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Exit, Stage Left

"And tomorrow, you know what? You know what?!

WE'RE GOING TO THE BATHROOM, AND TO THE KITCHEN FOR A CUP OF COFFEE, AND READ THE PAPER!

THEN WE'RE GOING TO HOME DEPOT AND THE POST OFFICE! AND THE BANK TO DEPOSIT THE REBATE CHECK FOR THE CELL PHONE! AND JIFFY LUBE AND CHIPOTLE FOR A BURRITO! THEN WE'RE COMING BACK HOME TO CHECK OUR VOICE MESSAGES AND CHANGE THE CAT LITTER AND WATCH WHEEL OF FORTUNE!!!

AND THEN YOU KNOW WHAT?! YOU KNOW WHAT?!

WE'RE GOING TO BLOCKBUSTER TO TAKE BACK THE OVERDUE VIDEOS!!!!

YEEEEEAARRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!

February 04, 2004 |

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» We're going to Blockbuster from The Encyclopeteia
The odds of Howard Dean getting the nomination at this point are not very good. As far as I know, he hasn't quit, but IowaHawk had a little fun with him anyway..."And tomorrow, you know what? You know what?! WE'RE GOING TO THE BATHROOM, AND TO THE... [Read More]

Tracked on February 04, 2004 at 04:54 PM

» http://www.allahpundit.com/archives/000252.html from Allah Is In The House
Can Allah make a rock so heavy that he himself cannot lift it? No. Can Allah make a baby so fucked up that he himself cannot look at it without dry heaving? Yes. And before Allah's readers start sending him... [Read More]

Tracked on February 04, 2004 at 06:00 PM

» Dean out the exit from Inoperable Terran
Iowahawk is at it yet again. Drink alert!... [Read More]

Tracked on February 04, 2004 at 10:09 PM

» That Is Sooo Two Weeks Ago from Bloviating Inanities
I did this schtick weeks ago. Let's get with the program, Iowahawk. Although I must admit, his is funnier. [Read More]

Tracked on February 05, 2004 at 03:26 PM

Comments

ROFLAMO!!

Wow, I don't think I've ever seen a more disappointed look. Reality hurts, doesn't it?

Posted by: Syd Barrett | February 04, 2004 at 03:11 PM

AND WE'RE GONNA CATCH UP ON THAT NEW GRISHAM NOVEL! AND PICK UP THE DRY CLEANING!

YEEEEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!

Posted by: iowahawk | February 04, 2004 at 06:49 PM

...and to the white boys who run Vermont where I will try to get re-elected in one sinecure or another I say hey I was just kidding in Seattle. I love white boys. Some of my best friends are white boys. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaawwww!!!!!!

Posted by: WhiteBoy whatcha gonna do? | February 04, 2004 at 07:00 PM

WE GOT BOATS HERE FROM THESSSALY - AND THEBES - AND ATTICA - AND TROEZEN - WE GOT BOATS FROM CRETE, AND RHODES, AND CYPRUS - YEEAAAAAARGH

Posted by: Claudius | February 04, 2004 at 09:15 PM

And then depression set in....Yeeeaaahhhh!

Posted by: smitty | February 04, 2004 at 09:52 PM

AND THEN I AM GONNA HAVE SOME CHILI, AND THEN A BURRITO, AND THEN I AM GONNA TAKE A BIG SHIT BACK AT MY HOUSE!!!!! YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Kong | February 05, 2004 at 12:43 PM

Come on now, Dave, that's just mean. Mean, I tell you.

Posted by: RichInOC | February 05, 2004 at 06:30 PM

Thank you, Iowahawk. You have made my day.

Posted by: Flakbait | February 07, 2004 at 02:06 AM

Well, that's just MEAN. I mean, how do you think Al Gore feels when he sees people picking on his horse? Rotten, just rotten. Not sensitive at all. I died laughing.

Posted by: lauraw | February 09, 2004 at 08:44 PM

The comments to this entry are closed.

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Legal Mumbo Jumbo

  • Contents © 1999-2008 by Iowahawk.
    Linked excerpts are welcome. For reprint inquiries, please contact Lynn Chu.

