"Pow"

You know what I live for? That rare, beautiful news item so utterly perfect in its absurdity and devastation that it completely transcends satire. Behold, from the June 1, 2003 edition of the Washington Post:

And who is he, really?

A close associate hints: There's a secret compartment in Kerry's briefcase. He carries the black attaché everywhere. Asked about it on several occasions, Kerry brushed it aside. Finally, trapped in an interview, he exhaled and clicked open his case.

"Who told you?" he demanded as he reached inside. "My friends don't know about this."

The hat was a little mildewy. The green camouflage was fading, the seams fraying.

"My good luck hat," Kerry said, happy to see it. "Given to me by a CIA guy as we went in for a special mission in Cambodia."

Kerry put on the hat, pulling the brim over his forehead. His blue button-down shirt and tie clashed with the camouflage. He pointed his finger and raised his thumb, creating an imaginary gun. He looked silly, yet suddenly his campaign message was clear: Citizen-soldier. Linking patriotism to public service. It wasn't complex after all; it was Kerry.

He smiled and aimed his finger: "Pow."

Lid doff: Steven W at FR. Emphasis mine.

I've had some fun at Kerry's expense in the space, but I have never mocked his service in Vietnam or even his subsequent VVAW activities. The only mention I've every made of it was poking a tiny bit of fun at his Busby Berkeley Swiftboat Musical Extravaganza in Boston last week. So why not go after this low hanging comedic fruit? I have a close family member who, like John Kerry, is a decorated Vietnam combat veteran who ultimately stopped supporting it. Lefty goofball or not, Kerry's Vietnam service was off-limits as far as I -- a keyboard chickenhawk non-veteran -- was concerned.

After the rash of stories this week, I've re-examined that policy. The tipping point came when the Kerry campaign dispatched their "nuts and sluts" team to smear the SwiftVets who, incidentally, are decorated Vietnam combat veterans themselves. And as Mark Steyn notes,

But, insofar as I understand the rules of Campaign 2004, every time any member of the administration says anything about the present conflict, he is accused by Democrats of shamelessly "politicizing" it. Whereas every time John Kerry waxes nostalgic about those fragrant memories of the Mekong Delta, he should be allowed to take his unending stroll down memory lane unmolested.

On vacation back in Iowa last week, I had a chance to talk with that family 'Namvet. I asked him whether he had been following the SwiftVets stories. He had.

"Would it bother you if I did something on my blog about the whole Kerry / Vietnam thing?" I asked. Though we don't generally agree on politics, he reads me on occasion.

"Let him have it," says he.

And so I shall, where appropriate.

Comments

[Peter]

My first tour in the Southeast Asian War Games started in May of '65 when I went across the bow ramp of an LCM-8 landing craft three minutes behind the first wave of Amtracs at Chu Lai.
After my second tour I was telling all my younger brothers and cousins to do what it took to avoid serving in a combat slot in that war, not because we were wrong to go there but because the MacNamara/LBJ 'strategy' consisted of mindless wastage of young Americans.
I returned with a lot of bitterness but I never slandered the young men I served with.
I'm no kind of hero but I served with a few. John Kerry isn't fit to carry their sweaty jockstraps.

[Joan of Argghh!]

Go for it, hawk! No time like the present.

[Brian B]

This is the quote that caught my eye:

" It wasn't complex after all; it was Kerry."

Wait a minute, wait a minute... I thought Kerry was Captain Nuance. WTFO?

[lauraw]

ERK. (gag) HWUARFFFF.

How did the Washington Post reporter control the powerful urge to vomit?

Surely while Kerry was fondling the hat (which his maid found in a thrift shop bin), the reporter had to have been crunching up Tums and doing Pepto shots to fight down the acidic chum.