A Little Off the Top

The oldest joke in recorded history is from Socrates.  Sitting down in a barber's chair, he was asked "how would you like your hair cut?" To which he reportedly responded, "quietly."

Buh dum dum.

Guess you had to be there. Socrates may not have been much of a comedian, but, like us,  he appreciated a good haircut experience.  For me that means a barbershop that isn't part of a chain, doesn't have coupons, and where you can still whiff fumes of Wildroot Creme Oil while thumbing through a stack of old Field & Streams.

They're still out there. My go-to place in Chicago is the Belmont Barbershop at 2328 W. Belmont. Top notch tonsorial staff, a pool table, and a fridge stocked with cold complimentary PBRs... and only 15 bucks for a cut (a steal in ChiTown). What's not to like?

In my old stomping grounds of Austin, pal & Bolus contributor Ryan Cochran recommends the Avenue Barbershop at 1710 South Congress. Similarly old school, plus it hosts a regular Saturday "hot rods and haircuts" car show.  When in Austin I also recommend Pete's Flat Top Shop at 6011 Burnet, where owner Pete Pernales is renowned as the Michelangelo of the Flat Top, and Wooten Barbers (Austin's oldest) at 2106 Guadalupe, next door to the UT campus. 

Up I-35 in Dallas, Rob's Chop Shop  at 3613 Parry is another swell spot to get your ears lowered. Owner Rob Villareal really knows how to chop a mop, and has a killer Brian Bass lead sled to boot! 

Out west, I recommend Hawleywoods with two locations in Costa Mesa and Long Beach. Proprietor Donny Hawley is a maestro on the clippers, but please heed the strictly enforced dress code:  leave your flip-flops, Oakleys, and fanny packs in the car.

That's just a conversation starter. Got any recommendations in your vicinity? Leave 'em in the comments.

Comments

[Tolbert]

If you're in Atlanta and in need of a trim I would highly recommend stopping in and seeing Craig or Kerry, they are brothers, at the Terrace Barber Shop just off I-75 in Marietta. A cut is $17 and Craig can fill you all in about meeting and dating Ukrainian women over the internet (hillarious at times, frightening at others)

3000 Windy Hill Rd SE # A6
Marietta, GA 30067
(770) 952-0330

[B Moe]

Damn, any suggestions for the Athens area or the east side of Atlanta? May-retta is a bit of a drive just for a haircut.

[CT]

Last time I went it was $6 at Tom's barbershop in Tupper lake, NY. The repertoire is limited to high-and-tight, crewcuts, and conservative trims. Executed with a smile and no talking unless you want to talk. Lots of magazines and a lively card game going on in the back room most of the time.

[Rob]

If you're anywhere near Mt. View, CA, you've got to go see Bill the Barber on El Camino Real.

[kenmottet]

God bless the city of Chicago, home to hundreds of barbers who got off the boat from the Old Country some time in the last fifty years. My main man is firmly ensconced in his shop at Pulaski and Elston every tuesday through saturday. His name is Rosario Speizel and his Sicilian accent is as thick today as it was when he first got here five decades ago. He is a talker. His favorite phrase is, "What the sh*t." He gives you the exact haircut you ask for. So you better know the difference between a tapered neckline and a boxed back. He wields a mean straight razor around the neck and ears. And he concludes each session with the ceremonial phrase, "You want water on your hair?"

[david]

If you want a cutey cutting your hair, go to the Chicago Buzz in the Loop. But it's expensive. That's where us financial types go to get a scalp massage during a big day of losing our clients' money.