Blurbs

  • Jim Treacher Tweets
    "David Burge always gives my brain a boner, and every ending is a happy one."
  • Clayton Cramer
    "As Good As Satire Gets"
  • Jude Christodal
    "satirical genius"
  • Steven Hayward, American Enterprise Institute
    "genius... I want to party with this dude"
  • Glenn Reynolds, Instapundit
    "As always, IowaHawk was ahead of the curve."
  • Rocky Mountain Occidental
    "I am beginning to believe Iowahawk might be the nation's best satirist"
  • Tattered Bits of Brain
    "brings the SarcastiBat to bear with brutal effectiveness"
  • Solicitr
    "a little outside the mainstream"
  • Charles Johnson, Little Green Footballs
    "Iowahawk could be the redheaded stepchild of Ursula K. Le Guin and Arthur C. Clarke, with P. J. O'Rourke hanging around looking guilty"
  • Jane Wells, CNBC
    "creative... snarky... below the belt"
  • PolMachina
    "iowahawk, you f**king genius"
  • David Kopel, The Volokh Conspiracy
    "can be recognized as satire because it is sometimes funny"
  • Small Dead Animals (Canada)
    "When the written word alone can make one laugh so hard that one has to leave the room to catch one's breath: I think that's notable."
  • Scott Noteboom
    "good, inbred Iowa boy"
  • John Podhoretz, Commentary Magazine
    "this latest posting by Iowahawk is, truly, one of the sharpest pieces of political satire written in the English language in ages"
  • Elder of Ziyon (Israel)
    "brilliant... the most biting, trenchant and witty criticism of the current administration imaginable"
  • Barnsley Bill (New Zealand)
    "bloody funny"
  • Creative Minority Report
    "Iowahawk is brilliantly funny"
  • Rand Simberg, Transterrestrial Musings
    "The most hilariously vicious politically incorrect satire on the web, from the warped mind of David Burge"
  • James Dunn, Vanguard Investments News & Commentary (Australia)
    "clever satirical news"
  • Swedish Superstock Association (Sweden)
    "Alla racers har nångång funderat på det....speciellt när vädret ibland är som det är..eller man tycker vintern är för alldeles lång..men att detta redan har prövats i dragracingens barndom är ju förståss "självklart" så att säga!"
  • Bookwork Room
    "Iowahawk is always funny, but sometimes his brilliance is so extraordinary you almost feel like looking away. This is humor that hurts."
  • Cynthia Yockey, A Conservative Lesbian
    "comic genius"
  • Dogfight At Bankstown (Australia)
    "Iowahawk could probably convince this saint to apostasize"
  • Tennessee Free
    "Marine-style knifing"
  • Rachel Abrams, The Weekly Standard
    "The inimitable Iowahawk... Really, is there anyone more brilliant?"
  • The Disloyal Opposition
    "I refer to him as the guy that I would be totally hot for if I was gay. Which I am NOT! (NTTAWWT) But if I was…"
  • R.S. McCain
    "Hawkie! Old boy!"
  • Meryl Yourish
    "he rescued me from a burning building"
  • Patterico
    "America's funniest blogger"
  • Fausta Wertz
    "the dance floor started to open and exposed a vast deep pool filled with man-eating sharks. The crowd panicked as a couple fell into the waters and the sharks feasted on them. Without missing a step or loosening his embrace, he led me to the entrance and with a swift move managed to both hit the switch that closed the shark pit and concluded the final dance step. He then said, 'It’s late. I must go tend to my blog.'"
  • Dan Collins, Protein Wisdom
    "He is Iowahawk of Typepad
    Master of the sparkling send-up
    When he posts, then douchebags tremble
    Realizing they’ve been skewered
    And with no recourse to match him:
    Mighty Burge, the Iowahawk”
  • Amused Cynic
    "perhaps the best-written, cleverest “F*** You” salute that I have ever seen administered ... I am hereby delivering a James Thurber salute to you, Dave, and popping the top on a 16 oz. can of PBR in your direction"
