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Harry Mallory

You're absolutely murdering me with these scripts.

Love this line:
"VOICE OVER: Saddle up, buckaroos! Now you too can be an old west diplomat with the Johnny Nuance Deluxe Junior Negotiator Kit. It comes complete with authentic letters of reprimand..."

That had me rolling!

Great job!


This is beautiful, Iowahawk! A tip of the hat, and a suggestion to move out to Hollywood and start writing!


Great stuff.


Great piece! Masterful satire and nostalgia all together...


Thank You so much IowaHawk.

Reminds me of getting up Saturday mornings in my PJ's and moving the rabbit ears on the TV until the grainy BW picture showed.

Absolutely marvelous

Chad Dimples

Keep on hawking in Iowa.
Thank you,
Chad Dimples


Wasn't this program sponsored by Johnny Eagle, the toy gun with the "safe, plastic bullets"?

Nice job, 'Hawk.


Probably the funniest thing I have ever read... saw it over at RWN... brilliant job IOWAHAWK!!

The Monster

Here's another ballad for the current episode of Johnny Nuance (just guess what the tune is):

He wore a bla-zing sun-tan
His nails were so well done
There is no one else who can
be all to ev-ry-one.

He's ta-ken man-y stances
though just to take them back
He's says he likes his chances
Of win-ning in Iraq

He'll hold a spe-cial sum-mit
We won't go it a-lone
He'll have the UN run it
Get Ko-fi on the phone!

While North Korea threat-ens
There's troub-le in Iran
A-cquir-ing nu-clear weap-ons
Is their sin-is-ter plan

Don't fear that those rogue na-tions
Will make of him a fool
He'll stop pro-lif-er-a-tion
by giving them the fuel

His name is John-ny Nu-ance
A gen-u-ine phe-nom
They real-ly like him in Frahhnce
As well as Vi-et Nam


"...back in ‘Tam..."


Hysterical, as per usual.
HAYES: Do you mind, Nuance? Me and the boys are a little busy here.

JOHNNY: You call this collection of drunks and layabouts a posse?
Ah, that Johnny, so good at rebuilding relationships with our allies!



By any chance is Lance LaDouche (In addition to being anti-Kerry) an extremely oblique swipe at Tim Robbins' character in "Bull Durham"?


Brilliant! I am laughing so hard I've exhausted all cliches to describe it!


Jesus, that was funny. Grrr! I'm peacefully boxed in!

John Rylander

Absolutely wonderful. Thanks, and keep it up! :)


I doff my hat to a master.


Love it!!!


Your are talented and I want an autograph before you rise up to star status. Don't forget us little people.


SNL my ass -- this is Firesign Theater worthy material.



I had the exact same thought about SNL when I read this. good stuff!

Don Brouhaha

I foresee another Johnny Nuance adventure in November at Truth or Consequences, Arizona.


Out-freaking-standing! SNL better hire you, toot suite (as Pierre would say)...


Wonderful, just wonderful! And to think I doubted you could top "Rather blames Rove in Rocket-Skate Mishap". (Well, maybe not top, but to me it's a tie.)



Lee Shore

Most excellent! Very nuanced!

Small quibble: Kerry's wife's house is on Nantucket, not the Vineyard.

"There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose ... "

Well, you remember the limmerick.

Notice that the Dems don't have this sort of humor to aim at GWB. All they can do is screech that he's a liar. But then Dems are funny folk. The natural butts of humor for their high seriousness (if that's what it is).


...we are *not* worthy!!!

w/ Chuck Connors as 'Marshall Hays', Don Knotts as 'Johnny Nuance', and Shelley Winters as 'Teresa'.

(In keeping w/ the '50s TV era..., yes I do remember it)


Outstanding! This is why you're on the short list of RSS feeds to watch. Keep up the good work!


If I didn't want to be cackled at for using French, I'd say, "Tres bon!" As it is, I'll stick to English and say, "Dude, that rocks!"


Great work! It's the sort of skit SNL would be doin' if they weren't DNC shills.

Right Wing Bob

Utterly perfect. Kerry defined and disposed of, and a barrel of laughs to boot.

Now why couldn't Bush just have said this ... ?

Dr Alice


uncle dave


that was brilliant LMAO


Geez, you really like to ask a lot of questions for a husband hunter.

Dr Alice

This is freaking brilliant. How do you come up with this stuff?

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