit of shameless shilling but I'd appreciate it if you would check out my new blog The Moonbat Abattoir.

If that's off base, hopefully you'll excuse and just delete the posting.

I really don't know how I should go about finding new readers.

Thanks for any help or comments.

http://moonbatabattoir.blogspot.com

[Liberal Larry]

FYI, commenting will be light for the next few months, as this blog frightens and confuses me.

[zorkmidden]

Thoroughly enjoying your non-posting, wish you were here.

Er... Thursday, Friday no good - AA meetings. Saturday all right with you?

[Jesushadatatoo]

Mercy Buckettes on the pimpalicious plug. Grab me some floss while you're in Merry Ol' Blah Blay.

[Juliette]

Thanks for the addition! BTW, I'm retired.

[spongeworthy]

Them are some sawhorse brackets.

[Jim Treacher]

It bugs me too, but it keeps people from bugging me even further.