  • Mark Levin
    "Iowahawk nails it"
  • The American Catholic
    "Indispensable"
  • Michelle Malkin
    "Iowahawk is a national treasure."
  • Woody's Place
    "The guy is a smart ass brilliant"
  • Pamibe
    "Iowahawk is a genius. Or he keeps a cadre of gifted monkeys locked up in his basement and only feeds them when they produce material"
  • Dwi Murdianto (Indonesia)
    "Klik disini jika kalian tertarik untuk membaca artikelnya"
  • I Own the World
    "unparalleled genius"
  • Moe Lane, Red State
    "You know what the hardest part of excerpting an Iowahawk post is? Knowing when to stop. "
  • Fayola Shakes, Fodder In Her Wings
    "Sarcasm and snark at their best"
  • Bella Gerens (UK)
    "Every time I read Iowahawk, I laugh like a fucking drain... If he writes another one of these, I won’t have any kidneys left to burst"
  • John Derbyshire, National Review Online
    "at the top of his game"
  • Rage Against the Routine
    "Iowahawk is a national treasure"
  • Autumn People
    "Bow before the master... truly, truly fantastic work"
  • The Nightfly
    "a muse of fire to ascend the very heaven of invention... We all may as well retire from blogging right now"
  • Daily Kos
    "The wickedly funny right-wing parodist"
  • Quick Hitts
    "Far too many conservative writers come across as stupid and/or bitter and/or pompous and worst of all, humorless. It’s refreshing to to find one who is smart and funny, like Iowahawk"
  • Irwin Chusid, WMFU New York
    "Vos es a perdo vacuus spes, tamen is mos restituo vestri vita."
  • An Onymous Lefty (Australia)
    "Iowahawk's mockery is, for once, almost fair"
  • Andrew Breitbart, Big Hollywood
    "still cleaning up my britches"
  • Todd Lassa, Motor Trend
    "classic automotive humor"
  • Daniel Ruwe, Right Minds
    "The funniest person on the Internet. Every one of his posts makes me laugh out loud. Literally incredibly funny. You have to experience him to appreciate him"
  • Elizabeth Crum
    "For an idea of what I find brilliant and loveable in terms of sarcasm, satire and the like, see Iowahawk. He is one of our great modern-day scribes: smart, scathing, derisive, outrageous, and funny like few can be"
  • Jonn Lilyea, This Ain't Hell
    "funniest guy on the internet"
  • Andrea Shea King, World Net Daily
    "brilliant satire and wicked humor"
  • Jesse Macbeth
    "I'd like to take the time to address some of the stuff that I read on the Internet written about me... I got to tell you some of the stuff I saw was really funny. One of my favorites ones was actually the Power Rangers one, that was kind of cool."
  • Jools Krittindan
    "Then there’s Iowahawk. I don’t even know what he does for a living, something in Iowa, I guess. Yeah, society would function fine without him. It would just suck more. He gets an estate all his own: Iowahawk, the Sixth Estate."
  • AutoBlog
    "always entertaining"
  • Liz Stephans, the B-Cast, Breitbart.TV
    "Go there and educate yourself about what's going on in the world."
  • Feed Your ADHD
    "spending 5 minutes on Iowahawk’s site today…and then a few more hours this evening, I am…simply…changed. His site is the funniest thing I have ever read"
  • Obnoxio the Clown (UK)
    "What a Find!"
  • Cherry River Blog
    "Yes, this is a crude attempt to gain entrance to IH's hallowed blogroll, and maybe even a blurb-out listing, but I still stand in awe of the capaciousness of mind that Mr. Burge has demonstrated to a barely worthy Web world"
  • Tom Elia, the New Editor
    "The best satirist on the Web"
  • Michelle Malkin
    "the most superlative satire in the blogosphere"
  • Wikio
    # 38 World's Most Influential Political Blogs

