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June 19, 2008

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Professor Jonathan

Well! I can't say that I'm not honored by Burge's invite to join the august company of contributers to Bolus, but quite honestly, I don't have a hell of a lot to write about: my life pretty much ended the day I decided to live in this God-forsaken hole where nothing ever happens other than the occasional urban riot and the ineluctable progression of a rather inquieting demographic curve.

It's been a decades-long NDE, and still no light at the end of the tunnel.

If that weren't enough - and I've never had the courage to confess this to Burge - after a number of failed attempts to partner with the local floozies, I've ended up living with a pigeon.

My little friend Poopzilla is actually great company, but certainly nothing to blog home about.

I could let him walk all over the keyboard of the Dell and submit the results, but I've too much respect for Dave and his readers to try to pull a fast one like that.

However if ever an idea does occur to me - other than wishing I was behind the wheel of a rag-top cruising down Highway 1, heading for the Cadillac Hotel in Venice Beach

http://www.thecadillachotel.com/

I'll let y'all know.

In the meantime, and as I often do in such times of confusion and stress - which is most of the time - I'm going to seek solace in one of the few things that make sense to me anymore: the soothing music of Aphex Twin and the inspired video of Chris Cunningham in WINDOWLICKER:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7ovoPCZSQw

Have a good one, people. Me and Poopzilla is outta here....


Professor Jonathan

Addendum:

It was the arch-famous (Sartre, Simone de Beauvoir)* Café de Flore and not the arch-famous (Sartre, Simone de Beauvoir)** Deux Magots where we ended the evening, Dave.

*Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir: the late and much-regretted duo of one of France's most celebrated comic teams - sort of the Gallic answer to Abbott & Costello).

** Same as above.

As for the Cadillac Hotel, it's a dump - or was when I last stayed, but it still feels like home. Other than the fact that home is also a dump, there's something about the vibes of the place: I'm convinced that ghosts actually haunt it.

It does have an interesting history:

http://www.thecadillachotel.com/history.htm

And it's still the closest thing to the Chelsea in NYC that I've found in Los Angeles.

It's past three ay-am in Paris, and if I can't leave you laughing, the least I can do is to leave you with a song - one of my faves too. Just follow the instructions to download:

http://files.ww.com/files/47584.html


Hi, my name is Stereo Mike

Yeah, we got 3 tickets to the Bran Van concert this Monday night
at the Pacific Pallisades. You can all dial in if you want to answer
a couple of questions, namely,
what is Todd's favourite cheese.
Jackie just called up and said it was a form of Roquefort.
We'll see about that...

give us a ring-ding-ding! It's a beautiful day.

Yeah Todd, this is Liquid ring-a-ding-a-dinging
want those 3 Bran Van tickets man
ring-a-ding
Todd?
ITS ALIVE RECORD, ALIVE!

I woke up again this morning with the sun in my eyes
when Mike came over with a script surprise
a mafioso story with a twist
a "Too Wong Foo,Julie Newmar" hitch
get your ass out of bed, he said:
I'll explain it on the way

but we did nothing
absolutely nothing that day
and I said,
what the hell am I doing drinking in LA
at twenty six?
I got the fever for the flavour
the payback will be later
still I need a fix

and the girls on the bus kept on laughing at us
as we rode on the ten down to Venice again
flaring out the g-funk
sipping on juice and gin
just me and a friend
feeling kinda groovy
working on movie
*yeah right!*

but we did nothing
absolutely buttkiss
that day
and I'll say
what the hell am I doing drinking in LA
at twenty six?
*with my mind on my money and my money on my mind, beer beer!*
I know that life is for the taking
so I'd better wise up
and take it quickly

*yeah one more time at trader vics*

some men there wanted to hurt us
and other men
said we weren't worth the fuss
we could see them all bitching by the bar
about the fine line
between the rich and the poor
then mike turned to me and said
what do you think we got done son?

we've got a conclusion
and I guess that's something
so I ask you
what the hell am I doing drinking in LA
at twenty six?
I got the fever for the nectar
the payback will be later
still I need a fix

*we need to fix you up
call me monday
and maybe we'll fix it all up*

L A
L A
L L A
L A
L A
L A
L L A
L A
L A
L A
L L A

so I ask
you what the hell am I doing drinking in LA
at twenty six?

Its alive record, alive!
Yeah, my first - yeah right.

L A
L A
L A
L A


B Moe

Dang, dude. How much would they want for them shoes if they matched, you reckon?

B Moe

Dang, dude. How much would they want for them shoes if they matched, you reckon?

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