iowahawk

Odds & Ends

There are a couple more late additions to the Earth Week Cruise-In which you should check out. In other Earth Week Cruise News, Iowahawk gets results! David Archibald sends in a scan from the May 8 edition of the West Australia News (Perth's leading newspaper) celebrating his title as Iowahawk's Champion Carbonator of 2008. David also sends word that, as a result, the News has invited him to pen a global warming op-ed piece.

Good onya, mate! Enjoy the spoils of victory.

And on the topic of Aussie climate change news, a tip of the chapeau to the legendary Tim Blair for spotting the best news story of the 21st Century: global warming causes great tits!

On the Town

Was in New York this week, and had a grand time Tuesday night emptying tequila glasses with a few of the local Gothamite gentry thanks to the quick organizing skills of Bloomberg News legal eagle Charles Glasser. Site of the confabulation was the lounge of the Mandarin Oriental, a posh 35th story aerie overlooking Columbus Circle, and we were joined by a small cabal of dangerous neocon reactionaries starring Bart Nemmers, Mark Semsel, Ian Wilson, space pundit Taylor Dinerman, with special guest Wall Street Journal Online editor James Taranto as the Beaver.

A good time was had by all, or at least that's what I assumed after I woke up in a ditch along the BQE with all my credit cards missing. Luckily Ian Wilson took a few to snapshots to document this inauspicious event, which appear below. Thanks to all, and next time you're in Kingsley swing by Scootch's and I'll treat you to a PBR.

Man, I got totally pixel-faced on that tequila!

View from the window. Sort of like night racing at Bristol, except all the cars are yellow and instead of "Kyle" the drivers are all named "Abdullah."

Here's where Dinerman and Glasser thought they had me ready to buy a Brooklyn Bridge timeshare for $2000. Hah! Like I'm some rube who just fell off the turnip truck. Fifteen minutes later I had 'em haggled down to $950. Thanks, Donald Trump Negotiation Seminar!

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Fresh Air!

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Times Square!

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Like all males in my age cohort, every day is a struggle to deal with the same angry, burning question: where are those jet packs we were promised in the 60's? Because let's face it: without them, the rest of our so-called modern technological "marvels" -- like nanobots, iPhones, and Roombas -- are merely the bitter fruit of Science's shameful legacy of failure.

But now, just in time for Cinco de Mayo, and on the heels of Earth Week, reader Brian Knotts forwards the latest in South-of-the-Border transportation technology: personal strap on Mexican rocket helicopters!

That's right -- honest to goodness personal flight technology from our science amigos to the south. Brian writes:

Technologia Aeroespacial Mexicana (TAM) has designed a strap-on  helicopter. Tiny rockets on the tips of the propellers eliminate the need for a tail rotor, making it possible for the device to be worn on a human body.

More about this marvelous apparatus here.

Longtime readers know that I'm an enthusiast of rocket-powered personal transportation, so you can imagine how happy I was to learn of this breakthrough. I suppose I was a tad disappointed the design utilizes a whirring, 2000 rpm rotor blade rather than pure rocket thrust, but science often involves compromise. As long as it cuts down my travel time to the liquor store, who am I to quibble?

So here's a big thank you to Brian and a grande gracias to Technologia Aerospacial Mexicana for restoring this hardbitten cynic's faith in the future. Andele! Arriba!

Cross-posted at Bolus -- along with Cinco de Mayo lowriders, boogie vans, LSD memories, horrible music videos, and fresh balls daily

2008 Earth Week Cruise-In Part 4

Sadly, our annual Earth Week festivities must end with this batch of impressive entries. Thanks to all of you Eco Warriors for showing Gaia that your pimp hand is strong. And if you didn't get your entry in on time, climate science tells us there's a 60% chance that the planet will survive until next year's contest!

UPDATE UPDATE (5/9/8): A couple late adds submitted by Earl Meyers of the WrongTool Workshop:

I see my esteemed partner is at it again.  "Sheep lie"; Yes. Well, I will have to defer to his vastly greater experience with such, so if he says they do, I guess they do.

Regardless, I am not here to wax eloquent on his proclivities for all things ovine, but to make comment on his choice of hoopties - the 528. Sheesh. Yes, it is a nice car, but he has to work hard to make that thing consume mass quantities of liquefied dinosaur. As mentioned last year, the Golden Anvil of Thor, AKA the Volvo P1800 ES weighs more (see attached), is smaller, less practical, and uses more gas without having to resort to a freakin' trailer. Seriously, I think he needs an intervention - his BMW monomania has reached the point that you could slap four wheels and a roundel on a toilet, and the guy would buy the thing.

Earl continues:

The other thing I wanted to mention was a remark by Captain Victory - he is certainly correct that his righteous machine has more displacement and worse mileage than many early BMWs. However, there are some exceptions, most notably the M12/13 Formula 1 engine made in the turbo days of the early eighties.