    # 70 World's Most Influential Blogs

    Wikio - Top Blogs - Politics

    Wikio - Top Blogs

  • Tammy Bruce, KABC Los Angeles
    "I am tempted to get my iPhone and show my fellow islanders this link from Iowahawk proving their silly, mindless cult-like foolishness."
  • Slate's The Fray: comments
    "As much as I hate to admit it, the guy is funny. He'd be funnier if he agreed with me"
  • Jules Crittenden
    "I have received no remuneration or consideration of any kind for this shameless fawning boosterism and free advertising. Nor do I require any. To have been in some small way associated with the global Iowahawk phenomenon is more than most of us can aspire to in our miserable, inconsequential little lives. To bask in its electronic glow is to sense the existence of immortality."
  • Hot Flashes
    "The man I’d most likely invite to my bedroom in another life"
  • Public Secrets
    "Our 21st century Thurber"
  • Jim Henshaw
    "Neo-cons may not be as humorless as I thought, as this essay from Conservative blogger Iowahawk will attest. Even if you hate his politics, this is funny stuff"
  • Dave Bender, Israel at Level Ground (Israel)
    "Iowahawk is in the side of the wrong business, not to mention residing on the wrong landmass; he needs to get over here quick and start pumping out copy for the major news agencies"
  • Daily Pundit
    "Probably the best writer of satire on the web"
  • El Opinador Compulsivo (Argentina)
    "Iowahawk: realmente espectacular"
  • Jules Crittendon, Boston Herald
    "Iowahawk’s wild, unkempt observations may look like they’ve spent the last three days sleeping under a bridge, and be frightening and smelly up close, but they are conduits of fundamental, irrefutable truth. Much like the drunk who accosts you on a streetcorner and unabashedly proclaims, 'I need money for a bottle of Cossack.'"
  • Twisted Spinster
    "Iowahawk sticks the knife in so nicely that you don’t even feel it until everything starts to go dark and fuzzy"
  • Bill Whittle, National Review
    "My friend Iowahawk writes some of the most brilliant satire I have ever read. He likes to come across as a beer-swilling gearhead — because he is — but look at this ... simply so that I may bask in its reflected glory"
  • Rush Limbaugh
    "I've gotta share with you one of the funniest things I have ever read. It is by the blogger Iowahawk. It is one of the sharpest, most cutting, brilliant satires on these pseudo-intellectual conservatives... I've heard of Iowahawk. I don't know what his leanings are, probably lib, I don't know, doesn't matter. This whole thing is just wonderful, it is just hilarious."
  • Bill Kristol, The Weekly Standard
    "Iowahawk comes through again"
  • Jim-Rose.com
    "When someone uses the word 'genius,' who comes to mind? Einstein? Newton? Mozart? Rip Taylor? All great choices, but for me, the first name that pops into my head is Iowahawk"
  • Doubleplusundead
    "Brutal... the only way to describe Iowahawk's epic dismantling"
  • Bill Dyer, Hugh Hewitt.com
    "wicked satire that's close to the bone"
  • Chicago Boyz
    "National treasure"
  • Neocon Blonde
    "brilliant... Voici, dans tout sa gloire"
  • Quid Nimis
    "I think the reason I don't do Iowa Hawk everyday is the same reason I don't eat ice cream everyday: it's too good. That and the fact that I would have to leave my husband and stalk Dave Burge"
  • Investor's Business Daily
    "hilarious and creative"
  • Tim Blair, Sydney Daily Telegraph (Australia)
    "next year’s Nobel economics winner"
  • Allahpundit, HotAir.com
    I think Iowahawk speaks for all of us when he says: It’s time for civility.
  • P.J. Geraghty
    "Funniest Blogger on the Internet"
  • Jennifer Rubin, Commentary Magazine
    "...there’s lots more there to make you laugh. Or cry."
  • Snapped Shot
    "comedic genius"
  • Letters from Glome
    "funny, profane, funny, and witty. Did I mention funny? His mockery of the system, politics and flapdoodlery is dead on hilarious. A master"
  • Associated Content
    selection, "10 Best Conservative Blogs"
  • Physics Geek
    "I am truly in awe of what Iowahawk manages to do on a regular basis. If Mother Jones syndicated his column, I would subscribe to the commie pinko rag, just to get my fix"
  • The Nightfly
    "Genius, thy name is Iowahawk"
  • Jeff Nolan, Venture Chronicles
    "Iowahawk writes some of the best satire in the entire blogosphere"
  • Joe Katzman, Winds of Change
    "If you're going to do political satire, be it left or right, it's worth taking a lesson from Iowahawk"
  • Right Coast
    "Iowahawk is a genius."
  • Innocent Bystanders
    "I swear, the funniest guy on the right-wing blogosphere today"
  • Dean Barnett, The Weekly Standard
    "the most brilliant satirist on the internet (or anywhere in the media for that matter)"
  • Froylein, Jewlicious
    "for all aspiring political analysts, donkphants, and simply people with a wicked sense of humour"
  • Mark Shea, Catholic and Enjoying It
    "Wow. Just wow... magnificent"
  • Whale Oil (New Zealand)
    "bloody funny"
  • 'Something Awful' Forum Posters
    "wanna ice axe that blogger"
    "i would like to point out that this really sucks and whoever wrote this should be strangled to death"
  • Gerard Vanderleun, American Digest
    "immortal"
  • Noah Pollack, Commentary Magazine
    "pure brilliance"
  • Tim Blair, Sydney Telegraph (Australia)
    "As Sandy Roberts says: 'When you think of Bhutan, you think of archery.' And when you think of Vettes, Ferraris and Hemi-powered rods, you think of Iowahawk and his LA-bound nitroclan"
  • Elder of Zion
    "Ever-brilliant"
  • Cliff May, National Review
    "Iowahawk understands what Obama is saying"
  • Ed Driscoll
    "As Always, Life Imitates IowaHawk"
  • Western Standard (Canada)
    "Warning: Iowahawk's brand of humor may offend Canadian fascists"
  • The London Fog (Canada)
    "Thank you Iowahawk... Canada is not worthy"
  • euRabia (Czech Republic)
    Míváte také někdy "jeden z těch dní?"
  • Six Meat Buffet
    "ever-brilliant"
  • Instapundit
    "It's IowaHawk's world; Hillary is just living in it"
  • Juliette Ochieng, Baldilocks
    "Sage, I tells ya"
  • Departmento de Humanidades, Instituto Internacional de Ciencias Sociais (Brazil)
    "O mundo pos-moderno encontra Geoffrey Chaucer: Isto é o que acontece quando revivem os Contos de Canterbury em nossos tempos"
  • Gudmundson (Sweden)
    "Glimrande elaka Jenny Westerstrand kanske aspirerar på att bli en ny Iowahawk, vad vet jag. Bra satir är det hur som helst för lite av i bloggosfären"
  • The Great Satan
    "luckiest man alive"
  • Maggie's Farm
    "If Iowahawk ever calls, and says: Road trip!, never say no"
  • Michelle Malkin
    "You almost can’t parody this mess... but Iowahawk can and does so again brilliantly"
  • Rachel Lucas
    "evil genius"
  • Barcepundit (Spain)
    "Pure genius"
  • Jules Crittendon
    "as usual Iowahawk’s unrelenting, merciless and cruel mockery [is] clear evidence that even at this late date, the old gods yet walk among us and would toy with us"
  • Artblog
    "delivers the coup de grace"
  • Physics Geek
    "Good thing that Iowahawk exists: otherwise, we'd have to invent him"
  • Jeff Goldstein, Protein Wisdom
    "Funny? This dude wouldn't know funny if it sidled up next to him at a barn razing and stuck it's nipple in his ear. "-- But that doesn't mean he isn't earnest..."
  • Kilátás a karosszékből (Hungary)
    A sikerhez viszont az is kell, hogy David H. Petraeus tábornokot egy megfelelő stylistcsapat vegye a szárnyai alá, mert ahogy kinézett a kongresszusi meghallgatáson, az valami rettenetes – szól Matthew DeBord megsemmisítő ítélete. Én zokogtam...
  • Joseph Bottum, First Things
    "I’m on the board of a literary magazine at a small state university, and, at the board’s meeting this spring, the editor mentioned that he had wanted to reprint the blogger Iowahawk’s hilarious swipe at the archbishop of Canterbury... Unfortunately, the editor said, the magazine couldn’t do reprint it. The legal adviser from the university’s administration had said no—not on the grounds that it was offensive to Anglicans and their archbishop, but on the grounds that it mentioned Islam, and the school could receive bomb threats as a result of publishing it."