A picture of one is attached - it is basically the same old M10 block used for about 30 years (as in the 2002), but destroked to 1499 cc. With all the wizardry done and attached the thing cranked out an estimated 1400+ hp - estimated because the BMW dyno only went to 1200 or so. In qualifying trim the thing was often seen trailing a cloud of black smoke - this was not the thing on fire, the smoke was from the raw gas that was injected to cool the pistons. Interestingly enough, they found that M10 blocks with about 60K miles on them held up the best to this output which is still the envy of every engine manufacturer except maybe Pratt & Whitney.

Now that is pounding Gaia into the ground like a cheap, green, non-biodegradable, plastic spike, and just the thing to help the planet recover from the colder temperatures of the Cretinaceous period of the years immediately prior to 1980, and which caused everyone to wear K-mart cardigan sweaters to ward off the malaise.

UPDATE: Mark Lowder forwards this fine vintage footage of aquatic craziness with commentary:

In honor of Earth Week I thought you might enjoy these two videos from those daring days of yesteryear. The first is my (dead in a wreck in 66) father in law piloting the Miss Bardahl to a heat victory in some race somewhere. I can never figure out how they stayed in these boats under power since apparently the drivers refused to wear seat belts, fearing they would be crushed by the boat if it flipped and preferring instead to be thrown clear.....into the water....at 200MPH.

The second is my personal Earth Day favorite however. The 1954 Hurricane IV roaring down the Lake Arrowhead dock lines on a beautiful, peaceful,  QUIET!..... weekend morning. The gall it took to run these unmuffled Allison V-12's thirty feet off of the front doors of somebody's mountain lake cabin never ceases to make me giggle maniacally. All that's lacking is a couple of kayaker's getting their goretex hydro blasted off their bodies by the wall of 150 MPH water churned up by the props on these things.

Yo ho ho and and bottle of 120 octane! Tennessean Tim Floyd enjoys tranquil life on the lake:

Attached is my carbon burner for your series. 502 cubic inches of roaring fun, a 1998 Donzi 22 Classic.

Thoughtful Tim also sends a movie of his tub in a lower-tranquility state:

Via Colorado's Bill Llewellin, a classic bit of Brit with a special Detroit surprise inside the bonnet:

OK Here's my contribution: '71 Triumph TR-6, '79 302 Ford engine, Edlebrock 4bbl, '92 T-5 5speed. Weigh 50 lbs less than the original.

Out in the Hippie Heartland of Portland Oregon, Simon Harding startles the natives with this Daktari special:

Here's a pict of my 5,000 pound plus oil burner.  It is a 1965 Land Rover 109 that I have modified extensively to maximize the consumption of diesel fuel.  It features a 6 cylinder Cummins turbodiesel and five speed American transmission.  An added bonus that comes with this vehicle at no added charge is its insistence on continuing to leak gear oil from the transfer case which is, unsurprisingly, the only British part still in the drive train short of the axles (one of which also leaks.  With the ability to use the four wheel drive to drive through previously untrammelled portions of our Heritage, I can now leak gear oil pretty much where I like while also enjoying that diesel smoke aroma.  Sometimes I burn biodiesel because I love the smell of french fries.

In recognition of and in celebration of Earth Day I considered letting it stand curbside with my big block suburban, my Toyota four wheel drive as well as my 1990 Volvo 740, all idling the day away.  But my daughter objected, and I thought my neighbors would not appreciate it.  There are few things I enjoy as much as firing it up and driving through my fairly liberal earth hugging neighborhood belching diesel fueled goodness into the air, doing my part to warm our home planet.

 

New York's Charles Glasser returns with another selection from his cellar, a fine '70 vintage:

Here’s a pic of one of my other toys. This 1970 E-Type has been modified with big valves, stroked and bored, 3 Stromburg carbs, Isky cams, and a 5-speed. I get an average of 9 blisteringly fast miles to the gallon.

And last but not least, this intriguing hoopty submitted by downtown Chicagoan Bob Meyers:

I didn't send anything to last years roundup because I thought my new  ride would be finished for this years. It's not to be, but getting  close! I'm building an airplane in my garage at my home in Chicago's west loop.

Although in theory it gets a Gaia friendly 20 miles to the gallon,  this plane - like most like it - is for pure fun.  99% of the time it  will end up right back were it started its flight.  Let's see, if my  calculations are right that's ZERO miles to the gallon.  Take that Gaia!

It may only be 10 gallons at a time, but I will do my part. The engine will burn a whole five gallons an hour moving me along at  120 mph. If it looks familiar, that's because it's a Volkswagen Type 1  modified for airplane use with 2100 cc giving me 80 whole horsepower  at max RPM (about 3400). I built it this winter as I neared completion  of the airframe. It's an all aluminum two seater and everything but the fuselage is  finished and that is almost done. That's a wing hanging behind me in  the picture of me drilling the fuselage floor in place. The engine and  airframe are both kits and I have been working on it for about 18  months.

Now that's my kinda flying insect! Great job Bob, and kudos to all of you who are carrying on the carbon-spewing flame. Until next year: Excelsior!

I Get Allergic Smelling Hay

So I'm taking a brief break from Hooterville and heading to New York next week. If any readers want to join me for a cold one Tuesday nite in Manhattan, drop an email and I'll figure out a good bar for a get-together.