  • Michael Goldfarb, Weekly Standard
    "masterpiece"
  • Tim Blair
    "crazy bastard"
  • Andrew Bolt, Melbourne Herald Sun (Australia)
    "Great skills"
  • Michelle Malkin
    "brilliant"
  • Dr. Melissa Clouthier
    "Did I mention that I love Iowahawk? Because I do. He's such a manly blogger and I'd like to meet him because he' funny and has a rotten streak. I like men with a rotten streak."
  • Jakarta Blok M (Indonesia)
    "5 bintangs on the 'Revometer'"
  • CathCon
    "This is the funniest material I have ever read on the internet"
  • Matt Hayden (Australia)
    "Bloke's a comedy god, I reckon"
  • Amused Cynic
    "...should be put in the National Archives next to the Declaration of Independence in the special nuclear bomb-proof case... Funniest thing I’ve ever read"
  • Ruth Gledhill, Times of London (UK)
    "utterly brilliant"
  • Patrick O'Hannigan - The American Spectator
    "Brilliant"
  • Peter Breedveld, Frontaal Naakt (Netherlands)
    "Speciaal voor de aartsbisschop van Canterbury deze geheel vernieuwde politiekincorrecte versie van de Canterbury Tales van de Amerikaanse blogger Iowahawk. Vooral de fraaie strofe 'everybody muste get stoned' zal de eerwaarde sharia-supporter uit het hart gegrepen zijn"
  • Lone Star Times
    "Only a hotrod fanatic from the cornfields of Iowa could concoct such a literary masterpiece"
  • David Freddoso, National Review
    "Now this is funny... brilliant rendering"
  • Resurrection Song
    "Good Lord, that's nifty...may not be the coolest thing ever in the ‘sphere, but it must be close... read and marvel at the wonder"
  • Public Secrets
    "Sheer genius"
  • Scott Johnson, Power Line
    "Virtuoso"
  • Rachel Lucas
    "brilliant... Awesomeness"
  • Document.no (Norway)
    "Som alltid leverer Iowahawk varene, denne gangen i form av en oppgradering av Chaucer i anledning erkebiskop Rowan Williams' sharia-uttalelser. Dette må være det morsomste som hittil er publisert i blogosfæren"
  • Rod Dreher, Crunchy Con
    "inimitable... absolutely brilliant satire"
  • Melanie Philips, The Spectator (UK)
    "too good not to share"
  • Jules Crittenden, Boston Herald
    "Iowahawk needs to quit screwing around and just change his name to Geniushawk"
  • Midwest Conservative Journal
    "It's Iowahawk's world. He just lets the rest of us live in it"
  • National Association of Manufacturers
    "Widely respected feared"
  • Zürcher Presseverein (Switzerland)
    "Dies eine Schlagzeile der US-Stiftung «Media Violence Project». Die Journalisten die hinter diesem Projekt stehen, möchten die amerikanische Öffentlichkeit aufrütteln und die Massen bezüglich Gewalt gegen Journalistinnen und Journalisten sensibilisieren. Hier findet man diverse Plakate und Sujets der Stiftung."
  • Lone Star Times
    "Between cleaning carburetors and restoring classic American cars, Burge churns out some of the funniest and decisively deadly wit and commentary on the web... Write the Pulitzer Committee and demand Iowahawk should win"
  • Roger Kimball, Pajamas Media
    "inspired … I was going to say 'parody,' but really it is far too close to the original to be called a parody. Really, it is like the play Hamlet stages to 'catch the conscience of the King,' a dramatic re-enactment of the very crime Claudius had committed but had yet to acknowledge. It worked for Hamlet; will Iowahawk’s performance work for the rest of us? It is too early to tell. But ... it is more truthful, and far more amusing, than anything you’ll read in the [New York] Times."
  • Power Line
    "Iowahawk deserves a Pulitzer"
  • Sissy Willis
    "should be required reading for all students planning a 'career' in journalism"
  • National Review Media Blog
    "Hilarious"
  • Mark Steyn
    "Meticulous... one man investigative unit"
  • Ace, Ace of Spades HQ
    "Fucking brilliant... Well played, Iowahawk"
  • Mary Katherine Ham
    "Hands down the best damn roadkill-centric caucus coverage you'll read"
  • Wat Tyler, Burning Our Money (UK)
    "brilliant and scary insight"
  • Paul Kedrosky, Infectious Greed
    "I really don't know how best to summarize IowaHawk's you-are-there white-trash treatise... If you crossed Hunter Thompson and Michael Lewis, you might get something this angry and bizarre"
  • The McMuffins (UK)
    "Iowahawk and his lovely wife... did not appear to be the psychopathic stalking killers we had been warned about, although that Iowahawk did have a murderous look in his eyes and an unusual amount of froth coming from his mouth"
  • Washington Times
    "Objectively hilarious"
  • Ace, Ace of Spades HQ
    "trust Iowahawk to bring the funny"
  • Hugh Hewitt
    "My turn on the Iowahawk carving board."
  • Ryan Cochran, The Jalopy Journal
    "Good pal and loon"
  • Los Boulevardos
    "Facts: 1) I think blogs are gay. 2) That dude has a rad blog."
  • AutoBlog
    "a very cool blogger"
  • Boing Boing
    "Our pal"
  • The Intertubes
    "Iowahawk must be one of the awesomest pack-rats ever"
  • Hog on Ice
    "Might as well not exist"
  • chasovschik
    "Iowahawk представляет впечатляющую коллекцию антикварных сельскохозяйственных приборов"
  • The Sophistry
    "One of the best writers in the world."
  • בצל טוב (Good Onion - Israel)
    אמנם היה קיץ והזרימה חלשה יותר, וגם ההצקות של זבובוני החול זה לא משהו שאפשר להתעלם ממנו, אבל באמת היה סיור יפה (הרבה מחיאות כפיים, צעיר ערבי שהכרתי וגו’).
  • Karl Maher
    "Dave Burge can read the terrorists' minds!"
  • Instapundit
    "Iowahawk for President: he's got my vote!"
  • Hugh Hewitt
    "2008's Christopher Walken... bad news"
  • House of Dumb
    "Fortunately, there's always Iowahawk to give us that 'last cigarette in front of the firing squad' feeling"
  • Adam Smith Institute (UK)
    "Tom Lehrer was wrong, satire is not dead yet."
  • Procurando Vagas
    "Todo ano o site Iowahawk promove um concurso bem diferente, o Miss Presidiária, onde você escolhe a condenada mais bonita dos EUA do ano... Mais vamos ajudar a patricinha e dar uma força, porque ela merece"
  • EU Referendum
    "superlative... wonderfully funny"
  • Panikowsky
    "А вот сатирическая издевка по мотивам..."
  • Balagan
    "Le blog américain Iowahawk, qui traite l'actualité par la dérision, a transposé les évènements du Moyen Orient dans le Midwest américain en jouant sur le fait que Mideast veut dire Moyen Orient"
  • Power Line
    "Amazing"
  • Zombie (ZombieTime)
    "Iowahawk is the most underpaid man in America"
  • Manolo (Manolo's Shoe Blog)
    "You are indeed super fantastic!"
  • Little Miss Attila
    "Iowahawk's the kind of guy you'd want to run into in that alternate universe. You know: the one in which no one is married, and the bars stay open all night"
  • Robert Spencer (Jihad Watch)
    "marvelously dead-on"
  • Banzai Aphrodite
    "Iowahawk reminds me why I love blogs"
  • Dan Collins (Protein Wisdom)
    "I pretty much suck Iowahawk's d***"
  • Free Counterpoint
    "This man is brilliant."
  • Lawrence Henry, American Spectator
    "The Internet humor champ"
  • Blacklake (Hot Air Comments)
    "I’d say Iowahawk was a genius, but geniuses aren’t generally very clever. Plus, studies have shown that nine out of ten have no idea how to clean a carb. So, statistically speaking, his geniushood is unlikely."
  • Michael Malone (ABC News 'Silicon Insider')
    "The great Web satirist"
  • Deep Thought Blog
    "Possibly the funniest blogger on Earth"
  • The Weekly Standard
    "Fantastic and profane parody"
  • Jonah Goldberg (National Review Online)
    "Very Funny... Much profanity, natch"
  • State 29
    "The King of all Insightful Vulgarness"
  • Gerard Van der Leun (Pajamas Media)
    "The Master of Disaster... Where else on the web can you channel-surf the spirits of Mark Twain and Big Daddy Roth on the same page?"
  • Dean Barnett (HughHewitt.com)
    "The reigning comic genius of the blogosphere"
  • James Taranto (Wall St Journal's Best of the Web)
    "the best way to respond to this sort of thing is with mockery, as blogger Iowahawk... devastatingly does"
  • Right Wing Bob
    "Iowahawk remains probably the most versatile purveyor of America - boosting depravity on the scene today"
  • Daily Kos commentors
    "The new McCarthyism... F***ing pr***. Now go cry to momma" ... “just punch the stupid f***er out"..."shut [his] f***ing mouth while I'm pummelling him"..."me & my brick in a dark alley"... "sharpen your knives"... "“maybe [he] will consider the possibility of getting a shot in the teeth”
  • Dr. Melissa Clouthier
    "Most bloggers would lose a bar room brawl. There are exceptions."
  • Rand Simberg (Transterrestrial Musings)
    "Next time Iowahawk beats up on you, just take it. If you try to fight back, it only gets worse. It's like one of those monsters that, the harder you fight it, the stronger it gets, because it actually feeds on your pathetic swats."
  • Blog Québécois
    "If Iowahawk ever decides to turn his guns on you, accept your beating with good grace and a rueful chuckle. If you try to fight back, it only gets funnier."
  • Roger Kimball (The New Criterion)
    "The excellent weblog IowaHawk summarized some of the thoughts I had... I must also laud David Burge of IowaHawk for his gritty pragmatism. He is no armchair crusader, full of empty imprecations."
  • Michelle Malkin
    "Iowahawk brings the funny"
  • Blackfive
    "This pipe-smokin' assassin is the pure ass heat"
  • James Waterton (Samizdata)
    "bloody magnificent... Is there a Nobel prize for comedy? If not, we damn well need one"
  • Mark Steyn
    "I take my hat off. This belongs to a very select group of Jokes I Wish I'd Thought Of First: 'It's that time of year when we honor the ultimate MILF: Mother Earth'"
  • Jim Treacher
    "I don't LIKE you. I LOVE you. In a GAY way."
  • Bill Whittle
    "I've met him, you know -- Iowahawk. 6'7" he is, arms like mighty oak trees, legs like even mightier oak trees: clear grey eyes looking to the far horizon, his lantern jaw set against the approaching storm but yet with a slight hint of a distant smile bourne of many combats won and mortal enemies vanquished. I stood speechless in his presence at a restaurant in Marina del Rey --- just speechless, weeping silently at the sheer magnetism and force of personality coming off the man in seismic waves; a transcendental, religious experience that kept me awake for a week, as if I had seen the heavens split open in a blaze of orange and purple glory, and all of God's Great Plan revealed. And when he finally did speak, it was the sound of distant thunder echoing off ancient mountains, a sound that predates mankind's puny schreeching -- a sound that, indeed, is antecedent to the founding of Life on Earth and comes carried through the ether on the shock wave of ancient dying stars. And though he only spoke twelve words during the four hours I stood in his presence, those words are with me still, a perfect dozen seared into my memory, written in gold across the great hall of my mind. He said, 'HEY, CAN YOU GET THIS ONE? I LEFT MY WALLET AT HOME.'"
  • Spongeworthy
    "But no shit, Iowahawk might get up tomorrow, get baked, grab his beautiful wife and ride his moped backwards to a Hells Angel rally, then drink himself into oblivion and fight about 7 crank dealers from the Racine chapter of the Death Jokers all by himself. Then maybe he'd go home, romance the beautiful wife, build a perfect retro treehouse for his perfect kids, drink a bottle of tequila, prepare a 3-course meal while beating away a push-in home invader and sacrificing him on a makeshift, though historically accurate, Inca altar he built in the woods behind the railroad tracks. Then he'd sit down and knock out a tremedously insulting Leftist parody that pissed off thread after thread of Kos and DU lunatics, romance the bride once again and fall asleep chuckling. It's like he's Paul Bunyan and Mark Twain rolled up into one hipster"
  • Allahpundit
    "profane... bloodthirsty... hilarious"
  • Patterico
    "...the guy is a comic genius"
  • Thomas Lifson (The American Thinker)
    "Now more than ever. America needs Iowahawk"
  • Tim Blair
    "...more cool than is healthy for any human... he is from deep space"
  • Charles Johnson (Little Green Footballs)
    "Iowahawk is some kinda damn genius"
  • Glenn Reynolds (Instapundit)
    "All I can say to IowaHawk is, 'We're not worthy'"

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